Photos of casket at Crematorium posted on Facebook

I think it’s not appropriate and do not understand your brother doing it, but I would let it go. Not on facebook but I understand it would only be a few that would see it. It is his way of dealing
with his loss. The public do it all time at celebrity or royal funerals.

M0nica

I cannot see what is disrespectful about this action. How does it vary from having the funeral on Zoom so people not there can watch it.

I think he should have told you what he was going to do, but, otherwise I cannot see the problem.

Have to agree Monica. Many now have a video of the service to allow others who couldn't come to feel involved. The coffin is on view throughout.

Death affects us all in very different ways.

I think your anger is that he didn’t discuss it with you, because you use the word *covertly’ going in to see his mum but that’s his right to do, just as it’s is his right to grieve as he wants to. Some share everything with family and friends and are open and wear their heart on their sleeve, others are private, it sounds like you two are at opposite ends.
If he had used photos of your mum I would totally agree with you but just the casket no it’s not hurting anyone.

Your grief is using anger as a conduit. Anger is easier and a more familiar emotion to deal with than the loss of a parent or any loved one.
I hope you can come to terms with it all Foxglove and find your own peace

Thank you for the kind words and condolences. It is appreciated.

It was deeply hurtful to see Mums casket again in this way. I have since blocked my brother on Facebook. He can post these photos if he so wishes, but I don't want to see them, and I believe my lovely Mum wouldn't want this either.

Foxglove77, did he even ask you if he could do it?

I'd be absolutely furious too. Especially basically just minutes after ...

Poor mum, lying there peacefully, and he's obsessing over posting on FB!

Should be utterly ashamed of himself.

I'm genuinely sorry for your loss and the embarrassment and hurt your brother caused both of you. X

BlueBelle

I wouldn’t be quite as outraged as you Foxglove it’s his mum too and his right to grieve as he sees fit and if it helps him to come to terms with his loss by sharing with his friends then that’s his way, but not yours
Hopefully his fb page is private so only seen by his family and close friends, obviously if it’s open to the world that is different
You clearly say it didn’t show your mum, but only the casket so I m not sure it’s as bad as you feel it is. If his way of grieving is to share his grief I guess that’s right for him
You say he ‘covertly’ took photos but what’s he supposed to do announce to everyone that he was taking last photos of his mum or ask your permission Perhaps for him looking at the photos and seeing his mum at peace is his way of dealing with death
FB if kept private is not a bad place, every year I put photos of my mum and dad on their birthdays and death anniversaries I think all the friends and relatives on my fb page knew my mum and dad so it’s my way of keeping their memory alive.

I think I would just let it go. Not your way but his way and it’s his Mum too

That’s different Bluebell, but to put a coffin on fb I think is disrespectful to this lady’s mum, & the rest of the family, especially if they didn’t agree.
Now if its with the mums request before she died that is a whole different ball game.
Me personally, I don’t want embalming, I don’t want people viewing my dead remains, I don’t care if that upsets people that want to view me.
If my coffin went on blinking SM, I’d bloody haunt whoever put those photos on there.

crazyH

Condolences Foxglove
I have watched the funeral of my dear school-mate, thousands of miles away.
With families and friends spread all over the globe, this is what most people are doing.

It’s not the same.

Links are sent out to each person, you must know this.

I shared links for our own DM funeral, to her brother in law and my aunt, her sister, in Canada. Both were too unwell to attend in person.

I didn’t put the links, of any photos, on a public social media site, where’s it’s incredibly easy, despite “privacy settings” to access photos, if you know how.

Foxglove77

Thank you for the kind words and condolences. It is appreciated.

It was deeply hurtful to see Mums casket again in this way. I have since blocked my brother on Facebook. He can post these photos if he so wishes, but I don't want to see them, and I believe my lovely Mum wouldn't want this either.

I think this is the problem, the fact you believe your mum wouldn’t want this, I know that I wouldn’t, and am now considering writing this down as a definite no no when I die.
Can you just explain how you feel to your brother and ask him to take the pics down??

Just don’t add it to your will FS as no one will see it in time.

Oh & that ‘ like button’ so creepy!

I have a few old photos of relatives in their coffins.

It was known as "memorial photography" and was seen as a loving thing I believe.

Maybe he felt like this.
The "last record".

I think it stopped about the time of WW11.

What an awful thing to do. So crass and tasteless. I'm very sorry to hear this. Things are sad enough for you at this time.

Well yes, but the lid was on, so you couldn't actually see her, but even so it still seems an odd thing to do..

Notspaghetti not in Ireland they still have the open casket in the home for viewing and saying goodbye.

I think it’s a generational thing. I wouldn’t like it at all don’t think my boys would do such an intrusive thing. However younger generations seem to wear their heart on their sleeve and share everything from what they’re eating to where they’ve been eating,! To me nothing is private anymore.

Sincere condolences for your loss Foxglove. Was there anything written to accompany the photographs?

Im so sorry Foxglove for the loss of your mum. Coping with this when feelings are so raw is especially difficult. To post these pictures without consulting you was unkind and thoughtless of your brother. Try not to let it consume you.

Are you American, OP? Because we usually call it a coffin in the U.K.
But TBH if the coffin was closed, I really can’t see an issue. B