Where do children learn ethics and morality these days?

I agree that church attendance does not necessarily equate to morality. However I would like to question the often repeated statement that people don't go to church anymore. Our church is full on Sundays and on other occasions during the week. Approx 200 people of which around 50 are under 25.
The neighbouring church is standing room only if people are not here super early.

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I also think it is mainly from the parents. About 99 per cent. A good example and not just words ! Some kick against it but at least they know what is right. I have been lucky, all ours have grown up honest and decent and so have our grandchildren. Luck and a lot of hard work !

Oh, and my church is also full on Sundays. Praise due to our Lord and our Pastor who is a fantastic bloke.

That is so sad David.

BlessedArt "Unfortunately, many parents have always looked outward for this guidance for their children, placing so-called authority figures on pedestals"
Bit of a blanket statement here!
I think morals are learned from mostly from parents, relatives, friends, education, reading and even some TV and films. Teaching children right from wrong should be a natural part of family life, personally I don't think religion or church going plays any part in this.

I really don't think that morals and ethics are anything whatsoever to do with religion. There have been far to many corrupt, evil and cruel people linked to religion. It's learned behaviour, if children and young people have the right kind of people teaching them what's right and wrong then generally they will turn out good citizens. Far too much corrupt influences in things on places like the internet are availabke to children these days.

keepcalmandcavachon

I've a feeling ethics and morality, kindness and consideration are actually more 'built in' than learned.
I'd instead question where children are learning negative traits, selfishness and cruelty from.
Also, I think if its not innate then those who suffered appallingly cruel upbringings wouldn't be able to 'come back to themselves' and be good, kind and thoughtful people, of which there are many.

The nature Vs nurture debate is a never ending one. In all individuals there will be innate tendencies. I don’t think this means how we are nurtured doesn’t matter. We will still be influenced to varying degrees by our upbringing and environments. Parents still have a job to do.

Not that I am saying you implied nurturing doesn’t matter! Just commenting that it matters in both the good bad ways, just like we innately have “good” and “bad” traits

On this topic- just reading a fascinating and eye-opening book called A British Childhood - How our Children Live Now by Frank Cottrell-Boyce.

Cossy

From their parents, their relatives, their peers, possibly their teachers.

I came from a C of E family, but church attendances were strictly limited to weddings, christenings and funerals.

I didn’t marry in church and my children were not christened.

However, myself and my husband consider ourselves to have strong moral compasses, ethics and taught our children from a very young age right from wrong.

None of our five children practise any formal religion, but we consider them to be fine, upstanding, moral decent people.

Most of us grew up in a largely Christian environment though, where even if we did not go to church their presence, congregations organising aid, Sunday schools and children's activities were around. Churches organised creches, mother's groups etc. Now there are fewer church members, and less of this.
There was a post-war gratitude to helping one another and we lived in smaller communities with more non-working mothers and we all knew the "naughty" children, so they could get away with less.

School staff were also within the same culture; some schools would not employ non-church goers.

We carried that towards our own children, but busy working mums, huge increase in latchkey kids, the rise of nasty social media, and congregations at an all time low, so kindness influence diminished. The US influence of helping oneself and D%$^ the rest is prevalent.

Isolation during COVID has reduced awareness of those around us. Even to the simple act of turning around in the street without checking who is around us.

Galaxy

There is an interesting discussion going on at the moment about the use of screens in schools, rather than books. Hopefully children get most guidance from their family, but I think stories can also be a way of imparting values.

That's thought-provoking Galaxy, stories have been used throughout history to make ethical points, teach children & echo & develop social values.
And you don't get them so much on the screen, it's images, video shorts, commercial stuff, messaging.
Even the action / comic book films don't really excercise our ethical muscle, it's so often good / evil no middle ground, lots of action, image & sass but not a story line you can reflect on or that changes the way you see things.

knspol

BlessedArt "Unfortunately, many parents have always looked outward for this guidance for their children, placing so-called authority figures on pedestals"
Bit of a blanket statement here!
I think morals are learned from mostly from parents, relatives, friends, education, reading and even some TV and films. Teaching children right from wrong should be a natural part of family life, personally I don't think religion or church going plays any part in this.

I said many, not all. I certainly don’t think most parents today hold the church in particular on a pedestal but this is fairly recent. I think parents today allow other individuals or institutions to teach, but mostly in a passive way. Meaning they aren’t doing it much themselves but the void is unfortunately being filled elsewhere. This is not a positive thing.

I've always said my moral compass came from Enid Blyton and the Brownies! I am probably an awful person to know ...

Sadly, a lot of children learn practically nothing about morality or ethics. School teachers are kept busy filling in various forms, acceding to parents' requests that some or other form of "special" rules apply only to their child, trying to teach children with special needs in the same class as their class-mates who do not have learning disabilities, for heaven forefend that we should put special needs pupils into classes of their own, and finally trying to teach children who have not been taught the meaning of words such as "no", "please be quiet" etc. before starting school.

Also if you try to teach any form of morality or ethics, you will be reprimanded for "attempting to make other people¨s children believe what you believe". If you reply that this is not so, religion does not come into it, you are only trying to give children a grounding in the rules that govern a caring, law-abiding democracy, no one listens.

So, now no teacher is likely to broach the subject. Parents who have a sound ethical and moral grounding themselves, pass this on to the children. Those who don't obviously cannot do so.

Whatever religion, if any, the parents nominally belong to, few actually attend church/ synagogue / mosque / temple regularly, pray with small children or dicuss morality with teenagers.

It really worries me .
I've just come back from the shops .
The noise from a group of teenager boys shouting and swearing in a cafe was deafening.
I ,then got on a crowded bus and had to stand as more kids occupied the priority seats .
Another group of them, who stank of body odour were shouting , swearing and talking about a girl in their class with whom they all seem to be having sex .

It was that sort of thing that made me start this thread. It's worrying isn't it?

Ilovecheese

Well it's not young people who started the wars that are taking place at the moment. Mainly two elderly men who probably call themselves Christians.

Great point!

I think the whole “young people swearing and shouting” is actually pretty much harmless.

I would be alarmed at them all speaking about a girl though in that way, not because she’s had sex with some of them, that doesn’t make her any better or worse than the males with whom she may or may not had had sex with, but because it shows a distinct lack of respect.

Respect killed no one. Respect for others and respect for oneself.

Liz13

I've always said my moral compass came from Enid Blyton and the Brownies! I am probably an awful person to know ...

Well me too then! Haha

Their grandparents if lucky enough to be close.

Esmay. You should have asked the children to move. I would have no hesitation!
As for the sex talk. Just bragging boys as usual.
Just say is that really true? See the red faces.
Call them out!

Agree!

"Whatever religion, if any, the parents nominally belong to, few actually attend church/ synagogue / mosque / temple regularly, pray with small children or dicuss morality with teenagers."
The impression I get is that children from Muslim, Jewish and other faiths do attend Mosque/Temple their for religious education as an essential part of their culture. They are taught about respect and behaviour within their own culture, outside that it's not always done, just like any children outside the control of authority they act up.

Wouldn’t be looking to churches for lessons in morality.