Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Precious sentimental objects lost.

(38 Posts)
NinjaNan18 Sun 12-Jul-26 12:22:10

I am really struggling with something at the moment. I lost my Mum when I was a child. I only have one album of photos of her and me, that I have always kept in the same place. Due to a long term illness I was tidying the cupboard the album is kept in but had to stop halfway through to sleep. I put all the stuff left to sort in a bin bag to come back to it when feeling better. To cut a long story short it appears my husband put the bag out on black bag collection day and I only realised after the bins were collected. It's totally my fault and I'm angry with myself but I am frustrated as well that my husband didn't look in the bag as normally he's fanatical about recycling so checks through the rubbish. I am devastated at the loss of the photos and other things of sentimental value that are also missing from the cupboard and I'm struggling because I'm an only child and there's no-one alive in my life now who knew and remembers my Mum. I even did a crazy thing for me and paid a psychic who said she can find lost objects. Of course it was a scam, which in my right mind I'd never have fallen for. But that's just it, I'm not in my right mind now. It's like the grief hitting me all over again as the photo album would have on my list of things you grab in a house fire. How could I be so careless. Please don't make my mistake. Copy precious old photos so they can be stored electronically incase anything happens to the originals."

gransruleok Wed 15-Jul-26 16:54:52

Must just say, Madeleine45, I think your very encouraging message to NinjaNan was inspired - your words touched my heart - I bet you are a lovely friend to have.

Shelflife Wed 15-Jul-26 18:13:19

I can imagine how upset you are ! That is such a sad story. I think writing down what you remember of the photos may give you a little comfort. Do reach out to relatives and family friends - who knows what photos of your Mum they may have tucked away , someone may even discover one of the two of you together ! Good luck.

Rocketstop2 Wed 15-Jul-26 18:29:27

Ninjanan18 ,
I just wanted to add my best wishes to you after having such an upsetting time.I think many of us would dread something like this happening.It's truly awful but as others have said, no one can throw your memories away.I hope , eventually you will be able to find some comfort in that.flowers

FranA Wed 15-Jul-26 21:14:51

My mum’s house was devastated by a fire and all our childhood photos were lost. Surprisingly the neighbours also had photos that we were in and when clearing out they offered them to us. Do you have any old friends or neighbours who may still have photographs. If so it may be worth asking them. They brought back a whole different set of memories for us.

Annie71 Wed 15-Jul-26 21:19:56

Really, really sad for you but I think we all have little treasures that we visit in our minds without actually holding them. I hope you can recall them and gather them to you.
I would try really hard to not focus on their physical loss as nothing can be done sadly and instead try to keep hold of your images of them and how they made you feel. The comfort they gave you were real and the feelings are still there to recall.
I hope your grief at their loss gets easier.

JAN1954 Wed 15-Jul-26 21:45:28

I am so sorry to read about what happened to your photographs. I am an only child too and can empathise how precious these photos must have been to you. Take care of yourself and try not to be too hard on yourself or your husband about this loss.

Sarnia Wed 15-Jul-26 21:55:34

I sent my old VHS tapes to a reputable company to be made into DVDs. They had films of my late Mum with my children when they were small. I was notified of their dispatch back to me but they never arrived. The company had proof of collection but a very unconcerned Royal Mail had lost them. I was distraught and decades later it still makes me sad that they are somewhere but not with me.

StTrinians Thu 16-Jul-26 09:53:43

So sorry for your loss. These items are such strong links to the past, and your memories are unique. Could you write some stories about each photo that you lost maybe? Sending a big hug.

madeleine45 Thu 16-Jul-26 10:55:49

As an afterthought, perhaps it might encourage us all to at least photograph precious items, whether they be something like a necklace worth actual money as well as sentiment, or that cracker made from the toilet roll by your 3 year old. Clothes that you are unlikely to go out in now, but connect you to lovely occasions.

Actually get these printed , rather than stored on your phones, and get two copies of everything. Then you could give one set to another family member or a good friend to keep, so that should you lose your set, you will have another set to go for. Might be a bit of stable door and horses, but worth a thought. The other thing I do, which has helped memories over the years, is to write on the back of the photo the date and the people in the picture and the occasion. Our family , from my great grandparents were photo takers on whatever occasion. Problem was , in years gone by, everyone would be in their best clothes , which would often be the same in lots of the photos as we did not have many changes of "best" outfits. I have been pleased to be able to look at the backs and see who that man on the end was and what occasion, also a great help if anyone is trying to do a family tree etc.

Jeanie28 Thu 16-Jul-26 17:25:42

That is so sad.
I also have hardly any photos of family and holidays and outings, and I know there were tins of them. I lost one parent more than 50 years ago, and the other 5 years ago. I think the remaining one just wanted to de-clutter, and I assume thought I wouldn't be interested in them. How wrong they were... no older generations left to ask now so gone forever :-(

Shel1951 Thu 16-Jul-26 20:48:08

I'm so sorry

Carenza123 Sat 18-Jul-26 03:33:20

On a similar note, we moved house over 20 years ago and we cleared out rubbish we had accumulated over the years. My daughter was helping. Unfortunately a black bin bag containing my precious Christmas tree mementoes gathered over the years was thrown away by mistake! I know it’s not the same as photos but I felt devastated as I can’t replace these personal items and cried at the time. Since then, despite my children being in their twenties (at the time) I asked my son and daughter to create some new pictures for display on future Christmases. There has been some good suggestions by others.