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Unexpected gifts.

(38 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Tue 23-Dec-25 12:34:23

I've just heard that a friend is dropping off gifts this morning and has one for me from her neighbour who I have only met a couple of times. I have wrapped up some shortbread and a nice jam to send her. Is that enough?

Why do people do this?

grandMattie Tue 23-Dec-25 12:40:17

Plenty.
I suspect it’s a form of showing off, possibly wanting more presents themselves or genuine kindness.
Sorry to be such a cynic

Magenta8 Tue 23-Dec-25 12:53:16

When I was still working, we used to do a Secret Santa at Christmas and it was agreed that we would spend no more than £5.00.

We used to draw the names at random beforehand so we knew who we were buying for in advance.

One year I received a Bodyshop selection which must have cost at least £15.00 and it made me feel bad as I had bought a keyring costing £4.99 as my contribution.

RosieandherMaw Tue 23-Dec-25 12:57:39

grandMattie

Plenty.
I suspect it’s a form of showing off, possibly wanting more presents themselves or genuine kindness.
Sorry to be such a cynic

I’d go with the kindness motivation, not the “showing off” one or wanting more presents themselves, @GrandMattie

Calendargirl Tue 23-Dec-25 13:17:10

The neighbour of a friend who you have only met a couple of times

I really don’t think I would have given her anything.

So do you then get a box of chocolates or biscuits for her next year, in case…..?

And so the present giving churns on…

Lathyrus3 Tue 23-Dec-25 13:39:57

Depends what the unexpected present is really.

Ve just made some Xmas fudge. I’ll take a few pieces round with the neighbours Christmas card this afternoon. No ulterior motive, showing off or feeling superior. Just fudge because I fancied making it.

A pot of homemade jam, a festive bookmark from a friend with a new sewing machine, a few snowdrops in a flower pot. These are a few unexpected gifts I’ve received. Sandy ve taken them in the same spirit as my fudge😬

Lathyrus3 Tue 23-Dec-25 13:41:03

And I’ve.

No idea who Sandy is, but she can have some fudge too……….

RosieandherMaw Tue 23-Dec-25 13:44:59

Calendargirl

^The neighbour of a friend who you have only met a couple of times^

I really don’t think I would have given her anything.

So do you then get a box of chocolates or biscuits for her next year, in case…..?

And so the present giving churns on…

And what is wrong with that?
Christmas is about giving

Esmay Tue 23-Dec-25 14:59:33

I try to keep supplies in just in case someone buys me an unexpected gift .
I used to make jewellery and collect costume jewellery so if the gift giver is a lady it's no problem for me .

Calendargirl Tue 23-Dec-25 21:33:14

Christmas is about giving

But in certain cases, it ends up as ‘tit for tat’ giving’.

This example being a case in point, the OP said ‘Why do people do this?’, meaning that she felt obliged to buy a gift.

But if that’s what others choose to do, fine.

To me, rather pointless though.

Sadgrandma Wed 24-Dec-25 07:51:34

We have a neighbour who delivers a present to every family in our small close on Christmas Eve. This has been going on for the thirty odd years that we have lived here. I do wish she wouldn’t. Every year, at the last minute I suddenly remember that I haven’t bought her anything, so last minute panic!

RosieandherMaw Wed 24-Dec-25 09:05:25

How kind of her!
As she’s been doing it for so many years how hard would it be to have a small box of truffles or a pot plant ready for her?

Calendargirl Wed 24-Dec-25 10:58:03

I do wish she wouldn’t

If she’s been doing it for 30 odd years though, I think even I would have a box of chocs or biscuits ready to hand over, however pointless it seems.

Sadgrandma Wed 24-Dec-25 11:05:37

You misunderstand me, I do always buy her something but I often suddenly remember at the last minute. She doesn’t just buy for us but for everyone in the close whereas a card would be quite sufficient.

Calendargirl Wed 24-Dec-25 12:20:09

I quite agree that a card would be sufficient Sadgrandma.

Does she maybe have no one else to buy for, so it gives her pleasure?

If she has others to buy for, however, I too, wonder why she does it.

Sadgrandma Wed 24-Dec-25 14:38:04

Yes she has a lovely family. I just worry that it has become such a tradition for her that is probably hard to stop now.

BlueBelle Wed 24-Dec-25 14:47:22

Why do you think it’s showing off maybe she just wants to spread good vibes
I often think I like giving every bit as much or more than receiving
Let her have her give and take with good grace

Allira Wed 24-Dec-25 15:15:13

Lathyrus3

And I’ve.

No idea who Sandy is, but she can have some fudge too……….

I do know Sandy so I can pass it on to her if you like wink
Although I'd better taste-test it first.

Perhaps she's made tiny Christmas cakes, some mince pies or even fudge kircubbin which she likes to share.
Otherwise it seems odd.

Georgesgran Wed 24-Dec-25 16:01:22

My Sister in Law is a shopaholic Calendargirl. I think she buys for everyman and his dog! She was very upset a few years ago, when I suggested reining in the spending, but now with 2 unmarried sons in their 50’s, she’s taken over buying all their gifts for them and even distributes them locally.

Sadgrandma Wed 24-Dec-25 23:01:22

BlueBelle

Why do you think it’s showing off maybe she just wants to spread good vibes
I often think I like giving every bit as much or more than receiving
Let her have her give and take with good grace

I don’t recall saying that I thought she was showing off, far from it. She is a lovely person with a good heart. I now wish I’d mentioned it on here.
Happy Christmas

polnan Fri 26-Dec-25 13:47:05

not presents exactly, but a small church group I belong to, several of us said we not doing cards, one of them still sent a card to me, signed "fondest love" and then sent a text saying "thankyou for the Christmas Card" I can only assume being sarcastic? yes, I did say a church group

NotSpaghetti Fri 26-Dec-25 13:51:01

Calendargirl

^I do wish she wouldn’t^

If she’s been doing it for 30 odd years though, I think even I would have a box of chocs or biscuits ready to hand over, however pointless it seems.

Calendargirl
gringringrin

BlueBelle Fri 26-Dec-25 13:51:45

Sadgrandma I didn’t think it was showing off at all
It was Grandematte who said
I suspect it’s a form of showing off further up the thread

Not me m’lord

NotSpaghetti Fri 26-Dec-25 13:54:54

I love these tiny tokens...
I love giving them most - but even a poinsettia (which is pointless as far as I can see) will be kindly received!

Small gestures are just like passing on a little of your own happiness.

Fudge, jam, a few snowdrops, narcissus, olives or biscuits...

alisonsmith4 Fri 26-Dec-25 15:00:35

It’s a gift - not a transaction!