Being excluded from Hen do!

Maybe one of those women can do the childcare dutie

Allsorts

Well Roxy, you have a charmer there. Whatever you say will be water off a ducks back. She has shown what she thinks if you. I would comment on it however although she has shown what she thinks, I would do it lighthearted but couldn't ignore a snub like that, would not be so availabke in future..

I would be very careful there. Especially if she still wants a relationship with her son and grandchild.
As someone mentioned earlier look at that Adam Ramsay-Peaty case.

I feel for you as I too would be very upset and would want to say something, but then I wouldnt because it may cause friction and I wouldnt want to lose contact with my dear GC .
I know some who have spoken out and sadly no longer see their GC.
Big hugs 💐

Roxynounou So was your son oblivious to the fact that you weren't invited? Surely he saw the photos and comments and realised you haven't been invited? Seems strange to me. I think it was very mean and cutting to put those comments on social media with the photos. Difficult situation though.

She made a stupid comment- probably upset a few others who weren’t invited too! I would also feel upset but would not say anything to her as it will create tension. MIL relationships can be tricky and best to forget this. Is she normally friendly, polite & grateful for what you do?

Poor manners & lack of protocol to say the least.

I think you have to think carefully about your priorities before deciding next steps.

1. You are understandably hurt. You can choose to :
*Suck it up and say nothing
* Just comment pleasantly re glad you had all had a nice time and leave it with her. She may or may not realise she was unkind
*Make passive/aggressive comments as some have suggested
*Tell her you were hurt and discuss it openly

In deciding what you want to do you need to factor in the short term possible outcomes and long term possible outcomes in terms of your relationship with her and therefore,by default, with your son and potentially your grandchildren. 💐

Tell her you have been invited on a friend's daughter hen party and you cannot mind your GD ,

To have a potential relationship with gc , Adam Peaty mentioned, involves watching your responses to everything, not taking offence at public snubs as the hen part was and the extremely unkind comments made by dil.and knowing you are being tolerated. Several of you appear to do that to have some sort of relationship. One rule is never talk publicly about problems as so many celebs and a royal have, even selling their stories.

It makes sense if she regarded the hen do as for ‘her side’. That’s the only reason I can think of.

monami

Tell her you have been invited on a friend's daughter hen party and you cannot mind your GD ,

That made me 😂

Me too!

I think you are probably right Geordie girl and there was no ill intent.

That almost makes it worse.

I wouldn't comment at all.

Simply ask, 'How did it go?'
And continue to enjoy your contact with the child.

I can understand your upset, but as time goes on make her like you.
Do what is right, be kind, be helpful/consistent and thoughtful, and change her thoughts towards you.
When others let her down, and they will, you will move up her list of favourites.

Please do not make this a big issue.

Like Maremia posted, drop into conversation how did your hen do go, hope you had a good time

You do not want to do anything that jeopardises your relationship with your son, d-I-l and GC.

Myself and the mother of the bride were both excluded from the Hen do and frankly it was just the start of many ways in which I have been ignored over the years. I have ne’er mentioned it to DS or his wife, I just grin and bear it but all the different incidents have stayed in my mind.

Sorry - want to also say we do everything not to cause a falling out like Adam Peaty or the Beckhams.

Humberbear - if both you and the brides’s mother were excluded, what is the problem ? They probably only wanted the young ones there.

Have a good cry OP then put it behind you. In the scheme of things its not the worst thing to happen.

You could have dodged a bullet. Some hen dos are the work of the devil.

The comment was thoughtless, but probably just that. So much cringeworthy rubbish spouted on social media. I am so pleased it was not around when my DDs were teens.

I hope you enjoy the wedding. A glass of bubbly and a big smile.

Aveline

I think that it's absolutely shocking that you've been excluded in this way. Sad to say that it says a lot about your future DiL. I do think it's not unreasonable to say to your son how distressed and excluded you felt. He probably didn't even think about it. He should have and so should she. You could ask him if this is going to be how it is in future? That might get him thinking and remembering your hurt.

I would definitely NOT say anything to your son about how you feelas I would not wnt to put him in the middle of it all and certainly wouldn't want to cause any problems between DS and his wife. The problem is between how wife and you.

Not long after DD and SiL got married I had occasion to be upset at something he'd said. We had a right ding dong argument. It could have been awful. The red mist had descended on us both. I usually go quiet if I'm angry because I'm afraid of what I might say. But on this occasion I spoke out. So did he. We've actually ended up very close. He's very dear to me now and is very kind and really looks out for me. It was painful at the time but ended up very much for the best.

It was always traditional for brides to invite their own family and friends, rather than the groom's, so perhaps she did not even think.

You could say that she seems to have had a good time, but it upset you that she did not care about you.