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Has your Neighbourhood changed

(37 Posts)
H1954 Thu 09-Jul-20 08:02:35

Specifically, has your immediate Neighbourhood changed during lockdown? We are a mix of ages, some with young families and some retired etc, at the start someone set up a social network page to enable everyone to check on each other but also to ask for help if required.

This all worked very well to begin with but now seems to have soured somewhat.

There now appears to be a bully culture developing, a couple of individuals are turning people against each other to the point of certain very elderly couples who have known each other for decades no longer associate and it's so sad.

One person in particular is really manipulative and wastes no time in passing derogatory remarks online against others for no apparently reason.

I keep my distance to be honest; if a question is asked directly to me I will respond and will genuinely help out if anyone is struggling. On the whole I find the dynamics have morphed into several cliques and there is no community spirit left.

Is this happening around you?

Marydoll Thu 09-Jul-20 08:12:49

Ours is quite the opposite. Most of us have lived here for nearly thirty years and some are good friends. We know each other really well. If anything, our neighbourhood as improved.
We all used to be so busy working, that we never had time to chat. As a result of lockdown, we have been able to reignite that closeness. Two of my neighbours have been outstanding, since I have been shielding.
DH and I have also noticed on our walks that people who previously would never say hello have become much friendlier.

That's really sad to read that a couple of individuals have changed the dyna!mics. Social networking can have it's disadvantages, as we have seen recently on GN.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 09-Jul-20 08:37:28

Definitely more friendlier round here ( we have lived in this house for 32 years) people smiling and saying hello on our walks. I guess that when everyone is back to work and schools are fully open the normal dashing around with no time to spare will return.

Ellianne Thu 09-Jul-20 08:50:10

I belong to a neighbourhood group in my area of London and I see a big difference like Marydoll mentioned. When people were busy working they didn't have time to interact as much, even online. The city pages were just quick posts asking who can recommend a decorator, cleaner, home hairdresser - all things to save people time in their busy schedules. That all changed in lockdown and the same folk were offering help to look for lost dogs, to shop for the vulnerable and to swap useful items. The posts became longer and more chatty, it was nice to read, though whether it will continue remains to be seen.

BlueSky Thu 09-Jul-20 08:52:14

No difference here, quiet cul de sac, middle aged and elderly couples who kept themselves to themselves before during and after! We did catch a glimpse of some of the neighbours during clapping time, exchanged a wave, now back to normal!

lemongrove Thu 09-Jul-20 08:56:35

Our village also has a neighbourhood social network page, which, over this year has proved a real help for many of the elderly residents...I don’t count myself in that age bracket.😁
I think tbh that as our village has grown in size over the years,
It has proved to be better for it, more amenities, improved bus service and a friendly atmosphere with so many people eager to help.

harrigran Thu 09-Jul-20 09:01:30

There are four of us, in our street, that have lived here for 49 years and we pass the time of day. The rest of the street only use us as a depository for deliveries.
Even the young people we have provided with CCTV coverage when their cars were damaged have avoided us like the plague whilst passing to go to the shop every day.
No more Mrs Helpful here, they can take their Bohoo parcels and shove them.

Rosalyn69 Thu 09-Jul-20 09:03:27

No difference. Us, our son and his wife and our neighbour and his friend up family plus two holiday cottages. Nothing to change really except no holidaymakers.

MerylStreep Thu 09-Jul-20 09:08:55

Our small Close has always been very friendly. I've only been here 6 years but feel as if I've come home
Before lockdown 6 of us would go out socially every 3 weeks so when lockdown came we would bring a chair outside every week and have a chat. We have played charades in the Close 😂
Then we all decided that the air in the Close was no different than any of our back gardens so that's what we do every week.
My OH has done a couple of small building projects for a neighbour and shops for a couple of the more elderly neighbours. He also does them a roast dinner when we have one. I have been doing a neighbours garden all the way through this.

Furret Thu 09-Jul-20 09:09:55

That is dreadful. No, we haven’t changed here. Always been a lovely avenue of people.

TerriBull Thu 09-Jul-20 09:46:47

Yes lucky here also, if anything the communal spirit is alive and well and brought to the fore during the lockdown. Many neighbours including ourselves have had a bit of work done on the house, and during the good weather it's brought most outside, much sharing of recommendations, we gave our neighbours the name of an excellent painter/decorator who has now carried out work for them and they are delighted. When they were having some work done on their roof similarly we nabbed their roofer to come and replace some roof tiles. We've lent our karcher to several neighbours and one brought us round a very nice bottle of wine to say thanks, completely un necessary, but we were persuaded after a nano second after a short pause to take it.

Toadinthehole Thu 09-Jul-20 10:03:32

No, not really, we’re predominantly a student area, so believe it or not, it’s usually very quiet, with the houses empty for half the year. The permanent residents around are friendly if we see them, especially walking about, but otherwise not that much different.

eazybee Thu 09-Jul-20 10:07:48

My particular road is friendly, but as I have lived here for thirty years I know many of the people, and have got to know some of the newer arrivals. Neighbours have been helpful and kind.
There is a village Facebook page, but as I don't do Facebook I don't access it; I gather it has become a place for very close scrutiny of the activities of others, and accusations of transgressions during lockdown.

Teetime Thu 09-Jul-20 10:11:37

More people say hello now but what has really changed is the endless procession of builders, decorators (and the like) vans with people having lots of improvements done and a couple of houses now up for sale. they may be more now that stamp duty is being removed for a while.

kittylester Thu 09-Jul-20 10:18:33

Our village has always been a friendly, lively place but mostly things being done by the older generation. When Lockdown started a group of younger people started a helping hands group which was a real boon.

Now, however, they have the bit between their teeth and organising litter picks (there was a group already) a good neighbours group (there is one already) etc. When these things were pointed out to them, they said they didn't know.

I foresee trouble.

Judy54 Thu 09-Jul-20 13:58:39

If anything it has brought our neighbours closer together with many acts of kindness. I fully understand what is being said about Facebook which is exactly why I don't use it.

Starblaze Thu 09-Jul-20 14:05:55

Our local page is just filled with people making rude jokes and shouting freedom of speech every 5 minutes. Those of us who don't enjoy that sort of thing tend to avoid it and just talk in person

Purplepixie Thu 09-Jul-20 14:08:35

This street has defiantly got friendlier since all of this has started.

merlotgran Thu 09-Jul-20 14:16:02

We don't have any neighbours and live two miles out of the village but we have friends there that we've known for donkeys' years.

Everyone has been supportive. DH's meds are delivered by somebody from the parish council, people keep in touch via facebook messenger to ask how we are and there's a long list of people we could call on if we needed help.

I miss popping in to the village shop but it's not worth the risk at the moment with DH shielding.

3nanny6 Thu 09-Jul-20 14:56:39

Ours has not changed and it is unlikely it will. It is a cul-de-sac
with a few homes and there are another few on the other side of the road. Two families in the cul-de-sac are always out gardening in the front or having a glass of wine on warm days,
These two families are okay but every so often look to cause some trouble. (I do not end up having trouble from them) one family knows that if they even tried any nonsense with me they would come off the worst. I am a happy person but do not upset me for no reason.
Once again about two weeks ago when I was arriving home
these two families had decided to tell someone just over the road to move his car from the cul-de-sac, he has been living there with his girlfriend for about five months and never seems to bother anyone. His girlfriend came out and told him to bring his car nearer to her house as it seemed she did not want any arguments so he moved it. I think these people are so petty as there is more to life and one of them had the cheek to say to me "that's better why should he park over near our cul-de-sac" I suppose he wanted the quiet life if it had been me I would have told them to get lost.

polnan Fri 10-Jul-20 09:07:20

Same here Blue Sky

I find this very sad..

hicaz46 Fri 10-Jul-20 09:31:32

Definitely more friendly in my road where I have lived for over 25 years. Before lockdown I only knew immediate neighbours and now via a street mutual aid site on WhatsApp I know lots more. We are a long street with over 300 houses and mixed ages from babies to retired and also a very mixed style of private housing from bungalows, to semis to large detached houses. Everyone is still helping others where needed. Last week someone had a glut of eggs from their hens, advertised them on the site and within 30 minutes I had half a dozen eggs on my doorstep. People have swapped sugar, flour, bamboo canes, plants etc and we had a socially distanced street swap 2 weeks ago and raised £550 for a local junior school affected by a fire. I really hope this wonderful community spirit which has helped us during lockdown will continue for a long time.

Hetty58 Fri 10-Jul-20 10:09:29

Pretty much the same as always here. I chat to other dog walkers from a distance. We are here to help if anybody really needs us but generally just say a quick hello - and no socialising or real friendliness.

That's what I prefer. Having had trouble with (so-called 'friendly') neighbours in the past, I keep myself to myself and I'd be equally happy to have no near neighbours.

4allweknow Fri 10-Jul-20 10:13:35

Also have a social network page but has been up and running for a few years. A mixture of residents; older, retired but heavily weighted to young families. Don't have a lot to contribute generally as I find it is mainly females posting about their little cherubs. Over lockdown I decided a lot of those females have no idea of what real life is like. Loads of postings about fairy doors, placing them in the local park and being surprised at them being moved. One reaction to this was 'Mummy had to explain that there are some cruel, yes cruel people and they moved the doors'. Next the fairy doors, some about 8"x10" were being nailed into trees. Then there was painted stones; wanting to cement them onto paths in the park. Wondered what the reaction would be when they were all broken or people started tripping over them. There is a definite "entitlement" element in a lot of young parents these days and the social network here certainly highlights this.

GagaJo Fri 10-Jul-20 10:22:02

My neighbourhood has changed since I moved here unfortunately. It was quite elderly when I bought the house hence very quiet. A lot of those elderly owners died and young families moved in. No longer quiet. I have no problem with childrens noise but night time noise and general background noise is irritating.

During lockdown there was a lot of failure to social distance. Selfish and also unfair. My poor grandson could see and hear neighborhood children playing but not be able to join in.