How do your teenage grandchildren behave towards you?

My 15 year old DGS always greets me with a big hug then sits & discusses bands that we both like & F1 which we both follow. When I leave I get another big hug & he always says I Love You! My DS does join in the conversations as we all have the same tastes. Maybe my DGS is an odd one out but I think he is wonderful & love him to bits! Considering I am now 81 I think we are doing ok 😄

I'd agree with the people saying give it time. I remember my own boy as a teenager. He was the most wonderful child, so happy, communicative and confident before hitting puberty. I remember being mortally embarrassed when he suddenly seem to change into this non-communicative person who could be quite surly. Fast forward to his twenties and he is wonderfully chatty at the end of the telephone, invites us up to see him and gets on with almost everyone.
It is considered that boys are unlikely to have completely matured emotionally and socially until they are at least 22 which I think sounds about right from my experience.

fancyflowers

I recently made a 200 mile trip to see my daughter and grandchildren. The elder 16 year old boy, although he gave me a hug, was c very surly when I spoke to her him.

I was quite upset by this, even though his mum apologized for his behaviour.

Is this the norm for teenage boys? Does it get better as they get older?

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Aren't teenage boy's surly with everyone?!!
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Following on from MOnica's thread, the sketch that always slayed me was Dave Allan's, referring to the Neanderthal grunts of his teenage son and his friends. I am afraid that I don't know how to send a link. Fortunately, I did not see much of that behaviour, as son and daughters all boarded! Poor housemaster!

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Why can't you Edit on this website (and do a thumbs up or down if you want give an opinion without writing a screed). So annoying.

Anyway, I didn't check before sending and the dreaded algorithm decided it knew better than me what I wanted to write. Which was .....

Aren't teenage boys surly with everyone?
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15/16 year old boys are notorious for surly, poor behaviour. They think they know everything. Mine decided he didn’t want to live with us any longer. I packed his bag, left it at the front door and said “see you”. He went out and came back 5 minutes later . He is now a fund manager earning a fortune and treats us well.

Teenagers are notoriously awkward and abrupt, especially mid teens. Not really children, not yet adults, hormones still raging, thinking about girls/football/mates/gaming, it could be anything and is entirely normal.

Please don’t worry.

Can’t really say much as when we visit they say ‘ hi’ then disappear!

Mine treat me respectfully, but don’t engage in conversation much.

When I asked my son why they were like that, he said they were probably shy. I understand that and don’t really mind.
They are lovely lads though.

Kate1949 - aren’t you and your DH lucky to be invited on a holiday with your GD and partner. I agree she is a real sweetheart. And I bet you are fun grandparents !

I fully anticipate ‘dropping off the edge’ at some point whilst my grandsons’ brains are remodelling! Hopefully we’ll meld back as we are now when they get to the other side.

Our three grandchildren, one girl and three boys range from 20 to 13 and are all mostly non grunters. At least I always get a hug and they often ask if they can come for a sleepover, possibly because they know I will spoil them and cook their favourite meal. Reading this thread makes me wonder if we were permitted to be grunters. It certainly wouldn’t have been tolerated at my boarding school or at home.

Yes... remember yourown when they were teens!

Quite normal, our 16 year old grandson comes to say hello to us and gives us a hug when we visit but then disappears back to his room. Granddaughter who will be 11 this year has already started not wanting to spend much time with us. I seem to remember being the same in my early teens but hopefully they grow out of it and return to spending time with you.

My eleven year old grandson is very effusive and still very smiley, he's a bit of a Harry Potter lookalike at the moment, wears the round specs, and he does know how to get round me. I hope he doesn't literally morph overnight into "Kevin". His sister 15, swings between very talkative and mono syllabic but to be expected, hormones! Casting my mind back I think I was just like that too. She comes alive when demonstrating dance moves, her passion, which she's good at, far more co-ordination than I ever had.

I remember the grandchildren from my o/h's first marriage being born, in fact they arrived just a few years after our own children, now all delightful twenties and early thirties. In fact the eldest, just a mere 3 years younger than our youngest son, has just given my husband his first great grandchild. They live in New York but are coming back later in the year, so he's looking forward to meeting the new baby. I do however remember some of their monumental screaming matches they had with each other as teenagers, and the occasional gladiatorial battle, and they're girls Which surprised me because we have boys and they' never really had any fisty cuff fights. Although they've made up for it in other ways, one in particular was a very difficult teenager and the other just became pretty mono syllabic. Now when he phones, I can hardly get a word in and we can talk for hours and like me he is an avid reader but reads quite a lot of non fiction so is always asking me for recommendations fiction wise. He walked off with some books when he was here a week or so ago to take me out for Mother's Day I sent him back with "The Women" for his girlfriend which she loved and some of my William Boyd's, he messaged me the other day to say "all the books I've ever pointed him towards have been fantastic" That made me happy.

The teenage years are rarely a joy to experience either for the teenagers themselves or their parents. You just have to get through it and tell yourself nothing is forever!

I have two teenage grandchildren, boy is 18/19 but has been like that since his teens, hopefully coming through it, speaks when he feels like it, granddaughter just 16 and half, been through it, now quite loving, not that we are a huggy family, well her mum,dil is but rest boys... not so... doesn`t mean there is no love there though.

I certainly remember my youngest son not wanting anything to do with us, his parents, at that age but both he and his elder brother were very close to my parents and loved spending time with them at all ages not so much their other grandparents who didn't live near us.

Now said youngest son lives in NZ with sons of his own (10 & 12) who haven't actually spoken to us in months despite sending them regular pocket money and money for birthdays, Christmas and Easter etc and leave it to their dad to acknowledge they've received it. It's very sad but unfortunately we accept we are not part of their lives and hope that at some point they will get to an age where they will find it good to talk to us.

Our adult DGD's on the other hand are and have always been very close despite living 3 hours away - the eldest has recently made us GGP and sends weekly batches of photos showing how baby is growing which is lovely and the youngest is coming to stay this week with her fiance.

I wouldn't get too hung up on Mr Grumpy - he'll quickly grow into a loving young man who enjoys seeing his Grandma and won't remember how rude his behaviour seemed

youtu.be/ufTkRLESCkE?si=o5rjGNeHuj4W0ohh

dalrymple23 here's Dave Allen 😁

Grandson no.1 on the Autistic Spectrum was never really one for hugs etc (although when he was an infant he was okay). Started being Monty early…when he was 12!!! When he was at ours he used to disappear upstairs and didn’t really see him - not to bad but then he would get argumentative, so much so, we stopped picking him up from school… 18 months later, he’s changed for the better. Although still no hugs, he will talk to me. In fact only last night had a missed FaceTime from 2nd Grandson… confirmed today by 1st… 10 minutes later FaceTime off Son… No. 1 Grandson wants to come up, unfortunately we’re not home… No. 2 Grandson aged 10 loves hugs and love you’s… will definitely miss those.

Abominably, ruined them as children , constantly minding them when parents split up, then when eldest grandaughter got married june 2023 without even inviting us it was devastating my dear husband died 2 months later, no forgiveness

GS1 is now 16. He went through a period when he wasn’t sure of his own voice and so didn’t say much. He seems to be coming out the other side now that his vocal cords are more reliable.
Hugs on the other hand? Definitely brief and never in public!

My 16 year old grandson is very chatty and gives great hugs. He’s sister not so huggy and chatty.

The DGC, twins 15 next week, who live with us with DD, are lovely to us. DGD is quiet but huggy, DGS doesn’t do hugs but is very chatty, particularly about world events and politics. He does, however, call us the ‘elderlies’ which I don’t mind as it is done with love!

I have a grandson now in his early twenties and I can honestly say he has never been surly with me. He is a good conversationalist and we have many good chats always have had. He visits me through choice and is very apologetic if I haven't seen him, but it's usually when he's been doing extra work. He has sometimes taken me out for a meal just the two of us and that's lovely.
HOWEVER, his sister, my gorgeous granddaughter who is still at school is different. She is lovely, and will always have a word but we don't seem to have the same closeness, She has a few words and I get a hug then she disappears to her room, but as other posters have said same I feel better about hearing that. Thought it was just me.

it's the age thing,,,when our son was that age his dad just could do nothing right, now he can't do enough for his dad and I.