death of an old friend

in the past four or five years i've lost too many friends. a few deaths were sort of expected [but still a shock] and some were a complete shock.
one or two of these friends were on facebook and we didn't meet up very often - but emailed regularly.
while i wasn't able to get to some of the funerals [distance was one factor] i still miss all of them.
however i suppose i'm now getting to the age when i should expect to be losing friends - not all have died on the dreaded big c [only three of them]. but the one which affected me the most was my best friend who flew off on holiday only to unfortunately collapse and die the following day very unexpectedly.

Hugs to you, death even when expected is always so shocking, live every day as they say x

How sad; I'm sure your phone call meant a lot - so often people don't call or phone as they don't know what to say. From reading these posts it seems that many of us don't speak or write or email as much as we might with family and friends. A salutary lesson TriciaF; and enjoy the happy memories of your friend.

So sorry for your loss. It is strange how some folks keep in touch and others drift apart. Despite being a senior I use Facebook and last year dis covered some old school chums from 50 years ago. My own family are the worst for keeping in touch...do you find that? One or two of us write regularly and I mean write...you know pen..paper...stamps...but otherwise it's weddings christenings and funerals. As for funerals I like to think they are really for the living...those left behind..so don't worry if you didn't find out until later on...a card and letter even a year later often has a more profound impact on the bereaved as they have time to digest the sentiment expressed.? I mean not deliberately of course but because you just found out? Although remembering after the event is good too as so often a year on it's just another date except to you. I hope you enjoy the happy memories of your friend for years to come. That is their legacy. To this day I cannot make a cup of tea without thinking of my friend always telling me to boil the kettle with fresh water for every cup. A lasting memory that cascades many others. Love, Jo x

Last week my niece organised a hastily arranged 67th birthday party for one of my sisters who has terminal cancer. Although sad because of my sisters illness we had an absolutely fabulous time. My family are now spread over England and Wales and it was difficult for some to get there (I had to leave hubby at home as we have a guest house and it was a 3 train 7 hour journey) but it was so worth it.
It made me think how sad how we all lose contact and we should show more love whilst we can.
I am 61 on Monday and in the last few years have noticed so many friends and acquaintances passing and last year lost my lovely Sister-in-Law.
They say we are all living longer but I don't see much evidence of this.

We just heard that one of our old friends died two weeks ago and the funeral has already taken place. If we'd known sooner we might have tried to go although he lived about four hundred miles away.

We were really close in our teens/ early tweties and went to each others'weddings but then, because of moves around the country and abroad, hardly ever met whilst our families grew up. It was just an annual update on a Xmas card for many years. In the last twenty years or so we exchanged one or two visits but the last was eight years ago. In spite of this minimal contact we still felt he was a good friend and it is a shock to discover that he's gone. We must make more of an effort to get together with folk who've become just names on Xmas cards. Tempis fugit.

Thanks for the replies. We had some fun together (don't ask.)

It's always a shock when one of our friends die, isn't it? Sometimes we are expecting the bad news, and sometimes not.
TriciaF it's good that you had a conversation with the family, things like that can mean a lot to the bereaved.

Just sorry for your loss of a good friend. R I P Judy

I am sorry for your loss

Sad news for you - so sorry to hear this. It is a strange feeling when people from our past die.