My beloved child

My deepest care respect and love go to you at this sad time.
I am so so sorry.

Annie

Thank you all so much, you and you alone brought me through the darkest of days, my first post in this thread was made in shock and the blackness of grief and despair . Every post you added made each day bearable and Stop All The Clocks came less to mind,

Now I must move forward , decisions to make, a different path to take.

When I woke this morning I ponder on the decisions, younger daughter is on her way back to Lincolnshire, she wants me to move there , I though of this in the night - damn reflux- and on waking this morning. What is there to keep me here now. I put the radio on, Desert Island Discs had started, no idea who the guest was , I think I tuned in for her second or third choice -

Morrison Orpheus Choir singing

Mor Fawr Wyt Ti,

youtu.be/vcLFdkhUTPI

We sang it yesterday but in English

I will share it with you , so one decision made

Annie, I posted earlier, but it's disappeared into the ether. Lots to think about in the coming days. Hope you are still managing , little and often to eat. Still thinking of you and sending love. Take care of yourself.

?and hugs Annie
I too listened to Desert Island Discs this morning, tears came to my eyes hearing this hymn and I thought of you too.
I'm sending love too X

Well done, annie . I am sure there must be many friends around you who really admire the way you have coped these last two weeks.

Go gently with yourself annie: perhaps best not to rush decisions, although I understand some must be made. Sending love.

Not a rushed decision, I cannot leave Wales

I was more concerned you would feel you needed to go with your daughters wishes, annie, leaving your country would be huge. Go gently with yourself. X

Couldn't leave the mountains cornergran, and Lincolnshire is rather flat , sorry Lincolnshire posters

I know what you mean about flat - we are surrounded by hills and small mountains (S Wales ones) and I could not leave them. They are somehow comforting. You need he familiar around you just now.

How proud you must have felt of your DD yesterday amongst all the sadness. x

I know what you mean Annie. Your heart is in Wales and it is 'home'. I too would love to live amongst breathtaking scenery. It is too soon to think about moving on.

It is often after the funeral when things are less busy that the awful grief and trauma you have experienced in losing a loved one hits home. I am thinking of you, wishing you peace and sending love over the ether.

I do hope you'll be wrapped in the wings of angels as you face the days to come Annie. I know when my grief on bereavement seemed just to much to bear and I was sinking in it, I felt warmth and protection and a sense of peace come over me. I believe I had angels with me but I know some people will pooh-pooh that suggestion. It gave me a sense of peace and a strength to carry on and I wish that for you too.

I am sure Angels were with you Day6 x

I receive a letter this morning from one of our Assembly Members, I didn't know she was there yesterday, she said my girl would be remembered as a lovely, lively person who had a huge enthusiasm for life .

Annie, remember too 'they' say, don't make any major changes to your life in the first year after a bereavement..

humpty, I don't have any major decisions to make now I have decided not to leave Wales. Suppose I have to find ways to spend my days now my daughter no longer needs my care and my grandchildren are in university , the house seems so quiet, so empty .

One day at time dear Annie, for now wrap yourself in cotton wool and try and rest as much as you can. God will lead you. Xxx

Lincolnshire isn’t all flat (Lincoln certainly isn’t) and it’s a wonderful place to go for holidays. A surprising amount to see and do. Perhaps you could arrange to go and stay for a couple of weeks some time in the nearish future so you have something to look forward to?

Right now is time to curl up, rest, nibble chocolates (or whatever you can) and watch old films on the telly! Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

Quite understandable Annie Wales is your home
but if you do decide at a later date to be nearer your daughter, just remember that you can take the 'girl' out of Wales,
But you can't take Wales out of the 'girl'.?

Annie, the advice always given is 'wait a year' before making any life changing decisions

For now, raise the heating thermostat, wear comfort clothes, even pyjamas all day, eat comfort food and look at photographs and memories of your DD and cry until you can cry no more. That moment does come. Then, tiny step by tiny step lift your head. Spring will probably be just beginning by then so like the solitary snowdrop,coming from the cold ground in to the uncertain warmth of spring, you too can begin very slowly to assemble a different life.

I accept there may come a time when I will have to move, I don't want to cause my much loved younger daughter worry ,but until then I am staying here.

Mothers say when their child is diagnosed with a severe illness they wish it was them not their child. Same for me,my grief means my child is no longer in that living hell.

Beautiful words from MOnica which express so well what I wish for you Annie. Do stay in touch with people though. Virtual contact is perfect for winter days and we're only a click away. x

Ginny, I have been crying for seven years for her

I think it is wise to stay where you are for now Annie - as you say there may come a day when you feel the time has come to move on but then again it might not and that will be fine too. Home is not just bricks and mortar - it's where you've laid your roots and made your memories and where you take comfort from both. Your younger daughter is also grieving the loss of her sister and will worry about her mum but will also understand your need to stay where you are for now. Lincolnshire is beautiful - we left a property there last year but home is where the heart is. I hope tonight brings you some peaceful sleep. x

Hello annie. Just wondering how you are today. Still thinking of you x