Re-stuffing

Try and live one day at a time, so that you don't get overwhelmed. The experts would say to find something positive from each of your senses, so look at something beautiful, touch something , taste something you like, smell the fresh smells around you, listen to some of your favourite music. I've been in your position and my biggest advice would be to be kind to yourself.

Of course I did, GF!

Have a look at the Plum Village website.. There are some lovely
videos that might help you.. sending a hug

Thank you FGT. I have been following your story. My husband too has cancer, although thankfully in remission at the moment. It's a scary place. I wish you both well.

Kate1949 I felt anxious and low on Friday night and cried my eyes out. Yesterday was better and today I feel calmer and less scared.

I hope the same for you. A good sleep, the world turns and you feel stronger again somehow.

Thank you so much everyone. How bad do I feel moaning on when everyone has had such rotten times. Grandmafrench Your lovely post made me laugh. Thank you for George. I will treasure him.

kittylester

And, of course, listen to the Beatles!!

She remembers, Kate 😉.
Just focus on baby steps each day, small things that can give you pleasure, don’t worry about dips or curves in the road ‘cos life will straighten out and you’re going to feel like the real you again.
And remember that ‘worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrows - it empties today of its strengths’.

Can’t give you a proper hug but I hereby step aside and renounce all claims on lovely George.🎸🎼 Your need is greater.
Take good care of yourself and get strong again. 😘

Having read the thread, I was about to post MOnica’s quote. When DD2 was in hospital very ill, it was difficult to hear those words and also that rage and anger against her life-changing prognosis were wasting energy.

Gradually, as things became clearer, we settled into a new routine and had to accept the ‘new plan B’.

I hope things improve 💐.

kittylester

And, of course, listen to the Beatles!!

That would REALLY finish me off! I think I must be the only person in the country who didn’t like any of their songs! It wasn’t that I didn’t like music of that time. I did, I just loathed the Beatles’ songs.
Unfortunately, they were at their peak in my teen years so I couldn’t avoid them!
Sorry Kate1949. My reply is a bit flippant given that you are so sad. I really do feel for you, and can only say that nothing lasts for ever. Not the bad, or unfortunately, the good. So hang in there. We are all with you xx

Absolutely accept that you're going to feel terrible for a while and be patient and kind to yourself.
Don't tell yourself you should be coping better than you are (we're all different and so we cope differently).
Don't leap gratefully on any glib quick-fixes thrown your way - they may sound clever, but they're liable to make you feel inadequate when they don't actually work.
If you have a good imagination, try thinking of yourself in the same way you'd think towards some other woman who needs your help. In your mind, go to that unhappy woman (actually yourself) and put your arm around her.
I imagine that most of us who have just read your post have been there too, and are sending you their best thoughts.

I find meeting a few friends in our local cafe makes me feel much beta . We have been meeting for 8 years now every weds and we help each other . It’s only an hour but I come home and feel much beta in myself

Come here and get stuffed, Kate 😙
I hope you know well that I don't mean that.
I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

Kate, I'm sorry you feel down
I know it's boring but I think keeping in a routine helps. Getting up at the same time every day, routine during the day and getting some fresh air if you are able to go for a walk for 30 minutes or so. This time of year it is always a bit more difficult too x

Lots of good advice here. I find I feel better if I can feel that I’ve accomplished something at the end of the day. I keep my expectations small, today it’s to make a start on sorting out the instruction manuals that have been accumulating in the drawer under the tv.

Lots of lovely posts with good ideas.

One of the problems when you've been through the mill is your health suffers, so take care to get some exercise and eat well.

I've made it my job to do a patrol of the garden every morning, checking on what is flowering and doing a bit snipping here and there to tidy up. Not useful if you haven't got a garden but some flowering pots would do as well.

Here's hoping every day gets a little bit better

troubles.

Thanks everyone. I know you all have many trouble

Some lovely people on here with very wise words which I hope will help you Kate.

Be kind and gentle with yourself.
I can't add anything other than to say I'm thinking of you and willing the sun to shine for you soon.

(((Hugs))) be kind to yourself, go at your pace 🌸

Kate we all need a pity party sometimes.
🎉🥳🌞

I hope today is a bit brighter.

Hug from me (( )). I agree with all the suggestions above. We’re all allowed a ‘pity party’ from time to time. I think it helps us reset.
Start with the getting out suggestions, maybe take a book or magazine and get a coffee in a small coffee shop. People usually chat to others in the small independent ones.
💐

Thank you everyone. You are very kind. I know most of you have been through the mill - I was having a bit of a pity party last night! Life can be tough, but it's tough for most people.

When Paw died I found comfort in this from a friend who said it had been a favourite saying of her mother’s

“When sadness comes, lean on gentle memories”

The following is now a cliche, but it is a cliche because it is so true
^God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I do not know whether you have lost your stuffing after illness or after one of life's tragedies and disasters, but restuffing starts with putting small handfuls of stuffing into the small fiddly places and gradually getting to the point where you can put it in in bigger handfuls.

Lots of suggestions up thread, but I think the most important is to get out of the house everyday if you can. I do not know whether you live in a town, city or rural area, flat or house, but just get out into the fresh air. Sit in the garden (well wrapped), walk down the street to the corner shop, saying hallo to people as you go. If nothing else open a window wide and breath in deeply.

Then follow up any or all the ideas, other people have given you.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way, Kate. I know that you have already been through many difficult times.
Lots of good advice here about treating yourself- whatever makes you feel better, but remember to keep posting. GNetters are here to listen.
I hope that things improve for you soon.