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Bereavement

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I miss my MiL

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morethan2 Thu 06-Apr-17 15:07:37

My MiL died in January. We had our ups and downs and she often poked her nose in. Mainly because she loved her son, my husband. We argued but never held a grudge. She often confided in me. I suppose it was easier because we didn't have any baggage. Our relationship matured over 40+ years and we came to love each other and we were very close. I lost my own mother at 22 so in a way she became a surrogate. A few days ago my husband received a text asking for his details to pay in his share of the estate. It's not much about £3000 + more than we expected. It's forced me to realise I'll never see her again. I've been so busy comforting her daughter that I hadn't really thought of it. Today I feel really tearful. I can't share this with her daughter who is still distraught. I don't want to upset my husband. I feel as if my own family and freinds might feel "she was only your MiL" but she was part of my whole married life. I'd love a memento but feel awful asking because I'm only the DiL. I'm telling you because I can't tell anyone else.

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PamQS Sun 09-Apr-17 16:53:19

My mum in law died unexpectedly in September - I miss her dreadfully, she's left a much bigger gap in my life than I realised. I've felt unwilling to say how upset I am, because it seems like detracting from my DH's grief. This is partly because my sister went completely over the top when her ex's mum died and I didn't want to do the same thing. But I've ended up having to go to counselling because I started to feel depressed.

Look after yourself, do whatever it takes. The loss of someone who's shared some aspects of your family life for 40 years is a big thing.

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Galena Thu 13-Apr-17 10:43:54

I miss my MIL too. She could be exasperating, was very different from me in many ways, and our relationship wasn't always easy. But she loved my husband, my daughter, and me more than I realised. She died in February, and she left me her engagement and eternity rings - to say I was stunned and surprised is an understatement - I find I miss her very much indeed.

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