Where do children learn ethics and morality these days?

I’m not sure they do really.
Or at least only from a percentage of parents.This country is becoming more secular and schools don’t have the time do they for ethics and morality lessons? Maybe certain schools do.
Most kids know right from wrong where criminality is concerned but ethics, not sure about that.

Schools do have lessons on PSHE, where moral dilemmas are discussed. There are, also, philosophy lessons, in which the thinking behind ethical principles are explored.
The school my GS attends has a thriving Duke of Edinburgh programme, and he will be undertaking his community work as part of this
This school offers the International Baccalaureate instead of A levels and that, too includes an element of community service.

Most morality and ethics are learned from parents, if they are constantly lying, cheating and arguing whatever they are taught elsewhere, is wasted.

The biggest influence is within families. My primary school age grandchildren all discuss ethics and morality at school and in our family. Two go to a faith school, two don’t - their ethics and morals are strong
One now at high school. He enjoys ethics and faith - one of their year seven courses

Home.

Ethics and morality are two different things.

Cossy

From their parents, their relatives, their peers, possibly their teachers.

I came from a C of E family, but church attendances were strictly limited to weddings, christenings and funerals.

I didn’t marry in church and my children were not christened.

However, myself and my husband consider ourselves to have strong moral compasses, ethics and taught our children from a very young age right from wrong.

None of our five children practise any formal religion, but we consider them to be fine, upstanding, moral decent people.

Ditto. My parents didn't go to church, except for funerals and weddings. They were good role models - Dad worked hard, Mum was a housewife, and we sat and ate together in the evening, chatted about our day. There were some rules to follow, and we were taught to be polite.

I think home and school. For teens, their friend groups are very important.

This thread has raised the issue of home schooling for me.

Morality was never discussed at my school as a child. A bit of hellfire and damnation and judgement of course.

In my role as school governor I was impressed by the high level of values education. It was central to the school ethos. A small example .... there was a bench on the playground where someone could sit if they were on their own or feeling sad and the rule was that someone should go and talk to them. It worked well.
In secondary too I see my GC absorbing a good moral message.

Home is of course the major factor.

Maremia

I think home and school. For teens, their friend groups are very important.

Choosing the wrong friends can ruin your life, my sister did, she hung around with the bad boys at school, married one, divorced him, then married a worse one.

Had exactly the same upbringing as myself but chose the wrong friends.

BlessedArt

It has always been, should have always been, should always be the parents from whom children primarily learn ethics and morals. The church has always been hypocritical and set a poor example in nearly all ways except what they verbally espoused to congregations. Always. Political leaders have always been poor examples. Always.

One could argue that the worst possible examples from whom to learn ethics and morals are those individuals and institutions of all religions and political leanings who say one thing and do the opposite. So it is up to parents to understand the responsibility to their children is much greater than providing the basic human necessities. If we each teach our own the impact of their behaviour on themselves and wider society, we can get somewhere. Unfortunately, many parents have always looked outward for this guidance for their children, placing so-called authority figures on pedestals.

👍👍👏👏👏👏

Iam64

This thread has raised the issue of home schooling for me.

Should be an entire thread on this.

I know of very good people home schooling and some equally poor ones!

Silvershadow

A lot depends on the families they’re brought up in. Look at the parents to see how the kids will turn out.

If only it were that simple.

In my experience, children from the same family often turn out very differently from their parents and from each other.

During my childhood it would have been a mix of home and school. Among the nonsense we were expected to absorb at a catholic school as almighty wrongs back in the day, could be anything from missing mass, having sexual relations outside marriage, to getting divorced, as opposed to some of the real wrongs, set out in the Ten Commandments which would have been part of our RE lessons. "Thou Shalt Not Kill" forever resonating as the worst sin of all, even worse than divorce! With that in mind, what does shock me today, specifically relating to gang culture the casual way in which a young life can be taken, seemingly without any remorse from the assailant/s even glorified via cultural mediums, videos and music.

The lesser crime of "Thou Shalt Not Steal" is almost a non crime in parts of society today, particularly when you get "Dine and Dashers" with children in tow. What chance would those innocent children stand of acquiring an important lesson in right and wrong when they're used as accessories to their parent/s crimes.

Magenta8

Silvershadow

A lot depends on the families they’re brought up in. Look at the parents to see how the kids will turn out.

If only it were that simple.

In my experience, children from the same family often turn out very differently from their parents and from each other.

Yes the can I remember a family the mother and daughter were lovely, well spoken, the husband and sons total toerags, petty criminals in and out of prison all the time.

My husband always says the biggest rooks are suited and booted and fronting organisations that can control people.
He has a point!
My kids weren’t brought up to chase the big money,they were brought up to earn their living in a way they enjoy.Tolook outfor folk worse off and to bring their own children up to care for people not “things”
It seems to have worked. Both mine have absolute hearts of gold,have always helped anyone who needs it amd the oldest 3 grandchildren despite being carers for their sick um have volunteered with physically and mentally disabled people in their area.
I,m very proud of the people they all are .

I've a feeling ethics and morality, kindness and consideration are actually more 'built in' than learned.
I'd instead question where children are learning negative traits, selfishness and cruelty from.
Also, I think if its not innate then those who suffered appallingly cruel upbringings wouldn't be able to 'come back to themselves' and be good, kind and thoughtful people, of which there are many.

Home and peers

As if church and religion were ever a good role model for raising kids - not!

I don't believe church goers are better educated in morals. I have known some who are very lacking in them.
I am proud of my children. We taught them to be kind and considerate and they are.

Magenta8

Silvershadow

A lot depends on the families they’re brought up in. Look at the parents to see how the kids will turn out.

If only it were that simple.

In my experience, children from the same family often turn out very differently from their parents and from each other.

How true.
I’m proof of that. My father went to prison for a very violent crime. At one time he had a gun in the house.
Everything on tick but nothing paid for, you get the picture.
My father was the child of a decent family.

But my brother and sister are exactly like him.
My sister once convinced the tally man that she was so poor she couldn’t pay him that week, he actually gave her money.
Priceless 🤦🏼‍♀️

Also lets not forget we are born with our own personality and wants - sometimes no amount of guidance will stir us from the path we want

I think there are sectors within religions of all persuasions that can give out some very pernicious messages, recent reports of Imams telling the male members of their congregation to slap their wives if they don't acquiesce to their sexual advances. Catholic priests advising on birth control, well that pretty much fell on deaf ears. Men of the cloth, take a giant step back, put your own house in order and mind your own damn business!

In the end its down to parents,kids are seeing things on the Internet that they shouldn't see or listen too, its down to the parents to monitor them, teachers have a role but they are paid workers and parents can't rely on them to do the job, parents have to see what's being taught to their kids, if there are outside influences then they should watch out for it and if necessary get help to deal with it, the world is not as it was with communties watching out for their neighbours.

They concentrate a lot on values in nursery and junior school, and I suppose they learn by example, the way we all did.