Precocious or just confident?

I have also witnessed the precocious children in school, they are not well liked!
I agree with that statement in some ways. Precocious children aren't taught to be so, its just how they are, and often they show greater emotional depth and sensitivity. Maybe this is what happened at the funeral.
In my experience, precocious young children don't always enjoy playing with their peers, but prefer to seek out adult company, say in the playground or at break times. I've known a few prefer to stay indoors chatting to library staff about some quite intellectual stuff, or helping teachers mount wall displays etc.

Too often people gathering at funerals don't know others and disperse after paying their respects so what a very thoughtful move by your GS who I'm sure will have made and left a lasting positive memory for them and a GS to be proud of.

kircubbin2000

He is very much into drama and music so I think that has made him like this.

I agree. He is a confident young man.

I would have,said precocious, until I read everyone else's replies.
I'm still of the "children should be seen but not heard" school of thought.

I can't help observing that outgoing, articulate boys are more commonly seen than outgoing, articulate girls. I think this is partly to do with the fact that the girls are more likely to be squashed if they behave like this. For some reason it is still seen as more acceptable for boys to be overtly self confident.

Personally, I think that’s quite wonderful

I rather agree with GrandmaT and Miss Adventure. ‘Forward’ is the old fashioned word that comes to mind. But not something to make a meal of.

You clearly haven’t met the girls in my family, Magenta! It’s the boys who are slightly more reticent but they all have good social skills, likely because their parents jobs involve dealing with people. I wish I’d had their confidence at their age, I must say. I feel quite sad that I was so shy and probably missed out on things.

MissAdventure

I would have,said precocious, until I read everyone else's replies.
I'm still of the "children should be seen but not heard" school of thought.

We never got to go to any family funerals at his age.

What a nice lad! He has obviously been taught politeness at an early age - I suspect most 11-year-olds wouldn't have a clue.

Children should be seen and not heard!! Awful sentiment! Can't believe anyone still thinks like that!

Me neither.
It was a tongue in cheek comment, but I still feel it was was precocious, bearing in mind it was a funeral.

I assume he is your younger son, maybe his brother would like to be more outgoing and confident! If I met a child with such confidence at 11 I would be surprised and then, I suspect, charmed. Some young relatives clearly just want be ignored at family parties, others like to meet people especially if (tactfully) asked about themselves.

It was probably the first funeral he had been to. He wouldn't know that one is expected to behave differently at a funeral to other social encounters. I think it is lovely he hsd the self confidence to talk to people he didnt know and show an interest in them.

I think it's unusual. For the most part I would expect to be introducing my children to people. As long as he wasn't interrupting people in conversation or anything, I can't see a problem. Some people might have been glad of the distraction to have someone to chat to.

One of my grandsons chatted to quite a lot of people at the funeral of his great-grandmother this year. They were mainly older relatives and her friends that he chatted to (in between charging about in the grounds with his cousins).

I saw the relatives sort-of "introduce" him to the people on the next table who would ask who he was in the family and he'd explain and then he'd carry on chatting to them for a while about all sorts of things.

I suppose most of then would see it as him introducing himself but basically I think he was really just being himself.

We did have very nice words said about all seven great-grandchildren but this one boy (and his two older siblings to some extent) was singled out for being really easy to talk to.

Some children are very good in social situations. Maybe your grandson (like mine) is regularly in situations where he gets to practice talking to adults and asks questions and is actually interested.
He is the youngest in the family too which might have a bearing on it.

I don't think it's precocious, or even particularly unusual - but maybe it depends on the way the introductions happen.
Did it seem natural or a bit weird?

I do think, however, as an only child, I would have been expected to chat to people.

Does your other son have a family?

Sounds to me that he may not grow up to be a NEET.
The ability to communicate is a good skill which, unfortunately, due to various reasons seems to be missing in a lot of young people today.

Sounds a good skill to me. Are his parents good communicators OP and he has learned from them? Or is this something self taught? Either way sounds as if he will go far and as long as he's not boasty and gets on well with other kids I cant see a problem.
Another skill to be taught for such events would be manual skills such as loading trays with crockery, getting cups of tea etc.
All skills which teenagers don't seem to be able to do and would impress me no end.

Oh dear, I can imagine what all the GN's would have thought of me at that age. I think what he did was perfectly natural and very good to feel at ease with his extended family. As an eldest child I was put in the position by my parents of being responsible for my younger siblings, to the extent of being expected to explain to any adult, that "my sister needs the lavatory" or " He cannot eat a cheese sandwich, cheese makes him ill" . So this meant that I was quite used to speaking to adults, and didnt see this as anything unusual. I lived quite close to my granny and to my great grandparents, and saw them regularly. So I grew up expecting them to be able to answer my questions and help me with anything, and at the same time, naturally would ask if they needed anything fetching or remind them their glasses were still on the table.

It is a mixture of your own nature, and what you are used to. The covid situation certainly has made a difference for everyone, and no doubt due to those circumstances , children would be more isolated or mostly being with a limited group of adults and not have been having that rough and tumble getting to know larger groups of children, where they see what is considered "natural" behaviour for children.
So well done to the little boy and to his parents for a polite and thoughtful effort. Surely , while you might feel it is a bit over the top, you would rather remember him for his politeness than have a child kicking and screaming , having a tantrum and generally demanding attention for the wrong reasons! He is aware enough of other people to learn more about what is appropriate as he grows and sees other styles of behaviour. I am now looking back and wondering who thought I was a pain at the time!!

The OP said he went round after the service and introduced himself to people.

By that, I assumed (maybe wrongly) that it was at the wake?

I didn’t think she meant he bustled round the church or crematorium talking to people!

SpinDriftCoastal

He sounds delightful. It is not precocious, it is called having social graces. Precocious is boasting and having a big ego. I once taught a boy of 11 who wore a signet ring and wore aftershave. He went far in life.

👎

Precocious only means advanced, anyway. It shouldn’t be an insult. He sounds fine to me.

PamelaJ1

Sounds to me that he may not grow up to be a NEET.
The ability to communicate is a good skill which, unfortunately, due to various reasons seems to be missing in a lot of young people today.

You are spot on there. My eldest son works in hospitality and he said that in addition to training them in their role, they also have to explain how to deal face to face with work colleagues and customers. Social skills have suffered from social media.

SueDonim

You clearly haven’t met the girls in my family, Magenta! It’s the boys who are slightly more reticent but they all have good social skills, likely because their parents jobs involve dealing with people. I wish I’d had their confidence at their age, I must say. I feel quite sad that I was so shy and probably missed out on things.

I am very pleased to hear that SueDonim. I would guess that the parents have done a great job bringing all their children up to have good social skills and as a result the girls are self assured and confident.

How amazing. We are all different. I have definitely struggled with shyness all my life. Ironically, I have always found it easier to talk just one to one, like that, and strangers were really far less intimidating somehow. My father was the one who helped me to overcome my shyness, by getting me to talk to his clients. I would try to help the older son. Perhaps he is a little shy.