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Buying gifts for random babies

(42 Posts)
Astitchintime Mon 29-Dec-25 09:24:53

I met a friend of mine for a coffee just before Christmas, we had planned to meet as we were both shopping in town at the time.

When we were sat in the cafe, the friend was showing me a few of her purchases and she took an item out of her bag and said ‘I bought this for xxxx grandson, isn’t it lovely, what are you giving him?’

I was rather surprised as neither of us are particularly close to xxxx and only ever see her at a particular monthly charity meeting which we all support throughout the year.

I told my friend that I’m not buying for a baby that I’ve never met, have no connection to the parents and I actually suspect that my friend only did it to ‘buy her way closer’ to xxxx, although I didn’t actually say so at the time.

My question is, would you buy for a random baby based on the fact that you see its GM once a month, hardly ever speak to her, and have no connection to said family?

Florence2 Tue 30-Dec-25 16:16:06

I’ve recently bought a baby gift for my daughter’s best friend, however I haven’t received a thank you at all (text would have been fine), it’s rather put me off doing it again. Manners cost nothing.

Rainnsnow Tue 30-Dec-25 17:22:16

It’s a northern thing to buy for babies even with a tenuous link . As long as no strings attached it’s fine.

Astitchintime Tue 30-Dec-25 17:22:23

Thank you all for sharing your opinions and experiences……..as I stated, I am sure it is my friends way of buying herself a position in xxxx’s social circle for want of a better description. Quite why she feels the need just beggars belief to be honest. We’ve never seen the baby, have no connection to the family concerned and only meet up as a local charity support group. But it does worry me a little that people can be taken advantage of because of their nature.

Knittypamela Tue 30-Dec-25 17:52:04

I've just knitted a sweater for my daughter's neighbours baby. My daughter often asks me to knit for people I don't know. I don't mind as I love to knit.

NotAGran55 Tue 30-Dec-25 17:58:11

I wouldn’t, as I wouldn’t know what they had already and what they liked.

Etoile2701 Tue 30-Dec-25 18:12:59

No I don't think I would.

Lesley60 Tue 30-Dec-25 18:54:18

fancyflowers

This wasn't a random baby, it was my sister's granddaughter.

I bought two baby dresses, and spent ages knitting a pram blanket with picot edging.

I also bought a pram toy and 3 babygros.

Not a word of thanks from the parents. I was so annoyed that I haven't bought any further gifts for the baby

I know what you mean a text saying thank you costs nothing, I bought my grandson, his partner and gave their children money not as much as a text from him saying thank you
So there will be no presents for him and his partner next year I shall give the children money but that’s all

Lahlah65 Tue 30-Dec-25 19:23:53

MayBee70

I think that people like buying baby things and perhaps want an excuse to buy them.

Ha ha - this is me….luckily I now have 2 DGC so no need to buy for random babies I hardly know!

Tenko Tue 30-Dec-25 19:45:51

It would depend on how well I know the gran or or the new mum/dad . I have bought gifts for friends new dgc if I know the new mum/dad But I wouldn’t if I didn’t know the parents , which seems to be the case for the OP

crazyH Tue 30-Dec-25 20:06:14

No, not unless I know the mother/father personally.

WelshPoppy Tue 30-Dec-25 21:31:51

Close friends if I know their children well, yes I would. Someone i see very occasionally with no contact with their children, no I wouldn't. I enjoy crocheting and to a lesser degree, knitting, I'm usually making a baby blanket, hat or jacket so I've usually got something ready to go if needed.

petalpete Tue 30-Dec-25 21:32:26

No, its to personal as young Mothers already have thier own ideas from before birth. I dislike being bought anything other than a coffee of which I am happy to return the gesture. Will you then be expected to buy christening/birthday/christmas presents. Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue. Some think of it as a way of including you in their family, don't be embarrassed by not wishing to.

ReadyMeals Tue 30-Dec-25 21:37:12

I wouldnt, but it sounds like your friend gets pleasure from shopping for baby clothes so that might have been a motivation

RVK1CR Thu 01-Jan-26 03:53:30

Astitchintime

I met a friend of mine for a coffee just before Christmas, we had planned to meet as we were both shopping in town at the time.

When we were sat in the cafe, the friend was showing me a few of her purchases and she took an item out of her bag and said ‘I bought this for xxxx grandson, isn’t it lovely, what are you giving him?’

I was rather surprised as neither of us are particularly close to xxxx and only ever see her at a particular monthly charity meeting which we all support throughout the year.

I told my friend that I’m not buying for a baby that I’ve never met, have no connection to the parents and I actually suspect that my friend only did it to ‘buy her way closer’ to xxxx, although I didn’t actually say so at the time.

My question is, would you buy for a random baby based on the fact that you see its GM once a month, hardly ever speak to her, and have no connection to said family?

No definitely not. IF I had spare money I would support animal charities more. I didn't get any presents and I didn't have anyone to give to.

GoodAfternoonTea Thu 01-Jan-26 08:58:34

Not at all. I was once on a tour with an American lady from New York who bought gifts for her dentist, doctor, neighbour, bin man, postman, etc. She was really rather excited as she bought the gifts. Perhaps it gave her pleasure to give rather than receive. I am rubbish at receiving presents. I am very gracious on receipt and send thank you notes but no one really knows what I like and my tastes are very specific. Gift giving is an art in itself.

CariadAgain Thu 01-Jan-26 09:39:30

Depends on the circumstances. I'm not someone that buys for babies basically.

The one and only time I did so was when a work colleague I very vaguely knew (ie we had little to do with each other - though she seemed pleasant from what I could see) got pregnant. She'd got all the right circumstances - married/owned a house with her husband/had been trying for literally years and I caught her crying her eyes out in the work loo one time - and she told me she'd just found out that yet again she still wasnt pregnant (as she was hoping so much to be). This was quite some years after getting married. Cue for trying to be as comforting as I could (not easy for someone who had to spin things totally on their heads compared to my own way of thinking - set solid against having children ever myself).

Couple of months later - same again....caught her crying in the loos for the same reason again. More sympathy and tissues. I've often wondered one way or another (ie I decided to try to surreptitiously beaming "healing vibes" at her - and hoped she didnt notice).

Couple of months later..........and there she was walking into my office saying "I've come to tell you first - because you understood how I felt (which is odd considering I know how much you DON'T want children yourself)". I literally didnt have a moment doubt it would work out okay - even though the pregnancy had only just started. Out I went - and bought a present suitable for a 3-4 year old child - as I thought "Everyone else will be buying baby things - but I'll buy for a future - as this child will happen and will grow up okay".

Sure enough - a perfectly healthy child got born. Last seen brought into work to show her off when she was well up into primary school age.