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How do your teenage grandchildren behave towards you?

(72 Posts)
fancyflowers Thu 26-Mar-26 05:06:06

I recently made a 200 mile trip to see my daughter and grandchildren. The elder 16 year old boy, although he gave me a hug, was c very surly when I spoke to her him.

I was quite upset by this, even though his mum apologized for his behaviour.

Is this the norm for teenage boys? Does it get better as they get older?

BlueBelle Thu 26-Mar-26 05:49:49

Give it time mine are all in their twenties now and everyone is a star who seemingly loves their old Nan
I don’t see them all that often as they are spread around the world but five out of seven keep in regular touch for which I m very thankful. (Two born in NZ I don’t know that well so its birthdays and Christmas)
Sixteen year old boys are notoriously dour towards adults he was probably thinking about how quickly he could get out to see the latest girlfriend, or his mates or get on social media or a game Don’t take it seriously he will become human again give it a few more years

V3ra Thu 26-Mar-26 05:59:37

We used to call that age "grunt mode," and yes they do grow out of it, don't take it personally. At least you got a hug!
Just concentrate on seeing and talking to your daughter and the other child/ren for now when you visit.

luluaugust Thu 26-Mar-26 07:23:55

Can only agree, not unusual at that age. Our 15 year old says hello and then hangs around a bit before disappearing to his room. The older GC are much more sociable

kittylester Thu 26-Mar-26 07:32:10

We only have 1 grandson of that age and he is nothing like that. But, the 3 older ones did go through that phase. Those 3 are fabulous now - messaging and coming round of their own volition. So, hang in there.

Grannybags Thu 26-Mar-26 07:40:44

Yes definitely an age thing. Especially for boys I think

Sarnia Thu 26-Mar-26 07:52:35

Harry Enfield's 'Kevin'. Why speak when a grunt will do?

Cabbie21 Thu 26-Mar-26 07:57:57

My 18 year old grandson was a bit grumpy and grunty at 16 but last Christmas at the end of the day he said, without any prompting, what a lovely day he had had, “ not about the presents, but being with his family”. That included me, so no complaints there!

Ashcombe Thu 26-Mar-26 08:07:14

My grandson is nearly 16 and has gone through that awkward phase and come out the other side being mature and communicative. A school trip to South Africa last year, when he had to share rooms with older boys, seemed to be the turning point.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 26-Mar-26 08:08:34

I have our teen GS’s on WhatsApp, message them a couple of times a week (just short messages) they respond.

Always get big hugs and they are pleased to see me (us)

We had four boys, it’s just a phase

fiorentina51 Thu 26-Mar-26 08:24:29

My 13 year old grandsons are just entering the "grunty" stage. I get a hug and a smile, then they vanish. Their older brother, now 19, went through it and came out the other side, so I'm anticipating much the same with them. 🤞

M0nica Thu 26-Mar-26 08:41:46

Have you never seen the comedy sketch 'Kevin becomes a teenager' ? I recommend watching it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLuEY6jN6gY

Grammaretto Thu 26-Mar-26 08:46:20

My own 3 boys went through it and my 18yr old DGS is hopefully coming out the other side. He's spending his gap year abroad. His DM has been complaining about him for a couple of years asking me if his dad was ever as rude. 😕

His DSis is almost 16, always polite but I seldom see her apart from her school concert earlier this week.

NotSpaghetti Thu 26-Mar-26 08:50:28

... some just talk and talk at you repeatedly about their currently"niche" interest!
That's the other option.grin

My currently teenage grandsons will often talk forever about something they think they know about or alternatively they might sometimes say "hello, I'm just doing xyz do you mind if I....?" and of course they are given permission to go off!

This means I get a lovely visit with their mum (and frees me from talking politics/ science/ gaming/ ancient Greece(!) to the boys.)

In my family they don't seem to be grunters - but do have other ways of asserting their teenage boy thing!

All of it is a phase.
Hang in there.
flowers

NotSpaghetti Thu 26-Mar-26 08:51:47

Grammaretto
His DM has been complaining about him for a couple of years asking me if his dad was ever as rude. 😕

Ha ha ha ha ha! 🤣

Grammaretto Thu 26-Mar-26 09:19:10

My DM came to visit when DS2 was going through the impossible stage, she said "don't you remember your brother?"
She described some his awful behaviour at around 17.
I could hardly imagine my little brother, now a respectable and respected teacher ever being the surly, grunting teenager.
Yours will definitely improve with age
Fancyflowers

grumppa Thu 26-Mar-26 09:37:51

I always get a friendly greeting from my teenage GCs, but they don't hang around to make conversation! Suits me.

RosiesMawagain Thu 26-Mar-26 09:44:24

TG my teenage grandchildren (16, 14, nearly 12) treat me with a lot more respect than they sometimes do their parents!
I’m not the enforcer, the “put your phone away, have you done your homework, the no you are not going out in that “ person so the flashpoints aren’t there.
I zip my mouth when they and their parents are having a moment and while I never, ever question what. M and D say I can occasionally calm things down privately.
Surely you remember the teenage years OP? 😱
As a parent they could be dire, but my three (girls) never took it out on either Granny.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 26-Mar-26 09:51:34

RosiesMawagain my GS’s are similar ages (17, 16 and nearly 12)

I do not get involved in family disputes one of them is here weekly for a sleepover, the elder two not so much (tied up with school/college stuff). They know I am a soft touch but I do expect good manners.

They have their own lives, as long as they are happy and healthy I am happy.

fancyflowers Thu 26-Mar-26 09:56:40

Yes thank you M0nica, I have just watched it. Thank goodness my grandson is nowhere near as extreme as this!

Thank you all for your replies, it's good to hear other people's experiences.

watermeadow Thu 26-Mar-26 10:00:15

I looked after two of my grandchildren a great deal until Covid separated us. They live nearby but I very rarely see them now, they are too shy to speak to me, much less hug me. They are one boy and one girl.

AGAA4 Thu 26-Mar-26 10:01:15

When my boys were entering their teenage years a friend who had four adult boys told me that between the ages of thirteen to seventeen they become aliens. You just have to see it through till hormones have settled and they become normal human beings again.
I have two adults sons and four grandsons. All apart from the youngest have gone through the teenage angst years but are so good with me now.

Kate1949 Thu 26-Mar-26 10:08:23

Our GD is 25 and a complete sweetheart. She still has both sets of grandparents and treats us all with respect and love. We are beyond thrilled that she and her equally lovely boyfriend have asked me and DH to go on holiday with them this year. She never went through that uncommunicative stage.

Allira Thu 26-Mar-26 10:46:50

M0nica

Have you never seen the comedy sketch 'Kevin becomes a teenager' ? I recommend watching it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLuEY6jN6gY

It is brilliant, isn't it!!

I think teenage girls are more communicative than boys.

My DGS is coming out of the tunnel now but he's never going to be a great conversationalist unless it's about a subject he enjoys! What is the point of idle chat? 😁

paddyann54 Thu 26-Mar-26 11:12:16

Mine,well the oldest three were child carers for their mum when dad was out of the country working.3 weeks out of four at times .They are lovely young folk ,all three now volunteer with disabled groups and teen clubs and despite our worries about the amount of time they spent on care they are brilliant well rounded teens …much nicer than their mum who was the teenager from hell.
My favourite ( only) grandson calls and msgs me with bands and singers he thinks I,ll like sometimes on his way home from gigs.He and his gf are responsible for my renewed interest in “new” country music ,a genre I hasn,tliztened to for a decade or more .Albums are a ridiculous price now ….lol