Its two months since my lovely daughter died.

kupari

I have no words, other than to say I am sending you strength and much love x

Just thinking of you . I have a daughter and cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing a child . I can only compare to when I lost my mum. It will get better and she will live on in her children

Such an unbearable loss. My heart also goes out to you .

You must be going through a terrible time Kupari plus the worry you would have had previously with your DD so ill. I was at my mother's cousins funeral and my third cousin mentioned her DIL had recently died from breast cancer. I was very shocked and could hardly hold myself together. I had last seen my (third) cousin two years before when we met up and both happily chatted about both our three month old GDs and their four year old siblings. Two years later they were a very sad family.

I am glad you are able to spend time with your GC and SIL, my heart does go out to you.

Kupari thank you for sharing the rawness of your grief with us. I hope it helps to talk about it all like this. Sometimes friends just don't how how to respond and that can leave you feeling so alone with a huge sadness. I'd been wondering how you were, and would have messaged you if i could work out how to.
It sounds like you're being an enormous support to your son in law and the children. As others have said it's very early days still and it's no wonder you're experiencing lots of strong emotions, I hope you can find places in the real world too to talk about your feelings as you continue to get your head and heart around all that's happened in your family. Sending you love and

Kupari That must be the most unimaginable heartache - I can't bear it for you. Sending and very gentle hugs XX

kupari45 I can't bear to think about the pain you're going through, and the rest of your family. Your daughter will always be in your heart ❤ ?

Brenda I am so sorry for you and sorry too that you feel your friends don't want to listen when you talk about your daughter, but glad that you have felt able to come back to talk to us on GN.
Your daughter will live on through you and your grandchildren and you can help them keep her memory alive.
I hope your holiday helps you a little on your journey of acceptance

I can't add anything to what has been said on here. We lost our dear daughter in law to breast cancer, which was dreadful, but I have a daughter and what you are going through is beyond my imagining. My thoughts are with you. May you find the strength to deal with your loss. ?

Kupari, my heart goes out to you. Your post reminded me of how hard I was finding it all two months after losing my daughter - as you say, you come to that point of really knowing that they are 'gone', but missing them feels so very painful. These are the worst of times and every day is a huge effort. I found I was very tired and yes, I experienced a sense of physical pain too. I sometimes felt my heart would literally break. This is grief at its sharpest, but I want to reassure you that over time these physical symptoms - which are apparently common - do diminish and eventually pass. It takes time, but the grey will lift.

Of course, you will never be the person you were before, but please also be reassured that you will get stronger and that you can build a positive life - what your daughter would want for you, I am sure. It is now nearly ten years since my daughter (aged 12) died. I think of her loss as having written a fault line in me - the marks of love - but I have a good life and there have been new joys. You will never forget her - even though you may sometimes worry that you will, or find remembering difficult or too painful at present. All that she has been to you is etched in you and over time the raw sadness will give way to remembering without the great sense of pain you are carrying at present.

I have often thought of you since reading your first post. Take care and be as gentle with yourself as you can be,

xx

So sorry for your loss. Your daughter must have been (and still is ) so loved

Bereavement is learning to cope in small steps. There is always something to remind you, a birthday, Christmas, Mother's Day, a holiday. It won't go away. But 2 months is such a short time. We lost our niece aged 16 , 3 years ago and there is always going to be that gap in our lives. It's 100+ times worse for her mum, she was a single parent with an only child, she can never get on with her life in the same way. You have your GC to help you focus, She lives on through them.

You wrote so movingly Kupari. The hardest thing about losing a child or grandchild is that it is not what we expect...it isn't the normal order. We expect to lose our parents but not our children. You sound remarkably strong as it is such early days for you all. I don't think that you should feel that you can't talk about your daughter to your friends..if they are true friends, they will be there for you whatever. I need to talk about my lost grandsons as, although I have just about accepted that they are no longer with us, they are still part of our family . Talking keeps the memories alive . Many many things will be painful but that is part of the grieving process. Talk about her, cry about her., love her.
Bless you.

Kupari, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and I can only wish you well. From a practical point of view, I wonder if you have thought of writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal? I did that myself when I was going through a hard time (not as hard as yours) and it really helped me. I never showed the journal to anyone and, in fact, recently destroyed all the pages I would not want anyone else to read, but it was a relief to let all the angst I was feeling come out.

This is something we all dread, the loss of children however old they may be. The pain must be unbearable. So sorry to hear of your loss, for loss it must be. I hope you can continue to talk about your sadness and that you find some tiny amount of consolation in so doing.

Two months is such a short time. It makes me sad that you feel your friends are fed up with you speaking about your daughter. Maybe they think they're helping you by not speaking about her. Of course you want to speak about her why should you not. I'm not going to say I know how you feel but I just want to say that today and tonight you are in my thoughts and I wish you some peace. It's nice you have grandchildren to hug.

How brave of you to be supporting her children so well - keeping her memory alive and allowing them to talk about her. So good for them. Well done. I feel for your sadness.

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your pain. I am saddened that your friends are tired of you talking about your DD. I sincerely hope that you have mistaken this, for them, just not knowing how to comfort you.

She will always be alive through her children. I wept for you.

Bereavement is said to take on average two years to reach ' resolution'. It is still very early. Things will get better. Xx

I am so very sorry for your loss kupari there are no wordsI am thinking of you and hoping that there is comfort for you in knowing we here care.

My heartfelt sympathy to you.
My dear sister's husband died some years ago,after a terrible illness which lasted 9 years, and she says you don't get over it, you learn to accommodate it.
I wish you and your family well as you begin the l-o-n-g road without her creating new memories for you all.

Your beautiful daughter is alive in your head and your heart and those of her partner and her children. It is such a difficult time, that raw year ot two after someone beloved has died. You will always miss her but living day to day may become easier. It is still early days and your grief is still with you. Take care and in time the grief will lessen.

kupari my heart goes out to you. Such heartache