Mum's cleaner gone missing!!!

Aveline

Not everyone is particularly socially skilled or articulate enough to explain their resignation. It was obviously easier to just not turn up. Leave it. She's clearly indicated that she's not coming back.

I agree with this. Also she may have found better paid work. Or enjoys the anonymity of cleaning the office. She might not have felt able to tell your Mum she didn’t want to work for her any more. There are all sorts of possible reasons so definitely just leave it and, as others have suggested, tell your Mum a little white lie to spare her feelings.

Sue2505

MorningMist and Lathyrus3 - When I said that she looks out for my Mum, this consisted of being at the end of the phone if mum ever had a problem (which she never did) but it gave me peace of mind as my brother lives almost 3 hours away. And the occasional errand was picking up her magazines on the way to the flat to do the cleaning (possibly 3 times) which she always paid extra for. This hardly counts as depending on her too much or taking advantage of her.

I think you and your cleaner saw “ being at the end of a phone if mum ever had a problem” very differently.

Obviously you don’t see it as much of an issue but your cleaner may have felt overwhelmed by the responsibility of being your mums first responder. Especially with you on holiday and your brother 3 hours away.

Just because your mum has never phoned her with a problem ( or emergency) isn’t relevant really. The cleaner was put in the position of being responsible for her well being and having to be the person who would have to take action and make decisions if anything went wrong.

I think there are very few people who would agree to take that upon themselves. It may have given you peace of mind but perhaps it worried your cleaner a lot?

If you honestly can’t see that it was a massive thing to ask of her, way beyond her job as a cleaner, then I can see why she felt she had to just leave rather than have a discussion where you couldn’t see her point of view.

I think if you ask this if a new cleaner they will almost certainly say no.

Maybe the fact this lady was 91 proved too much of a responsibility for the cleaner. One she didn’t want or need. Rather than tell your mother of her decision, which of course might cause upset face to face, she just stopped coming.

Lathyrus3 - My mum wasn't the oldest person she cleaned for and she was also a cleaner/carer for an old couple and she went to their home every morning to get the old gentleman washed and dressed, so she was used to taking on the responsibility of older people and their possible problems. And finally she was the one who made the offer to help out, if the need ever arose when we were away, neither my mum or I asked this of her.

Oh well, something happened that made her feel she didn’t want to come to your mum any more and that she doesn’t want to get involved in a discussion about it.

Nothing to do but look around for somebody else I guess.

🙂

Did your mum spend a lot of (unpaid for) time chatting to the cleaner, making her late for the next job?

Whatever the reason for leaving her cleaning job, the onus is on the cleaner to do the decent thing and give proper notice. She is the one at fault here, not the lady for whom she worked.