Worrying - any tips on how to calm yourself

Thanks for the Insight Timer info Luckygirl which I will have a look at.

I started meditation some years ago with the help of an app and it changed my life. I am a natural worrier, and have had chronically raised cortisol levels since an anxious childhood.

Your description of how you deal with intrusive thoughts is quite insightful keepingquiet.

I have learned to observe unhelpful intrusive thoughts without shying away from them. I I have realised that these thoughts are often the result of habitual thinking, and I tell myself that I don’t need to accept them. They are merely thoughts, but it does take practice to change unhelpful habitual thinking.

I also attend a secular meditation support group, and breathing exercises also help.

I learned this technique a few weeks ago when the pre-Christmas anxiety got to me.

I call it, Catch it, check it, change it. I even do physical movements.

It calls for some awareness of when thoughts are impacting on your physical comfort, that time when you realise you are getting tense in your tummy or elsewhere.

So, if I get a unwanted and unhelpful thought I 'catch' it in my fist.
Then I check it, by looking at my hand and deciding if this is a helpful or a harmful thought. These thoughts are rarely helpful!
So then I 'change' it by physically pushing it way with my hand.
These moments can be very small, so people won't notice, but I find it has been a real help to me.

I think acceptance can help quite a bit. You know there are things that you can't control and you know that worrying won't make those things go away. Maybe you can take your mind off somewhere else, if only for a little while? I sometimes fantasise about taking a no-expenses-spared holiday, or I read a good book, plan how I'd redecorate a room (or the garden), or even work on a tough puzzle (not too tough or I give up!). Accept that you'll feel bad sometimes but it isn't going to be all the time for the rest of your life. Hope this helps.

Put on some music that you love and dance and think of all the good things in your life. If a ‘bad’ thought comes in say STOP

I like that NanaK54

I don't know if this will seem too trite, hopefully not.

I do like this saying:
'worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace'

I wish you well

I have a tendency to brood over worries, and often need to distract myself. I find gardening the best therapy, but it’s not the weather for that! I like jigsaws, especially if I listen to an audio book at the same time. I also like a sort and tidy of a cupboard or chest of drawers! While doing tasks, I listen to history podcasts from BBC Sounds - You’re Dead to Me is my favourite, though I also enjoy A Short History of….. Keeping busy and occupying the brain is the key!

I would also recommend an on-line mindfulness course..

Luckygirl3

Look up Insight Timer - I have this installed on my phone and you can access a vast array of relaxation exercises of all lengths and sorts - for free!

I’ve just downloaded this. Many Thanks. I’ll give it a go..

SuzieHi

“Look up Insight Timer - I have this installed on my phone and you can access a vast array of relaxation exercises of all lengths and sorts - for free!”

Have just looked at this app- seems to indicate it’s free for 7 days then £35 pa?
How do you get the free access?

Been using it for years and have never paid a bean. You do not have to pay the sub to access most of the site. I just ignore the page about subs and plough on to find what I need - it has never been a problem.

I'm another who recommends a relaxation/meditation app.
I use Balance but there are others. Being very prone to catastrophising (?), worrying and getting stressed, usually about minor stuff, I've found this incredibly helpful, especially for promoting positivity and counteracting negative thinking. Balance, and I think others, also has programs for helping your sleep.
Good luck!

“Look up Insight Timer - I have this installed on my phone and you can access a vast array of relaxation exercises of all lengths and sorts - for free!”

Have just looked at this app- seems to indicate it’s free for 7 days then £35 pa?
How do you get the free access?

When I am very anxious or depressed, I find that I cannot concentrate on a book without my mind constantly going back to the worry. But for me J S Bach is a very important composer, relieves my stress and I have to give it full attention, so I have taught myself to concentrate on Bach when he is on the radio, so either play my own copy of Bach or on the radio, and because he has always been so important to me,I can use it to stop me thinking on other lines. I become aware of how tense my body is and can relax a bit

It's awful to have this situation, Kateykrunch. A friend was in a dreadful state of anxiety over several months and saw a therapist; one of her suggestions was to imagine a Highway Code bright red 'STOP' sign; hold that image in your mind and say, firmly, 'STOP', then immediately turn to some other occupation like the newspaper - or crocheting! - and you may be surprised at how well that action works to deflect your mind from the corkscrew of worrying.

Thank you everyone, I have found some of the tips interesting and will give some a try. I have crocheted for England today, lovely to keep my mind occupied. Did some very hard Sudoku but found my thoughts intrusive so made mistakes. Been out helping break ice and clear a path to get our car out, hoping for a thaw! Its really interesting other peoples take on this issue and how they have dealt with it I hope we all can feel calmer and less anxious. Thanks again.

Firstly make sure you are hydrated and rested, and are not drinking a lot of coffee or tea.

Neurotic worrying and anxiety can normally be addressed by thinking about something else instead. However you have to take responsibility for your own thinking and get into better thinking habits. Some people believe we can't control our thoughts ; this a lie. One can choose what to think about , unless one is psychotic and in need of medical attention.

When a lot of emotional energy has been used up , say after a great loss such as a bereavement, it can be helpful to be prescribed a tranquilliser or take an over the counter herbal tranquilliser ,until the energy comes back.

RainbowsAndUnicorns1

Today is the tomorrow you worried about and all is well.

My friend says “and this too will pass”. Also.agree with ginny as I have always used painting as a great help. However, I have hardly done any of this over the last year due to health problems. My stress about family and especially about a daughter of mine has gone on for a long time. I can jump from one worry to another. Well I haven’t done myself any good as I now have a photo of a bleeding ulcer I have acquired which is probably a part of my health issues. So I am now trying hard to not overthink about anything I am not in control of. Now will have to get my sketch books out to get an idea for a painting. As soon as this icy weather improves I will have to get out for a walk as at the moment several falls have stopped me doing that.

My go to is getting stuck into some sort of art or craft. Hours can pass by without thinking of ‘the problem’. It was a lifesaver during Covid too.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about and all is well.

It’s an awful feeling, isn’t it? I overthink all the time and worry about my AC and GC too. Meditation helps. I listen to Allie Boothroyd’s yoga nidra using you tube. I have also memorised a meditative blessing to ‘send’ to my AC, DH and myself. If intrusive thoughts interrupt me I start again. I also listen to poetry eg Simon Armitage on you tube.( I find his poetry unsentimental but soothing.)

I ‘listen’ to books when I find sleep difficult. Our library service uses Bolinda for audio books and that stops me stewing at night. I usually set the time for an hour and have it on low.

I’ve spend most of my life with anxiety and or depression. These days I just occupy my mind with tv, radio, sewing, cooking etc. Every day I realise how lucky I am to have reasonable health, enough for my needs and a wonderful family. I never used to think this but thinking positive thoughts has been so helpful to me.

I do feel concern for my three girls and their families but I try not to dwell unless I can do something positive to help. I try to be an ear for them when they need to have a grumble or are upset.

I know it can be quite a challenge to prevent worry taking over but I’ve come to believe in the power of positive thinking and mindfulness as useful tools.

I wish you all the best, 💐

It is reckoned by some that it helps if you write down anxieties and worries
If it is a letter you are procrastinating about writing for whatever reason try writing it out in draft I find it helps you not to turn over what to say in your mind
When I was on medication that seemed to wake me up in the night feeling very anxious I found putting the radio on either a program interesting enough to occupy your thought but not exciting enough to stop you falling back asleep

KateyKrunch
When you’re anxious your body produces Adrenaline. This is a powerful hormone to help your body in fight or flight.
It’s a powerful hormone for athletes etc because it’s a fuel
But, if you don’t burn that fuel you are causing damage to your body. Blood is pumped to your heart to increase the heart rate. This is why you breath heavy when your anxious, your heart is overworked at this time and your blood pressure is rising.

But, there is something you can do: burn that fuel
You can do this any way you want but it has to be physical enough to make you breath heavy.
You can do star jumps, running on the spot, shadow boxing etc etc.
As well as this practice deep breathing. If you do this properly you can’t stay anxious. When deep breathing that breath must come from your stomach.
There are a myriad of videos on YouTube.
I was fortunate to be taught this over 40 years ago.

Can you lose yourself in a good book? That’s my go-to, especially when I can’t sleep because of worries on my mind.

I suffer from health anxiety. Always have. It can be quite debilitating at times. Worrying not only doesn’t change anything it makes me feel worse.