Gransnet forums


Mothering Sunday and a lost child ...

(68 Posts)
Imperfect27 Sat 05-Mar-16 08:41:00

We have shared so much on GN about Mothering Sunday (Mother's Day if you prefer) and the ins and outs of whether we set much store by it, what we want / hope for / won't get in terms of visits etc.

I just want to send out hugs across the ether for all those of you who have lost a child / children. This can make what should be a happy day, another difficult day to be managed, even if you have other children.

I know I will inevitably think of my lovely DD2 and I know I need to do something in memory of my lost child this day. I have old cards she sent me that I can look at, but this has just made me more sad in the past. I can go to her grave (not that she is there...) and I will have some flowers in the house. I will remind myself of the very beautiful and unique person she was, how she was loved and cherished, how she will never, ever be forgotten, how she made me a better person for being her parent ...

So, for those of you that carry this ache, flowers and a great big cyber hug. xx

Luckygirl Sat 05-Mar-16 09:03:38

What a thoughtful message - flowers to all who find themselves in this sad situation. I am sending you Mother's Day wishes, as I am sure your children would have done. I hope that your happy memories can sustain you.

AlieOxon Sat 05-Mar-16 09:08:37

My daughter died last May 3rd. I find I can't bear to go to the grave, but as you say, she isn't there. I have her last Mother's Day card and her photo up and keep flowers by it.
Only now am I beginning to find some happy memories, sometimes.
Grief comes in waves still.

Indinana Sat 05-Mar-16 09:12:03

Imperfect that was such a kindness to start this thread. To you, Alie and all the mums who have lost a child, my love and hugs for tomorrow flowers

shysal Sat 05-Mar-16 09:22:54

To all who are in this position (((hugs))) and flowers. I am quite ruthless about throwing cards in the recycling. I wonder whether I should start keeping the special ones? sad

mollie Sat 05-Mar-16 09:54:30

This is a tough weekend for me - birthday and Mother's Day and the memories attached to the son who isn't here now. I ought to think differently, change my attitude and not wallow but... flowers and hugs to everyone feeling a loss this weekend.

Alea Sat 05-Mar-16 10:09:57

flowers to all who have lost a child, or who feel the absence of their children.
I always shed my tears in October when our little boy was born and died, so now, in March, I will remember my dear late Father's birthday, and my own(!) and rejoice in my lovely (if occasionally exasperating) DDs and smilesmilesmile

Alea Sat 05-Mar-16 10:11:51

For those for whom tomorrow is a sad day.

Anya Sat 05-Mar-16 10:20:04

This is a day which brings back thoughts of what could have been..... what should have been sad

Stepnana4 Sat 05-Mar-16 11:31:35

Alea that brought a tear to my eyes. I will be thinking of my three babies and the 'if only' and daydreaming of how different my life would be. The longing for a family never goes no matter how much time passes.
But I'm very fortunate to still have my lovely mum with me and that helps a lot on what will be a bitter sweet day.

starbird Sat 05-Mar-16 11:41:42

Bless all you grieving mothers (and fathers, siblings, grandparents). Your post reminds the rest of us to be grateful for what we have.
I read a passge once, which I thought was a sweet analogy: a mother asked a wise sage why children were allowed to die. He replied that sometimes a gardener will dig out a young plant because it is growing too big for the space it is in, and puts it somewhere else so that it can flourish. He told the mother that her late child was very happy and blooming in her new garden and looking forward to meeting her mother again one day.

Kupari45 Sat 05-Mar-16 12:13:07

It's one month since My daughter died from Breast Cancer. She was 41 and a mum to three young children. We are just existing just now, and getting through the days the best we can. I cry every day for her.
However the last few days have been hard for the kids, specially my little granddaughter, as the class have been making Mothers day cards.
As for me, well last years Mothers day, Helen sent ma a lovely card and she dated it, and said now Mum you can put this up each year, its from me with love. So that's what I intend to do tomorrow.
My thoughts are with you all this weekend.

Stepnana4 Sat 05-Mar-16 12:28:26

Kupari45 my heart goes out to you and your family flowers

Nelliemoser Sat 05-Mar-16 13:07:39

(((hugs))) To all of you in this situation.

Teetime Sat 05-Mar-16 13:14:30

I'm glad you put this on imperfect its a real issue and a hard day for some people and it was kind and brave of you to acknowledge it.

Kupari I am especially thinking of you. flowers

morethan2 Sat 05-Mar-16 13:22:14

Kupari this time of year must be so hard for you. I send sincere condolences. What a poignant Mother's Day card. I will think of you tommorow. Bless you and your grandchildren.

Anya Sat 05-Mar-16 13:35:00

Oh Kupari what can I say? We are all so moved by your post. Tomorrow, will be hard, but then so will most days in the foreseeable future. I'll be thinking of you and your grandchildren tomorrow flowers

Auntieflo Sat 05-Mar-16 14:07:19

Kupari, what can I say except I hope all the loving wishes sent from the Gransnetters will uphold you today, tomorrow and in the coming times.

thatbags Sat 05-Mar-16 14:47:43

And a virtual hug for you too, imp.

mumofmadboys Sat 05-Mar-16 15:48:37

My thought and prayers are with you who have lost a child especially tomorrow.

Imperfect27 Sat 05-Mar-16 15:58:18

So many kind words here. I am glad Gransnet have provided a place for us to share and hopefully support one another along the way. XXX

mrsjones Sat 05-Mar-16 17:11:12

My thoughts are with you imp and all others who have lost a child. I am also thinking of the children who no longer have a mum to make or buy a card for. A friend of mine died 2 years ago leaving 2 children under 12. They miss their mum every day but special days like tomorrow are always hard.

Synonymous Sat 05-Mar-16 17:21:26

Blessings and flowers to all those grieving.

Imperfect27 Sat 05-Mar-16 17:38:11

It is a very sad time for bereaved children. Brenda - so sad for your GCs and I hope the school tried to offer special support - they should have made some provision when other children were making Mother's Day cards. We have bereavement counsellors that come into school and met with children - hopefully your GCs can benefit from something like this in time. xx

granjura Sat 05-Mar-16 17:42:24

Such sad and moving stories, so yes more flowers and (((hugs))) to those who are grieving children or grand-children.

It's sad to lose a mother or father- but it is in the nature of things. No parent should have to mourn a child or a grand-child.