How do your teenage grandchildren behave towards you?

15, soon be 16 year old GS. I wasthe responsible adult last year when his parents were away for a week. No problems with grumps and grunts. Came in from school one day explained he had work to do the be down for dinner. Fine I said. He then stunned me by saying he would be keeping me company, perhaps play cards, a game, watch a film after dinner. Just not expected from a 15 year old.

jakuss

Abominably, ruined them as children , constantly minding them when parents split up, then when eldest grandaughter got married june 2023 without even inviting us it was devastating my dear husband died 2 months later, no forgiveness

jakuss, it's very sad to hear that,

My GC are still much younger but I remember when my mum was alive we didn't see her often as she lived 200 miles away and didn't drive, however my 2 nephews lived close by. She saw them regularly when young, often babysitting and having them round during the day so my sister in law could go shopping with her mum and sister. Later when they were teenagers she rarely saw them. It is quite normal but sadly I don't think they really grew out of that until after she died.
My adult children both try to visit my elderly MiL despite living about 250 miles from her.
I just try to make the most of times with mine, but even my 5 year old GS can be a bit grumpy and rude at times. I'm not local and when I visit I stay for about a week at a time and it interferes with their routine as I sleep in the living room. I'm hoping to move nearer soon and then I guess visits will be less disruptive, but shorter and more frequent so we can have some fun, then I'll go home and leave them to their normal routine. My youngest is only 2 weeks old so I'm getting lots of cuddles at the moment!

I remember my own daughter being a bit tricky at about 14. A friend with older children said, "Oh that's the little cow stage". They come out of it, don't worry!

I have huge hugs from the two boys. The girls are more reserved but eventually get better again

My daughter’s children are very busy but make time to come and see me when they can. At family get-togethers they are a pleasure to be with.
My son’s children are fine with me when we meet ie when I am invited to their parents’ house, but other than that we rarely see each other or make contact.

Sorry, I should have said that three of them are no longer teenagers.

My 19 year old grandson has become much more sociable since I started giving him lifts. He knows which side his bread is buttered!

They are lovely... friendly, polite, huggy.
But each has had brief blips but all came out the other side. Let us hope you just caught your GS during a blip!
I ignored the blips .....

I very rarely see my eldest grand children they have their own lives so do I

I recently made an expensive trip to look after my 13 yo granddaughter (at the request of my daughter) staying for 6 nights. I was looking forward to spending some quality time with granddaughter - just the two of us - but it was clear from the start she had other ideas!! Suffice to say it was a pretty lonely week!!! I was glad to come home again 🤣
My older grandson (20) however is amazing. He regularly pops in to see us and if not he will call to check we're ok. So proud of him 🤩

Let me tell you a story from my son’s schooldays.
In year 7 (boys only school) he had a very bright funny English teacher. When she asked them a question in class she’d say, “Now come on boys, you need to talk now because by the time you’re in Year 9 you will have lost the ability to speak. Better make the most of it now!”

Secondwind

I fully anticipate ‘dropping off the edge’ at some point whilst my grandsons’ brains are remodelling! Hopefully we’ll meld back as we are now when they get to the other side.

I was worried about the same thing. For a couple of years my GS did not look up from his phone. There was much grunting and eye-rolling. Now,at 19, he is a delightful, chatty and friendly young man. They do come out the other side. Be patient.

They are like a butterfly. Brain turns to mush. In a couple of years he will be a charming young man. Keep the door open. Quick hug and a bit of cash helps.

I heard it described as they go through a tunnel and they can’t hear you properly. You just have to stand at the end with a torch and they will head for you in the end.

My DC always volunteered to go and visit my mother. I thought I had a good relationship with my GC - when they were little I looked after them one day a week and when they went to school they used to come for supper once a week. They are now older teenagers and I never hear from them and rarely see them. I’m thinking of having a t-shirt printed with the slogan ‘I used to be a grandma’.

My daughter and family live many miles away, so I don't see the whole family very often. I'd already told myself that elder grandson , ( 16) was going through that teenage stage where old people are to be ignored. I knew I was right, but it's so heartening to read all this evidence!!

To be honest, I was actually aware of the teenage grunt phase, but I was a bit taken aback by the 'head down, monosyllabic grunt' when I asked him a question. Perhaps I didn't expect to see it in my grandson. I thought it only happened to other people's grandchildren!

luluaugust

Can only agree, not unusual at that age. Our 15 year old says hello and then hangs around a bit before disappearing to his room. The older GC are much more sociable

Yes. My 12 nearly 13 is practising to be a teenager too.

I think back to my own childhood. My grandparents had huge numbers of grandchildren, therefore my relationship with them was almost non existent...and they lived 90 miles away from us. It was a chore to accompany my parents on periodic visits. The grandparents expressed no interest in me or my life, but would make critical remarks if they perceived something of which they disapproved. They were wrapped up in their own lives. This was the 50s and 60s, times were hard for them after WW2 .
I make an effort to display interest in my young adult GCs lives, having watched them through childhood, but I don't expect them to reciprocate. I enjoy it when they do though. To them I'm just an old woman and I live 1000 miles away. I just get on with my life, filling it with friends, hobbies and activities. My concerns about the younger generations are in the past. If this sounds sad, don't worry it isn't...its life and we all need to make the best of it.

V3ra

We used to call that age "grunt mode," and yes they do grow out of it, don't take it personally. At least you got a hug!
Just concentrate on seeing and talking to your daughter and the other child/ren for now when you visit.

Mine is in that mode at the moment. I’m presuming it will pass?

I should have let you know that he is a boy.