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What to wear to a funeral

(56 Posts)
Mazgg Wed 31-Dec-25 18:02:56

My dsil's Mum died at the weekend and I will be attending the funeral next week. I haven't got a black winter coat and don't really want to buy one. Would it be appropriate to wear a dark purple (not at all bright) wool coat with black trousers, and black scarf and gloves?

cc Sun 04-Jan-26 14:00:54

My "best" outfit is a very old purple Jean Muir trouser suit with a long Nehru jacket and have never felt out of place in it, be it at funerals or weddings. I've an assortment of simple tops to wear undneath depending on the occasion.
Some people do request that nobody wears black to their funeral now, of course.

annehinckley Sun 04-Jan-26 13:47:07

My sister and I both wore black and purple for our mother's funeral-we hadn't planned to coordinate!
Purple is an accepted mourning colour.

Norah Thu 01-Jan-26 12:53:11

Yes, purple would be appropriate.

friendlygingercat Thu 01-Jan-26 12:52:30

I think there is a lot of angst about what to wear at funerals. Unless you are attending the funeral of a head of state the rulesnow is that almost anything goes except something overtly sexy or sports clothing. If you are not a close family member - say a work colleague or neighbour - then whatever would be considered acceptable for work would be ok. I dont want anyone at my fuuneral so no one will have to make such a decision.

Whitewavemark2 Thu 01-Jan-26 12:49:23

The reason I never wear black is vanity tbh.

I would vie with the corpse. Black drains me entirely of any colour.

Allira Thu 01-Jan-26 12:39:08

Whitewavemark2

I have a navy silk dress for summer funerals, and a dark green woollen dress for winter.

I never wear black.

My SisIL never wore black.
She wore navy to funerals, including DB's.

Whitewavemark2 Thu 01-Jan-26 12:35:32

I have a navy silk dress for summer funerals, and a dark green woollen dress for winter.

I never wear black.

fancythat Thu 01-Jan-26 12:17:08

Yes to the op.

I do find that areas can vary somewhat.
I can get caught out sometimes by having gone too black, or the other way around.

Allira Thu 01-Jan-26 12:10:15

You could ask if there is a preferred choice, I've been to a couple of funerals recently where everyone was wearing something blue (for Alzheimer's) or at least the forgetmenot flower badge.
Another family had requested mourners wear something red (can't remember the reason). They tended to wear a red scarf or top.

I'm sure your dark purple coat will be fine, purple is a colour of mourning.

Oreo Thu 01-Jan-26 11:25:02

I think black, purple, grey are all fine and respectful.

M0nica Thu 01-Jan-26 09:49:25

The need to wear black at a funeral seems to have completely disappeared. I have been to several funerals recently whee people just came in their ordinary clothes.

To wear black unless, you had close links to the deceased and, of course, in this case you do, was considered excessive.

Marydoll Thu 01-Jan-26 09:47:57

I have been to three funerals in the last two weeks. Not everyone wore black. No need to buy a new coat.

Willow11 Thu 01-Jan-26 09:38:58

I was at my mum's funeral and to be honest I couldn't tell you what anyone wore.
Just pleased that they attended to show their respect.

What you have described is perfect

Visgir1 Thu 01-Jan-26 09:24:23

Think you need to ask the family for their choice, doubt it will be Black.

Magenta8 Thu 01-Jan-26 09:11:15

I have been to quite a few funerals where bright coloured clothes were requested and some where people wore dark clothing but never has deep mourning black been stipulated.
I went to one where white or pale pastel colours were requested.

GoodAfternoonTea Thu 01-Jan-26 09:00:13

I always think sober clothing unless it specifies bright colours and life celebration in the funeral notes.

cornergran Thu 01-Jan-26 00:26:18

It sounds fine to me. Don’t worry.

Shelflife Wed 31-Dec-25 23:11:22

Of course your choice of clothing is fine.

Mazgg Wed 31-Dec-25 18:33:11

Thank you all for your reassurance.

Astitchintime Wed 31-Dec-25 18:26:24

Of course, you’ll look perfectly respectable and respectful.

grandMattie Wed 31-Dec-25 18:23:30

Purple, navy, black, grey. But it depends on the family.

For the funerals of both my son then my husband people wore colours.

ferry23 Wed 31-Dec-25 18:18:33

Sounds perfect - as someone has said upthread - purple is an accepted mourning colour.

Pantglas2 Wed 31-Dec-25 18:13:34

I always think dark colours are acceptable unless the message is celebratory multi colour outfits are wished for by the family.

I’ve been to one and was terrified that I’d be the only person standing out…I wasn’t and we all looked glorious!

Crossstitchfan Wed 31-Dec-25 18:13:13

I wore just about what you described to the funeral of a friend. To my surprise, I found that many mourners there were dressed just like I was! I think purple is taking over from black, and a good thing too!
So yes. You’ll be fine.

Fallingstar Wed 31-Dec-25 18:10:44

Have been to a fair few funerals in the past few years and black has never been the required colour though darker clothes tend to dominate though at one funeral we were asked to wear bright colours. Unless black is stipulated I think you will be fine.