Conundrum concerning my aunt. Advice please

My aunt , as I have said , is of sound mind. However there are a lot of things she cannot do for herself.That is where I, with POA can help her.

NotSpaghetti

But would you Jaxjacky - if you couldn't solve it gently?
If you think someone cares for you towards the end of your life do you really want to be told "no they dont".

I hope so NotSpaghetti but I’d do more research first and try to find out more about this other person, even offer them out to discuss how to best work together to help my relative.
Does she have her own house, family etc?

I am her family. She never married

I meant this friend of your aunt’s JamesandJohn not your aunt.

Most people are assuming that POA automatically means that you can act on someone else’s behalf but this isn’t the case (as I understand it). POA only becomes active if the person loses mental capacity to make their own decisions UNLESS the person specifically states in the POA that they wish the POA to become active as soon as it’s registered.

Something to check.

JamesandJon33

*Cossy*. We did that almost immediately. We also locked the back gate and took the keys from the key safe as heaps of people knew the combination. But my aunt gave keys back and someone unlocked the back gate.
My aunt is very reliant on this person, and she is overly possessive of my aunt. It may of course be quite innocent, as someone up thread said we shall have to be increasingly vigilant., but I have always had a’feeling’ about this woman….

She, the woman, sounds awful!

petra

Jamesandjohn
Are you aware that property theft is huge business and is on the increase.
For all you know this woman ( or more likely) someone she knows has the ball rolling right now.
This article will tell you what to do to protect your aunt’s house.
It’s not complicated or time consuming. It’s basically registering your aunts property with the land registry office. All done on line.
Your aunts profile is perfect for these criminals.

www.reallymoving.com/conveyancing/guides/10-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-property-fraud#:~:text=Register%20your%20property&text=Check%20with%20the%20Land%20Registry,a%20mortgage%20using%20your%20property.

I agree

It’s tricky when your aunt is of sound mind. You can’t just use the PoA to do whatever you want unless she has authorised that. I see no problem at all in taking any valuables and important documents in the house into safe custody and signing up to the Land Registry’s free service to alert you if anyone attempts to transfer ownership of the house. Also speak to the Bank about the debit card. They won’t be pleased to know that a third party has access to it and the PIN.

It looks very much as though this woman is grooming your aunt. I have seen it happen and your aunt won’t believe it’s happening. I would be very wary about her making a will under the influence of this woman. If you know who her solicitor is, alert them. Also alert the care home about the possibility of a solicitor visiting or this woman taking her out to see a solicitor. Better to prevent a will being made under undue influence if you can, than to try to challenge it later.

My aunt has authorised me to clear her house. I am doing it carefully and putting aside things I think the family would like as keepsakes. I also have a duty to secure the house. This ‘friend’ came in when I was not there and took something destined for a child. She said I had no right to stop her as my aunt had previously let her have things. You can see the difficulty.

Unless she had written proof of your aunt's wishes, she is stealing. If she continues to try to take your aunt's belongings ask her if she has a written copy of your aunt's wishes.

She needs to be challenged robustly.

You are being taken advantage of by this dubious woman and you MUST stop her entering the house. I know it's difficult if you don't live nearby but as your Aunt is in a care home, you have POA and are her only next of kin then I consider this woman to be trespassing. If she enters the house without your knowledge and perhaps leaves a window open or a door unlocked then you will have a real problem if the house is burgled or occupied by squatters; your insurance company won't want to know!!

Good points.

JamesandJon33

My aunt has authorised me to clear her house. I am doing it carefully and putting aside things I think the family would like as keepsakes. I also have a duty to secure the house. This ‘friend’ came in when I was not there and took something destined for a child. She said I had no right to stop her as my aunt had previously let her have things. You can see the difficulty.

This ‘friend’ came in when I was not there and took something destined for a child. She said I had no right to stop her as my aunt had previously let her have things.

My aunt says she hasn’t told anyone to take anything

This woman is a thief. You aunt was targeted by her over a period of time as this woman thought she was vulnerable.
Be careful about confronting her on your own.

I'm pleased to hear that you are house-clearing.
In time this woman will be "out"
🤞

My first thought is that although you say your aunt is on the ball is it possible that the things that have gone missing have been disposed of by your aunt? Are there many items, are they valuable?
If you're absolutely sure of this then imo your duty as the person with POA is to protect your aunt. If you change the locks as has been suggested then your aunt might simply demand the keys from you and give them back to her friend. I would consult a solicitor and then tell your aunt that the solicitor has said the house and gate locks must be changed and the bank card kept by you and neither item should be given to the friend. You could then also explain this to the friend if you wished or maybe the solicitor might write to her to set out the facts.

POA doesn’t allow you to go against your aunts wishes if she is of sound mind, however it maybe worth exploring the need to remove valuable and sentimental assets in readiness for property sale. With regard to the bank card I’m sure it is illegal/ fraudulent to use someone else’s card - this could be discussed with your aunt so that her friend doesn’t get into trouble and explain that anything that requires purchasing can be done either by yourself or the care home manager. It is unusual for a care home not to place valuables such as bank cards and cash in the safe and monitors the use if for no other reason than to protect themselves.
Good Luck Speak with Care home Manager

You have to find out who your aunts solicitor is
Has she ever done a will
She must do a power of attorney : there are two
Good luck
For care and finance

f you are to have a chance of not upsetting your aunt, you need to tell a few lies here.

Contact a locksmith and have the locks changed, and keep the keys yourself.

Tell you aunt, you have done this, once it has been done and say you have done so to protect both yourself and her good friend from being suspected of removing things from your aunt's house without her permission.

You say she has had cleaners through the years, and quite honestly can you or she be sure that all of these people were honest ?

Even if they were, they may have been naive enough to have keys labelled as to where they belonged and it is nearly always possible to have keys copied.

Having the bank cards changed is more difficult to achieve, as if you aunt is still mentally all there, and you do not say or sound as if she is not, you cannot stop her lending her friend, or anyone else, her bank card.

Would the bank be willing to pay anything related to your aunt's property from an account that only you have access to?

I doubt it is legal to put up cameras in the house or outside it, unless there is a notice stating this - check with the police before considering doing so

Make a list of the things you know or suspect are missing and if possible check with your aunt whether she has disposed of them, or knows where they are.

You say the bank was concerned to realise that an unrelated friend had access to the bank cards and to the house. Perhaps you could dress a change of banking arrangements up as a demand from the bank?

One last point: who is or are your aunt's legal heirs? If you are not the sole heir, you could well be in difficulties if items or money left to others is missing when the day comes for settling your aunt's affairs, which is another very valid reason for making sure that you, who hold the POA , are the only person with access to the house.

Perhaps you need to run all these points past a solicitor of your choosing, not one used by your aunt, so you know exactly how you stand.

My mother was scammed in this way by a seemingly sweet elderly lady. Her bank account was cleaned out.

Try to stop all contact with the scammer as soon as possible. She may use psychological tricks to manipulate your relative, such as guilt, shifting blame to you and claims of innocence.

She needs to be stopped now, even if it upsets your aunt. What a horrible situation and sadly a very common occurrence.

I doubt it is legal to put up cameras in the house or outside it, unless there is a notice stating this - check with the police before considering doing so

I believe many people have CCTV outside the house now and inside too. You would have to be careful not to invade a neighbour's privacy and, of course, get the written permission of the house owner, in this case the Aunt.

This happened to my mother and is sadly becoming more common.

She is probably manipulating your aunt and may try to blame you, use guilt or even threats when you try and put a stop to it. She must be stopped as soon as possible. You can call Age Independent if you need to talk to someone. Horrible situation, so sorry.

Helpline 0800 319 6789

POA does not as some think give carte blanche and can only be enacted when someone does not have capacity

Agree with Spinnaker. Get some cameras put in and check through online banking before doing anything else....x

GrauntyHelen

POA does not as some think give carte blanche and can only be enacted when someone does not have capacity

There are different types of Power of Attorney.
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/looking-after-people/managing-affairs-for-someone-else/#h-ordinary-power-of-attorney
A power of attorney gives the attorney the legal authority to deal with third parties such as banks or the local council. amongst other duties.

GrauntyHelen

POA does not as some think give carte blanche and can only be enacted when someone does not have capacity

and can only be enacted when someone does not have capacity
Thast is not true. You can appoint someone to act on your behalf for several reasons.
You can make a lasting power of attorney (LPA) in case you lose your mental capacity.