What do you make of this?

My DH has got into the habit of telling me what "WE" agreed, or what "WE" like or do not like, when he has neither discussed with me nor would it be my opinion.

Think it is just a man thing...

He may be embarrassed to think he is not AI literate, evn though you did not say that at all

If this sort of remark from your husband is something totally new, I think you should not say more about it right now.

Try to treat it as if he just was grumpy, or perhaps had misheard or misunderstood your conversation with the neighbour.

If he continues to make similar remarks when he chances to hear a conversation with another person, then I would start wondering how I should react if I were in your place.

Years ago, my husband heard, or rather misheard, part of a telephone conversation I was having with an acquaintance. When I explained what we actually been talking about, he realised it in no way had anything to do with his behaviour (which he had thought) and we never again had a similar discussion.

Your account made me wonder if your husband's hearing may be becoming less acute? Did he actually hear what you were saying, or did he assume he heard something you did not say?

It seems he overheard a completely innocous conversation and misunderstood the detalis of it. If this sort of thing continues, you may feel you have to consider whether his behaviour is changing in other ways too, and why, but honestly it does not sound so serious to me.

I understand why you feel you have been treated like an erring child, but you could turn it round and say your husband was eavesdropping on a conversation he had no right to be listening to!

I think I'd tell him to stop listening in to other people's conversations!

My husband is always telling me off, or telling me how to do things Ive been doing for decades. This morning he tried to tell me how to measure out milk and porridge to cook in the microwave, and he's forever saying "you shouldn't touch that, what if everyone touched it" I'm 70 in a few weeks and he's driving me nuts. The most satisfying way I've found to deal with it is to ask him who he thinks he is, say that he's not my dad, and tell him I can do what I like. It makes me feel better and usually shuts him up. I think most men become unbearably stuffy, nosey and grumpy as they age. Don't stand for it!

He sounds like he can be a bit of a controlling, old grump to me.

Men like that in their live in their heads in dull ,lonely caves. Where not a lot happens and they don't have much to say.

I bet he is secretly a bit jealous of you, having opinions and thoughts on life.

Al is going to really affect us all vey soon. And I thinking it is a crucial and very interesting topic for you to discuss.

Don't take any notice of him.

Enjoy your life
👍😻
x

We went to a Matinee yesterday and the person next to me struck up conversation before the play started which was unexpected as as Londoner myself and she wasnt it was very unusual for someone to have a chat. My DH didn't like this, he's a lovely man but can be possessive which I find rather annoying !

This is definitely a red flag as it's controlling behaviour. If this sort of thing is something new and normally you can say whatever you like then that could merit a visit to the GP. But if he's always been like this ie listening to what you discuss with others and telling you off about it that's your choice to put up with it or challenge it.
My first husband was like that constantly asking who I spoke to at work, really angry if I discussed our electric bill with a friend etc. I divorced after 3 years.

"It didn't answer the question" but it wasn't a question, it was an accusation. You felt you were in the dock, being judged guilty whatever you replied. Rather like the old trick question, "Are you still beating your wife?", where neither "Yes" or "No" will get you acquitted.

Why not just tell your husband what you have said on here? Don't understand why you can't just have that discussion with him, tell him how you feel in a calm manner and liten to his point of view too.

Is it that you feel he is trying to 'control ' what you can or can't say to others. Or was he just concerned you over shared personal information? Was he the one in the family scammed and embarrassed by it? You a big girl now and can have a conversation without his censorship, unless he was genuinely concerned you put yourself at risk. You could ask him why he was concerned?

I think you're right Patsy70, we do need to talk to friends, to get it out of our system. Freedom of speech.... I'm all for it.

Plevey08

MOnica, IMO monitoring what someone has said to another, and showing your disapproval, despite OP explaining it was part of a wider chat about not understanding AI is telling her what she can and can not talk about. Unacceptable. Of course if you are happy to be treated like that or you treat others like that then do be it.

Her husband was not 'monitoring' what the OP said. He overheard it.We all over hear things other people are saying in our home and out, but we are not 'monitoring' them.

I would also repeat, she was not told she must not talk about something. It is clear that someone in their family/social circle as had been scammed and as a result her husband is over cautious about even admitting it had happened. This is not an uncommon reaction among those many people who struggle to adjust to modern technology and are rather frightened by it.

Thee is a big difference between someone saying they do not think you should discuss something outside the family and that person enforcing that opinion in any way. The OP has not mentioned any kind of enforcement.

If anyone, family or not, told me I had said something they did not think I should say, whether I responded to that stricture would depend on the circumstances and whether, on balance, I agreed with them or not. I am sure that at times I have said to a member of my family or friends that I thought something they said was better left unsaid -and they would be completely at liberty to agree or disagree with me.

To me this kind of conversation is part of normal discourse in a situation where people are free to express their concerns about something someone has said or done, or anything else, for that matter. In our family we do not censor each others conversations and have the freedom to disagree openly with each other, without being accused of bullying

I think we need to talk to friends, to get it out of our system. Bottling things up isn’t healthy. My OH and I bicker quite a lot and he frequently accuses me of saying things that I clearly haven’t. However, we get over it and don’t hold a grudge.
I’m sure you will too.

Georgesgran

I think you’ve got that in one Oreo.
Women talk, we have the gift of conversation (IMHO) and communication, but most men hardly scratch the surface with their men friends - just polite observations.

I can’t see his problem, unless you’d been talking about money or sex!

Completely agree with you here and Oreo

MOnica, IMO monitoring what someone has said to another, and showing your disapproval, despite OP explaining it was part of a wider chat about not understanding AI is telling her what she can and can not talk about. Unacceptable. Of course if you are happy to be treated like that or you treat others like that then do be it.

I talk to my friends and if hubby doesn’t like it well… we’ve been married many years and I ask him always to respect the fact that I have an opinion doesn’t go down too well sometimes.. however we’ve been married nearly fifty years so we must get on well.

Good point M0nica

Plevey08

I wouldn't like to be told what I am allowed to say.

The OP said nothing about her DH telling her what she is allowed to say. He merely said he did not like what she had said, Surely he is allowed an opinion, even if it is different to his wife's

Ignore it and continue doing as you do.

“………he said it still didn’t answer the question” and at that point I would have told him to get over himself!

Be grateful that your husband's hear ing is that good!
The heat is really having an effect on people.

Thank you everyone. I’m like Plevey08 and don’t like being told what I’m allowed to say however I feel better for getting your opinion and will ignore it 😊

I sent a message intended for my friend to my DD by mistake. She saw it before I could delete it. It was about DD. It wasn't bad but neither did I want her to know I discuss her with my friend. DD was not pleased.
Whoops!
I hope you can ignore your DH reaction. It was probably the heat 🔥

I wouldn't like to be told what I am allowed to say.

Just ignore it.