Photos of casket at Crematorium posted on Facebook

To be it seems crass and severe lack of taste.

But I’m ancient.

Different days- different ways maybe?

Crass, and attention seeking on his part.

I cannot see what is disrespectful about this action. How does it vary from having the funeral on Zoom so people not there can watch it.

I think he should have told you what he was going to do, but, otherwise I cannot see the problem.

M0nica really? He's taken covert photos of our Mum in her casket and plastered them all over Facebook! Would you not find photos of your loved ones in their coffin on social media distasteful? He could have made a tribute to the many photos of her when she was alive.

Meta does have a rule about limiting certain images to users who are aged 18 and older. That includes:

Imagery depicting partially or fully uncovered deceased people, even if there are no visible indicators of violent death.

If this is a family FB group where under 18s can see the photos tell him its not permissible in case they do not have the age filters switched on.

Sorry, but I would also be fuming.

He should have asked you and any other siblings if you were ok with this and then you could say no.

It also amazes me, as I’m on Facebook and Instagram, what terribly personal things people post.

An “acquaintance” was unfortunate enough to have a stillborn baby many years ago, awful thing to happen and it was her first baby. Every year she posts a photo of this wee dead baby on her fb on the birth/death anniversary.

M0nica

I cannot see what is disrespectful about this action. How does it vary from having the funeral on Zoom so people not there can watch it.

I think he should have told you what he was going to do, but, otherwise I cannot see the problem.

Because you send the link to people you know. On fb many people have “friends” they barely know.

Foxglove77

M0nica really? He's taken covert photos of our Mum in her casket and plastered them all over Facebook! Would you not find photos of your loved ones in their coffin on social media distasteful? He could have made a tribute to the many photos of her when she was alive.

Every Facebook group I belong to is closed so no one outside the group I am in will see it. I assume that is what most people do.

If it is only the casket it’s tasteless.

If it shows your mums face in a half open casket then it’s totally out of order to post on any social media platform.

Foxglove77

I am so angry right now. We had a lovely funeral service for our dear Mum yesterday. My eldest brother has gone back into the Crematorium after the service and taken several photos of our Mum in her casket on the plinth and posted them on Facebook.

I know you can't see her body but even so, its so disrespectful. Poor Mum would be devastated. It's not like she was able to give her permission.

AIBU to be furious with his actions?

I would be furious too. Surely a funeral should be a private affair, not posted on FB. Perhaps your brother finds sharing this helps him cope with his grief, I mean I am not on FB but know you get messages back from your social circle and maybe he needs people sending messages of condolence right now. But you know your brother best.

Btw am sorry for your loss. You really don’t need the stress of this on top of everything else 💐💐

Every Facebook group I belong to is closed so no one outside the group I am in will see it. I assume that is what most people do. Monica.

Respectfully - your assumption is wrong. I'm continually amazed at how stupid people are on FB and other social media sites.

I would have been very unhappy if this happened in my family.

Condolences Foxglove.

You are right, its not appropriate.

Condolences on your loss.
I think that your brother has done something which is distasteful.
I wouldn't like it.
Ask him to remove them .

Fair enough if had taken them privately for his own eyes, but to put on FB is totally disrespectful to the rest of the family.

Condolences Foxglove
I have watched the funeral of my dear school-mate, thousands of miles away.
With families and friends spread all over the globe, this is what most people are doing.

I am sorry for your loss I would be very cross too

ss

Your brother has denied your mom dignity in death. Is he human and did he love his mom I would say no .

I went to a funeral in 2009 a friends dads funeral and was disgusted her husband took photos of her dads coffin but she must have let him as she was by his side.

Your brother taking those photos is bad enough but posting them on Facebook I am sorry for all those that loved your mom . There is no when dignity dieing but you brother took away her dignity after death.

Facebook has some disgusting sites but there must be a site for death photos. And I imagine his has a lot of likes .

I don't know if you can get them removed.

Maybe it's his way of coping. So long as it was only the casket.

I wouldn’t be quite as outraged as you Foxglove it’s his mum too and his right to grieve as he sees fit and if it helps him to come to terms with his loss by sharing with his friends then that’s his way, but not yours
Hopefully his fb page is private so only seen by his family and close friends, obviously if it’s open to the world that is different
You clearly say it didn’t show your mum, but only the casket so I m not sure it’s as bad as you feel it is. If his way of grieving is to share his grief I guess that’s right for him
You say he ‘covertly’ took photos but what’s he supposed to do announce to everyone that he was taking last photos of his mum or ask your permission Perhaps for him looking at the photos and seeing his mum at peace is his way of dealing with death
FB if kept private is not a bad place, every year I put photos of my mum and dad on their birthdays and death anniversaries I think all the friends and relatives on my fb page knew my mum and dad so it’s my way of keeping their memory alive.

I think I would just let it go. Not your way but his way and it’s his Mum too

There's something seriously not right about that,
If I thought that pictures of my casket were put on social media after I die I would be devastated,
My death is not an event to be shared,
I don't care how anyone else thinks on here and it would never be open for discussion, I am really sorry for Foxglove, you have a right to be angry, totally crass behaviour

Some people are replying as if the photos were actually of Foxglove’s mum, but didn’t she say you couldn’t see her body? Maybe the brother wanted to share a photo of the crematorium and casket for those who couldn’t attend, which I feel is a very strange thing to do, but not nearly as bad as a photo of mum?
My friend has jusr died in Thailand, and his wife has shared many photos of the Buddhist ceremonies, many showing him in the open coffin, which I think is much more intrusive than a picture of a coffin on a plinth.
Condolences on your mum’s death, Foxglove.