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Anniversary sadness

(45 Posts)
grannyactivist Thu 26-May-16 14:29:31

Today is the anniversary of my son in law's death, he was killed in Afghanistan at the age of twenty six. My husband was on a solo cycle ride in Norway at the time and immediately abandoned his trip and flew home to be with the family. The situation today is that my daughter has remarried to another military man and he is currently on a tour of duty abroad (we're not allowed to know where) and my husband is once again cycling solo in Norway. People are very kind and understand the difficulties of the day so I have had quite a few texts and calls, but to be honest I feel sick every time my phone rings.

No other anniversary has felt quite this bad, this one feels almost unbearably poignant and my eyes have been leaking all day. I just feel terribly, terribly sad and also frustrated and angry at the waste of a young life. My sons are both feeling very emotional too. The younger one was very close to his brother in law and today he's sitting an end of year exam at uni, the older one - who is now twenty six himself - says he can't imagine how his wife would cope if something happened to him.

My daughter is understandably weepy, but has sensibly taken the day off work and is spending it at a Spa with a close friend who was bereaved last year (she lost her 3 year old son). We will visit the grave together on Saturday and have planned a lovely day together then. sad

wot Thu 26-May-16 14:33:25

Love and peace to you grannyactivist x

aggie Thu 26-May-16 14:37:42

I am lost for words at the sadness of this post ((((((hugs))))))

rosesarered Thu 26-May-16 15:34:02

Very sad, but your daughter will be happy again in time with her new husband.As she has chosen another military man, she is well aware of the risks.Hope you feel better soon GA although grieving in itself is not a bad thing.πŸ’

Lona Thu 26-May-16 15:39:05

grannya πŸ’ Like you said it's such a sad waste of a young life.

PRINTMISS Thu 26-May-16 16:06:21

Such a sad day Granny thinking of all that life might have held for such a young man and others like him. So many broken hearts. flowers

kittylester Thu 26-May-16 16:11:10

(((hugs))) Ga for you and your daughter and your DGS. What a waste. sad

Stansgran Thu 26-May-16 16:23:32


yogagran Thu 26-May-16 16:59:43


phoenix Thu 26-May-16 17:43:36

Thinking of you and your family and sending every good wish to you all


Greyduster Thu 26-May-16 17:57:21

Hope both you and your daughter find some solace in your remembrance ga. I remember your posts from when this was still very raw for you, and I know what it is like to suffer with your child when they lose their life partner. I also know what it is like to have a husband in the military risking all in a conflict zone. I hope your DD will have a very happy and peaceful life with her new husband. πŸ’πŸ’

morethan2 Thu 26-May-16 18:04:51

I expect it's very normal to feel as you do. Grief is very hard to deal with and anniversaries often bring it back to the fore. I send you and your family my thanks for your sacrifice it must be very hard to bear. flowers and a ((((hug))) thinking of you.

AlieOxon Thu 26-May-16 18:32:20

Thinking of you GA flowers.

It's three weeks after the first anniversary of my daughter's death now, and it's a bad time, as my would-have-been son-in-law K is having a nervous breakdown and we are very worried about him.

On top of that I've quarreled with my best friend here..... feeling very down.

Greyduster Thu 26-May-16 18:42:19

AlieOxon sad. Sending you a ((hug)).

Luckygirl Thu 26-May-16 19:10:24

A difficult day for all your family ga.

And flowers to you Alie.

cornergran Thu 26-May-16 19:22:48

Such a sad day for you and your family ga, the similarities are bound to bring the sadness back and of course I am remembering your own health worries. Sending flowers and wishes for a peaceful sleep tonight. Also flowers for you allie, life is hard sometimes.

Gagagran Thu 26-May-16 19:55:44

I hope the day has not been one of unremitting sadness but has had a few happier memories of your lost SiL Ga and that as the years go by they fill the anniversary day more than the pain of loss.

There will be many sorrowing hearts as these anniversaries of too-early deaths come round throughout the years and we all owe these brave young warriors a debt of huge gratitude.

I come from an army family, Father, both brothers and nephew all regular soldiers with many years service at home and abroad and I know how stressful it is for those left at home whilst they are away.

flowers for all who grieve.

morethan2 Thu 26-May-16 20:13:26

Allie I'm sending you a (((hug))) I do hope you patch things up with your friend. Your having such a tough time. I wish I could say somthing to help

Grannyben Thu 26-May-16 20:13:41

I didn't feel that I should leave you a message as my words don't seem enough to convert how sorry I am that your dear son in law gave his life for his country but, it also seems wrong to not let you know that you are in people's thoughts and, tonight, I will include him and your dear family in my prayers. God bless xx

kittylester Thu 26-May-16 20:18:44

(((hugs))) for you alie. I wish there was more we could do or say. Try to make up with your friend. flowers

AlieOxon Thu 26-May-16 21:06:54

I will try but at the moment I don't know quite what to say...

Thanks everybody for your thoughts and I also send flowers for others who

Indinana Thu 26-May-16 21:20:17

Grannya and alie, there are no words. ((((hugs)))) and flowers for you both.

merlotgran Thu 26-May-16 21:55:19

Sorry to hear you've both had a sad day, ga and Alie. Hope tomorrow is a better for you.

Galen Thu 26-May-16 22:36:31

Bad week for a few of us.
Bellasnana husband died 1year ago on 24th and my husband died 13years ago on the 23rd
May they all rest in peace.

grannyactivist Thu 26-May-16 22:43:31

Oh dear Alie sometimes it seems it never rains, but it pours! I do hope your son in law gets help and that your friendship is soon restored. Sending you a (((hug))) and flowers.

I finally went into town late this afternoon and came across a young man who needed a bed for the night. He promised me he isn't an axe murderer and asked for assurances that I'm not one either and is now soundly sleeping (I hope) upstairs. I am absolutely bonkers I know!