Conundrum concerning my aunt. Advice please

Yes you are right Sago I must face facts

No. I'm not sure it's that simple in this case.
my understanding was that unless the aunt lacks mental capacity which she doesn't then OP cannot overrule her.
The POA is only to carry out the aunt's wishes which she cannot do herself due to physical frailty or immobility.
What is the nature of this relationship do you think.
You say your aunt relies on this person.
Are they or have they become close friends.
It's a tricky situation.
Maybe you should take legal advice.
What kind of things are missing from the house?
What does your aunt say about this.

I-have spoken to my aunt about the missing things and she says she has not told anyone they can take them. She is baffled that they have just disappeared.
I understand my POA role as Welbeck has described it. This friend shops for my aunt, before and after she went into the care home, and before.
, that accompanied her to hospital appointments etc. She was extremely annoyed when I took the keys back at first. The relationship is strange. If I were to go to see my aunt ,say to discuss something private, annd this friend was there, even though I said why I was there she would not leave. She’d stay and interrupt, giving her ‘two penneth. It is very difficult. Last time I asked her to wait outside, which she did.. with a flounce.

Your aunt may be bright and intelligent in some ways and a gullible fool in other ways. You have POA for a reason.

Jamesandjohn
Are you aware that property theft is huge business and is on the increase.
For all you know this woman ( or more likely) someone she knows has the ball rolling right now.
This article will tell you what to do to protect your aunt’s house.
It’s not complicated or time consuming. It’s basically registering your aunts property with the land registry office. All done on line.
Your aunts profile is perfect for these criminals.

www.reallymoving.com/conveyancing/guides/10-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-property-fraud#:~:text=Register%20your%20property&text=Check%20with%20the%20Land%20Registry,a%20mortgage%20using%20your%20property.

I would check where your aunt keeps the deeds of the house and any other legal documents and, if necessary, remove them and keep them at your own house.
If you think anything is particularly valuable, you could speak to her solicitor of your concerns and ask if you could remove items and keep them safely as you have POA or hand them to the solicitor for safe keeping.

I think you should trust your instinct about this "friend". Missing items is very worrying. .Personally I would overide your aunt and act in her best interest, get the debit card cancelled pronto and change the locks. Petra is right. Register the house for your peace of mind. I have a property which is sometimes empty so it is registered it with the land registry.

I would also contact the police to
advise them of the situation and report the missing items. Maybe this woman is already known to them ?

This is potentially a safeguarding issue and Social Services could be the first port of call for advice in the first instance......

Does your aunt have a passport? If yes, get it and keep it. And paper utility bill and council tax. These are all documents that are used by these criminals.
Your average solicitor probably wouldn’t know if a passport had been doctored.

Perhaps you could say to this lady that both you and your aunt know there are things missing from the house and you are considering contacting the police. Also say that to keep her above suspicion she would be better off with no access to the house .

Have you advised the insurance company that the house is empty?

Someone mentioned a codicil to the Will earlier. We were told by a solicitor that it is easier to make a new Will. The Solicitor would have to satisfy themself that your Aunt is of sound mind.

Your aunt may be bright and intelligent in some ways and a gullible fool in other ways. You have POA for a reason.

Your aunt is also naïve in the ways of the modern world.

If she's not acting in her own best interests, you can overrule her.
A social worker told me that when my Mum was in hospital and refusing to accept care at home.

We bought a property last year and, along with the Land Registry fee, we took out an anti-fraud insurance policy to guard against anyone falsely altering our details.
Apparently it's a growing problem.

Have you told her house insurance company that your aunt is now living in a care home and the house is empty?
They may have their own requirements for security measures to be put in place.

I echo the previous posters who have said report your concerns to the Adult Care social services, and do talk to her bank again. They may put their own security measures in place.

If your aunt needs personal shopping eg toiletries, the care home can arrange this.
The friend doesn't need access to her bank account.

In addition, as she is living in a care home and this friend visits her there, I think you should tell the manager about your concerns, and ask them to tell you if they pick up on anything that might be out of order.

The fact that you had to ask the friend to leave the room, and she flounced out, when you wanted a private conversation with your aunt tells you that she is over-invested and over-stepping the mark.

Your aunt will be upset if you do something but will be much more upset if in the future everything is gone. My advice would be
1. change the locks on the house, as you have POA there should be no problem about this
2. take photos of any valuables such as pictures, jewellery etc and then I would write out what is happening - this giving keys back again etc, get someone to be a witness to this happening, and then I would see a solicitor, explain what is happening and what you have done and deposit photos and information with them.
3. I would suggest you go to the police, show them what is happening and ask if they have any suggestions etc. then if in the future anything does occur, they will already know the circumstances and you will have covered your backs.
In the meantime, you might consider finding out more about this person, so checking their background or perhaps having someone investigate her. Again you would get peace of mind and know that you have done the best for your aunt. If anything odd shows up , or if you see a pattern where she has done this before with someone else you can pass this knowledge on to the police or even if you confront the person and say that you have the evidence of whatever they are doing and will be watching them carefully.
Yes your aunt may be very annoyed with you, or she may be upset about what you have found out and be grateful for your care and help. Whatever she does or does not do , you know that you have done your best for her and that you have safeguareded her as much as possible . Good luck

JamesandJon33, I’m a bit puzzled as to why this woman needs to have access to your aunt’s house if your aunt is no longer living there. Does your aunt ask her to collect things or do some cleaning?
If not then I think you have every right to ask her for the keys back. Do you still have keys as well? If so I would suggest that you remove anything of value and tell your aunt that the insurance company has insisted on this for security purposes. Make an inventory and give it to your aunt so she knows exactly what’s been removed. Either store them at your house or at a storage facility. You say that her bank was horrified that she has given her card to someone else so I wonder if their fraud department might be prepared to speak to your aunt and tell her this is not acceptable, she might listen to them.

JamesandJon, this lady needs watching very carefully!!!!!!

But would you Jaxjacky - if you couldn't solve it gently?
If you think someone cares for you towards the end of your life do you really want to be told "no they dont".

There is a lot of sound advice on here. I really would cover all the bases where this "friend" is concerned. Change the locks, photograph everything of value, register the house with Land Registry who alert you if anyone makes enquiries about a property. She should have no reason to enter the house if your Aunt is in a care home and you have POA. As others have said, you need to make some discreet enquiries about this person, there have been many well documented cases of "friends" grooming elderly and possibly gullible people. You are right to be suspicious.

Thank you all for your advice, which I shall take onboard. As you can see I am awake worrying about all this. I think the first thing is to secure the house. No more visits to pick up thing from said friend.

You need to inform the insurance company that the house is unoccupied. The premium will increase. The insurance company may stipulate that you check the house every 30 days. You could tell them you are the sole key holder and tell your aunt if she needs anything from the house you will fetch it. Get keys back from the friend or change the locks. Tell the friend you need the spare keys for the estate agent or that the insurance company have told you that you are the sole key holder.

You have POA, it's my understanding that you can not use that power if your aunt is of sound mind. However.......... she may not be ? Dementia symptoms appear years before diognosis. I realize that info. is of no help but it is clear the ' friend' is up to no good. Do what is necessary to protect your aunt. There is no smoke without fire. Good luck.

No decent friend or carer would take possession of someones debit card !

Yes insurance company has been informed. I collected all the keys in when my aunt went into hospital. She asked me for them and gave them out again.

Change the locks, even if you had the keys back from the friend there's nothing to say she has not had a new set cut.

You have POA, it's my understanding that you can not use that power if your aunt is of sound mind.

That's not how I understand it.
You might need to talk to the person's surgery on their behalf, or their utility companies.
Lots of people get flustered about dealing with their day to day business and need some help.

The funniest we've had with Dad was when my husband was trying to sort his phone line.
The operator asked Dad for certain letters from his secret password before he would speak to my husband. He had no idea.
My husband had to tell him so Dad could tell the operator. We were all laughing!

On another occasion the operator wanted certain letters from Dad's mother's maiden name.
Dad said I'll just tell you her name and you can work it out for yourself 😂