to winterwhite,
Definitely stick to your guns and stay put. If your life suits you both as it is , dont let them take that away from you whilst you are still able to enjoy it. Yes you are perfectly aware that one day there will be a situation where you may have to move for whatever reason , but why give up good now for possibly ok later? To me that sounds a lot like them thinking what suits them rather than what suits you and they are just looking to the future and thinking how it may affect them.
Well if they visit you every week and are very involved in your life it may be worth considering their views, but I bet my bottom dollar that this is not the case. I have done 10 years 3 days a week of hospital car volunteer. I have met many many people in couples or alone, who like all of us, find the way to live that suits them and cope with the problems that arise as best they can. But the important thing is that they do their own choosing and make their own decisions. We may become infirm but we are not children to be ordered and told what to do with our lives.
But at the same time we need to be practical and work out how to keep going on our own. So I do suggest that you could do a check up of things yourselves, before the children come and use them to persuade you to leave. Think of it as a game of chess and you are working out how to do Checkmate, to all their plans!!
So firstly , just look around your house and start with basics. So check up on carpets or rugs that you might trip over etc. In the bathroom it is quite easy to get a couple of grab rails put in, or maybe you have a shower? So I now have a seat in my shower. When my back is bad I use that but can put the seat up out of the way when it is not needed. So that sort of thing. Do you have steps up to the house etc. Anyway you know your own place and what you enjoy.
So if you love your garden , you might start to find either someone who can give you a regular basic time to cut grass and weed etc. thats worth while as the first line of attack they tend to use is , "oh the garden is getting too much for you "Another thing I organised with someone some years ago. She was a widow, her husband was the keen gardener, and she didnt want to leave but found the garden too much for her. I knew a family who at that time were living in a flat. He was a keen gardener and missed it, and it ended up where he did the garden in return for being able to grow some veg and help himself to veg and some flowers. It worked out very well and the family also became friends with the lady. I know that does not always work out but it might be something that might be useful.
Do you know someone who enjoys driving and still has a car? After I finished doing hospital car, I have done several trips on a no profit basis. So I have been happy to take 2 or 3 people to the coast. We just share the fuel costs. They enjoy being picked up at their door and when we get to the coast they do as they please and we make a time to meet up to go home. If the weather turns awful we ring each other up and see if we want to go home early. So the more different little things you can fix up now, the more answers you have to pronounce Checkmate on the next onslaught of why dont you come to live near us etc. you have a life where you are and friends and local knowledge to direct you whenever you need to do something. Friends are so important and I dont think people always realize how much it matters that they remember so many things about your life from years ago and they see you as that funny or well organised person or whatever and grey hair doesnt alter that .
I have moved ,rather sadly ,from my old home, but it was MY decision, as I could see what I might need in the future, and so I took time checking out what mattered to me and chose my own ground floor flat. It is still in the same area as my last house and I am very independant. and plan to be so until the last breath!! Remind your children that somehow you have managed to work out the way to live to the age you are now and as you have so many years of experience compared to them you will continue relying on your own common sense! Did you ever watch that series where Stephanie Cole played a woman in a rest home because she was physically not so good but was very feisty and had been a war correspondant and would not let anyone talk down to her? Well she must have been getting her ideas from me!! Keep on going folks and enjoy life while you can. Well tonight I am off to play board games in a local pub, and tomorrow play whist with a very keen group, no holds barred at a village hall , and I need to get going now as have some new songs to practise before I go out later on. Enjoy your home and good luck .
