How do I bring this issue up with our neighbours?

jocork

My ex used to play music very loudly so I was always glad we lived in a detached house, apart from a few months in a flat when first married. Unfortunately semi-detached houses often have fairly thin walls! i've been in houses where you could hear your neighbour putting a plug in the wall!
When I lived in a flat I had a neighbour below me who was very noisy, with loud TV in the early hours. I didn't know him at all as he was renting while most of the residents owned, so I put a note through the door and the noise stopped immediately so he clearly didn't realise. However if you know the neighbours I think it's best to speak to them directly. I'd be mortified if I thought my TV disturbed the neighbours, but I'd still rather know so I could turn it down.

With the fashion of having uncarpeted floors my partner had an upstairs neighbour who redecorated and he could hear them walking around. People don’t think sometimes. His current house is a semi; up till recently his neighbour was an elderly lady who was very quiet but the new people are doing lots of work on the house and there’s lots of banging and they’ve got barky dogs ( although the dogs don’t bother us). Fortunately they use the back room as their living room and he uses the front room so we don’t hear each other at night.

I think Angelafeet's suggestion is a good one. Good luck

I used to have that problem so just used to turn my TV up

Homes are build so badly! I have noticed that on some programmes, usually dramas, actors do mumble more than they used to. Also on iPlayer the sound needs to go up to hear. I don't have hearing problems. But it is a difficult situation as it's possibly their only form of entertainment. Also everyone I know with hearing aids still needs the Tele up high. But if it is driving you nuts then you do need to ask them to turn it down. And blame the thin walls and say you are sorry to have to ask them but it's coming right into your room. They will probably understand and turn it down.

I like the subtitles on too, you can follow a program without having the TV blaring at you.

Hope that you can resolve it amicably!

Please let us know how you get on with speaking to your neighbour.
I hope all goes well.

Pop round with a box of chocs or flowers to lessen the query of noise

Don't write. The bloke next door to us (can't bring myself to call him a neighbour) does this all the time. Really annoys us when a quick chat can resolve so much. He did this first when we had to leave our just pre covid pup on its own for the first time when I had a hospital appointment for a cancer diagnosis and she had been barking. He wrote us a note, reported us to police, RSPCA and council but didn't have the guts to speak to us in person.

That’s really awkward for you. I can’t think that 5hey are deliberately annoying you so agree with others that you should speak kindly to them about it. As a short term fix you could suggest noise cancelling ear buds for them, or for yourselves. Good luck.

Ameliaw It’s so thought provoking, neighbourly issues isn’t it? My elderly but super fit and super strong nervous (lifts big pots full of soil!😂) For the last 14 months (I’m the new girl here) I’ve picked up her cats poo. It’s a communal bed and this puss does whopping great dog size poos!

I would ask them if they can hear yours and then hope that they ask if you can hear theirs.Perhaps ask them if they watched something you watched the night before……

Honesty is always the best policy. Have a chat and explain as you have here. My husband has tinnitus. I think our volumes are ok but certainly wouldn’t be offended if our adjoining neighbour said they were. We’d work to find a way around it that suited both.

Try to avoid any unpleasantness or disagreement with your neighbours .
It could be that they are deaf -but it's come on rather suddenly .
I imagine that they've moved their TV .

I'd take something round and say I've bought too many biscuits or would you like this plant ?
Make it casual and friendly .
And politely mention that their TV is a little too loud for you .
If pressed then it gives you a headache.

Hopefully the remedy will go down nicely with a little sweetener.

I agree with whoever said that a letter would NOT be a good idea- however carefuly it was written it would make it very different and quite confrontational as opposed to a quiet friendly word

And , as an octogenarian, who wears hearing aids and lives in a semi detached house, I'm well aware that it is difficult to know how loud my TV is. It's not on the wall but it is placed quite near to the wall. I don;t see my neighbours much, as they are out most of the day, but I have occasionally just mentioned that I would totally understand if they told me that my TV was rather loud. Hopefully not, as I do have the subtitles on practically all the time.

Maybe it's actually a new TV and they haven't invested in a sound bar?

I noticed that most new TVs have the speakers at the back.
I expect this is for entirely aesthetic reasons - to make the front slim and clean looking.
If they have also wall mounted it on the party wall I expect this will intensify the problem.

I wouldn't ask about your own TV noise unless as an "afterthought" - they are almost certainly bound to say no they don't hear it - or possibly that they don't mind it!

We hear next door's karaoke - but it's only once every six weeks or so - sufficiently infrequent enough not to matter.

Our new TV doesn't have a soundbar but isn'ton the wall.... maybe I should get one anyway?

Bite the bullet and knock on their door.
How can they know if the TV is disturbing you if you don't tell them?

I would be mortified if I thought my noise was driving someone mad!

Years ago when we had 3 small boys and lived in a semi, I only met my very polite Spinster schoolteacher neighbour over the garden fence. She refused all invitations and never invited us in until our house was on the market. I was invited in for a glass of sherry. I could hear practically every word through the adjoining wall. Luckily it was just boisterous boys.
She must have been so pleased to see us go. Mind you the people we sold to had kids too.

Perhaps you can ask them as part of your conversation"By the way (with a quizzical grin) do you know that loud conversations and loud TVs go right through our shared wall?"

I wouldn't mention loud conversations.
I don't think that's the issue here and it muddies the water a bit.

I am quite deaf these days and have a device that plugs into the tv which enables me to hear the sound through my hearing aids without it bothering my DH. I recommend it to anyone with hearing problems.

It happened with my neighbours. I just said nicely that I could hear the TV really loudly through my wall. I don't know if they resited it or just turned it down. It's been fine since. I did also check that nothing of mine was causing them problems

Good result!
Hope it stays like that.
🤞

Update: I spoke to my neighbour yesterday when I saw her in her front garden. We chatted about plants, flowers, family etc. and then I just asked casually if they had had a re-organisation in their living room as I had noticed the sound of their TV recently and as I had not heard it before I was a bit puzzled. I did say that it wasn't terribly intrusive but still noticeable.

She said that they had not moved it at all, but she would keep it in mind and make sure it was not turned up too loud.

All very amicable, and we then chatted about other things, including how to keep cats from digging up our newly planted/sown plants!

I hate any sort of confrontation or awkwardness if it can be avoided, but am glad that I spoke to her - at least they are aware of it now and we are still friends!

Thanks all for your help.

Just to add, I did ask if they could hear our TV, as it is sited on the chimney breast adjoining their living room wall. She assured me they couldn't.

AskAlice

Just to add, I did ask if they could hear our TV, as it is sited on the chimney breast adjoining their living room wall. She assured me they couldn't.

My neighbour used to dig milk bottles into her garden and put bleach in them to deter my cats from digging I think ( it was a long time ago and I’m questioning my memory about it…also not sure if it worked!)