Why do some people refuse to go online?

TerriBull

I have a friend who started an on line Sainsbury's food shop for her mother during Covid and has continued because she doesn't use the internet. Mother is prone to say things like this, "after you finish at the meat counter, are you allowed to go back to where the cheese is? because I forgot that" the mother appears to think grocery shopping on line is set up like some virtual walk through

That’s reminded me of a friend who refuses to engage with technology unless she wants something.
I had some friends round when she asked me to order something for her.
To her credit she did show some interest in the procedure.
Then she asked how I paid for the items. my card is on there says I. She took the iPad and proceeded to examine it to see where I had put my card
It was embarrassing for all of us.

Casdon

Ultimately though AuntieE, it won’t be the bright new world, it will be ordinary life, and that day is very fast approaching. It’s all very well opting out of everyday life, if you have other people who are willing to do things on your behalf. However, if you can’t bank, shop or fill in a form for yourself, that is going to create a lot of work for other people to do on your behalf - and it’s quite likely that the people who eschew the bright new world are the same ones who have nobody to help them. I wonder what will happen to people who are now in their sixties and seventies who refuse to engage, I think their future will be very difficult if they don’t get on board.

That does come over to me as forcing people to do this - whether they want to or no.

Society - as a whole - has to accept that (for whatever reason) some people will not do the full (or even any) Internet bit and its Society's responsibility to make sure they can still do what they need to and function okay. Note I'm saying "Society" and not "individual people". It is not up to Society to try and force people to use things they've chosen not to (for whatever reason). It's their life...their business....their choice and they shouldnt be excluded just because they made one personal choice (that is theirs to make - and not Society's) rather than the one Society as a whole might have wanted them to make.

Society is supposed to be run for our benefit - and not vice-versa.

Lots of useful information maps connect with people,

But if you wanted to travel everywhere by horse-drawn carriage, you might have to accept that your life may be more difficult than using public transport or car.

CariadAgain

Casdon

Ultimately though AuntieE, it won’t be the bright new world, it will be ordinary life, and that day is very fast approaching. It’s all very well opting out of everyday life, if you have other people who are willing to do things on your behalf. However, if you can’t bank, shop or fill in a form for yourself, that is going to create a lot of work for other people to do on your behalf - and it’s quite likely that the people who eschew the bright new world are the same ones who have nobody to help them. I wonder what will happen to people who are now in their sixties and seventies who refuse to engage, I think their future will be very difficult if they don’t get on board.

That does come over to me as forcing people to do this - whether they want to or no.

Society - as a whole - has to accept that (for whatever reason) some people will not do the full (or even any) Internet bit and its Society's responsibility to make sure they can still do what they need to and function okay. Note I'm saying "Society" and not "individual people". It is not up to Society to try and force people to use things they've chosen not to (for whatever reason). It's their life...their business....their choice and they shouldnt be excluded just because they made one personal choice (that is theirs to make - and not Society's) rather than the one Society as a whole might have wanted them to make.

Society is supposed to be run for our benefit - and not vice-versa.

But that is exactly what’s happening already CariadAgain, we are being pushed down a route where everything will be online. From the perspective of businesses, the point will come when a minimal number of people will not use technology, which will tip the balance. I’m not saying that with any relish, but all young people use technology, it’s the future whether we like it or not, and it is already increasingly difficult to opt out. I believe that in about 20 years time the expectation will be that people who can’t access technology themselves will seek help from those who can, rather than there being the opportunity to not engage.

Galaxy

But if you wanted to travel everywhere by horse-drawn carriage, you might have to accept that your life may be more difficult than using public transport or car.

Whilst I get the comparison - I'd say the cut-off line as to what can reasonably (or not) be expected is "If something is there/the norm/etc by the time one reaches adulthood - then it's a normal part of one's Society and one learns to use it/regards it as the norm etc".

But - if one has got a noticeable distance into adulthood before something comes along and gets regarded as the norm = it's your personal choice as to whether to use it or no.

So, for instance, I've learnt to a certain (limited) extent to use computers. I tried to learn to drive (basically failed - as my mind just doesnt work that way).

On the other hand - there are inventions I can picture clearly and am waiting for them to be invented - so that I can use them (as that's my choice). I had to wait about 2 years before one thing I was waiting to use had been invented and was on the market and bought it. I'm still waiting for a medical type invention to be invented/have been waiting years to date....and think they might possibly have now come up with the prototype and if/when they do I'll be straight on it (ie because I've been waiting for it).

It is entirely our choice whether to adapt to something new to us since we turned adult - or just think "Well if other people want it - they can have it. But I don't....and so I'll keep doing what I'm doing currently".

Not just women a male friend of mine has never had a credit card or sent an email or had a mobile phone. Then his wife died, he now has a mobile phone and a credit card but relies on his daughter for everything else.

I recall knowing one person who didn't have a television. She nevee really explained why but I used to go on about all the wonderful and informative things I had watched.

I recall when the banks closed and railing against having to use internet banking- swearing I would never use it, but now I love it!

I don't understand why OP's friend needs the postcode in the first place- but they came into use long before the internet.
How did people used to find things in the 'bad' old days? Just ring her up and give her the address!

some people are afraid of technology, 10 years ago i took my laptop with me when i went to visit him, we had not seen each other in over 30 years, i wanted to show him pictures of my family, the following year i was going to stay at his house for a few weeks, he asked me not to bring my laptop, i found out that he thought the laptop would spy on him, nothing i said would convince him otherwise, he had nothing wrong with his mind or brain, he just thought technology was wrong and somehow it was spying on him, he had to get a mobile phone, the one he was using was a very old nokia and he would never learn to text, he would make a call then turn it off, i even bought him a kindle as he was an avid reader, he gave me it back. he was never going to change, sadly he died last month.

i meant to say my dad.

But, life moves on. We now have cars, planes, trains, electric lights,indoor plumbing etc etc.

It depends Cariad, online banking was introduced when I was well past entering adulthood, but I use it all the time. With the significant reduction of high street banks, closure of some rural post offices and significant reduction of commerce accepting cheques people do have a choice. But that choice could be embrace the change or come to terms with significant difficulty managing your banking for some.

I don't understand why OP's friend needs the postcode in the first place

OP explained upthread. She wants to give it to a taxi driver for his satnav.

kittylester

But, life moves on. We now have cars, planes, trains, electric lights,indoor plumbing etc etc.

😂😂 👏👏👏

Lathyrus3

It’s a bit like people who don’t drive and expect you to give lifts instead of using a cab.

That was exactly my thought

Several years ago my dad (he died last year) decided to buy a tablet and had broadband installed. He used to read the papers and kept up to date with his local snooker club. Then he had a scam phone call saying there was a problem with his broadband etc. He got so annoyed he decided to terminate his broadband and never used the internet again. A few years later he told me he regretted his decision but by then he was quite ill and felt it was too late to bother. It was a shame becuase he had plenty of grandchildren who were only too happy to give him a few lessons.

I'm not very tech minded but I've kept up to date with the internet etc because it's just part of day to day life now.

PaynesGrey

^I don't understand why OP's friend needs the postcode in the first place^

OP explained upthread. She wants to give it to a taxi driver for his satnav.

Couldn't they just phone the restaurant and ask them for the postcode and parking information?

I'm in the "each to their own" camp here.
I'm digital only as absolutely necessary.
Both OH and I have very light digital footprints but nevertheless we repeatedly get scam emails.
Scamming makes my blood boil as I'm sure it does everyone.
I honestly don't know what I'd do if someone else was trying to make me their digital slave.
Hasn't happened yet thank God.

Because they choose not to. My dad was adamant he wasn’t going to use a computer and he never did so. Mum asked my nephew to set her up with one and she loved trawling the internet for all manner of information although she never entertained online banking.

I’m not very tech minded but it’s increasingly difficult to avoid using on line banking and more. I still prefer paper boarding passes, theatre tickets eyc

My friend and ex neighbour, her reluctance to engage with technology was infuriating.

I tried so many times to help her but she was so stubborn.

We ended up doing so much for her, she was one of the reasons we moved.

Jaxjacky

It depends Cariad, online banking was introduced when I was well past entering adulthood, but I use it all the time. With the significant reduction of high street banks, closure of some rural post offices and significant reduction of commerce accepting cheques people do have a choice. But that choice could be embrace the change or come to terms with significant difficulty managing your banking for some.

I don't do online banking personally - mainly because I don't trust it as to whether thieves could get into it. Most of my bills are on direct monthly debit and I pay for the odd thing with a credit card and then pay that off monthly.

One of the plus sides of the area I live in is it's still a "cash culture" to a large extent - I can only think of one place where they demand card payment. Everywhere else will take card and/or cash.

The bank part is problematic - as I was used to my bank being in the High Street and walking into it any time I went through the city centre and needed access to it. I've not got that any more - as there was a branch in town I'm now in - but it had gone before I got here and so I'd have to go to a bigger town (choice of 2) to get to a branch physically. Fortunately, it's something I rarely need to do and I get my cash from the post office locally or there's a "corner shop" I could get some or stop going along with Tesco pretending they don't give cash back any longer (oh yes they do - but one has to go to a customer service checkpoint there to get it - as they don't do it on the tills any longer. Reason - because they're trying to pretend they don't do it any longer).

It suited me to open an account with that Welsh building society - which has a branch nearby and specifically only operate with cash and cheques still deliberately - because of the refusal of many of their customers to do otherwise I gather and they won't take payment by card or phone. So I asked them the other day and turns out that, for the very occasional cheque any of us still get these days, they will pay a cheque in our name into our account with them. Wish I'd thought of that sooner - but it saves a stamp sending it back to my original city branch (as I won't go to one of those two bigger towns if I can help it - as it's a right hassle on one of the infrequent buses here).

Basically - I manage 99% of things in this town in the way I have decided to.

When it comes to tradesmen here - none of them seem to have card machines. But 99% of them take cash or a cheque. I've only had a problem with a surveyor visit one time - as he only does online banking and we landed up with agreeing I'd pay him half in cash and half by cheque (fortunately I know at least some people can pay in any cheques they get over their phone - rather than having to go to a branch of their bank).

With this town being well-known as being what many would call "behind the times" - then I would think I'll be okay for the estimated 10 years I'm due to have left statistically speaking (ie from 72 to 82). If I wanted a long life then I might be more worried - but I don't....so 10 years it is basically.

Suggest to Cousin that she look up the restaurant's number in the telephone directory, and phones to ask for their post code.

I've just had a form to fill in, I could do it online or by post. You need to find a consult form to see my doctor but if you haven't got internet you can go in or phone and the receptionist will do it for you. My library also has a session where they will help with online things if you haven't got internet. I used the internet but there are ways round it.

Lathyrus3

Norah

Slightly off topic.

Before being critical of non drivers - remember the costs to purchase, insurance, MOT, repairs, petrol, parking, yearly decline in value.

We still drive, however at a significant cost.

Taxis could be a reasonable alternative.

Not critical of non drivers.

More critical of those who expect some else to bear all those costs and give up their time to give lifts.

I wish people would read what I’ve actually written.

Apologies if you felt I was critical.

I was, in fact, allowing people may consider costs to driving...