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Bereavement

My beloved child

(1001 Posts)
Anniebach Wed 01-Nov-17 18:45:42

My beloved daughter took her life in the early hours of this morning.

My first born, my joy, my best friend , my laughter, my tears

I am broken

Annie

lemongrove Sat 18-Nov-17 12:04:39

Keep this thread going for as long as you need it Annie it will fizzle out when you want it to.smile Sometimes it’s easier to tell troubles to those who are not too close to you.
I do wonder if when you are feeling healthier and have put weight on, that another little dog in your household would help both you and Lottie.

Anniebach Sat 18-Nov-17 12:13:21

Lemon, stand by I am going to start a second me me thread ?

lemongrove Sat 18-Nov-17 12:21:14

Well, why not indeed? grin

kittylester Sat 18-Nov-17 12:37:50

Annie, I have no wise words but send lots of love and healing thoughts. You are allowed to feel down, you've just lost your beloved daughter. flowers

After my baby brother died my Mum wouldn't lock the door, so he could get in if he wanted to. Silly really as he was only two and a half when he died and couldn't walk. It helped her a lot though. If I know one of the children is going through a hard time, I always leave the door unlocked. It's mother's instinct and the right thing to do.

Keep talking to us!

Anniebach Sat 18-Nov-17 13:05:12

kitty, I cannot lock it, I know she isn't going to walk in, but I still feel it should be kept unlocked for her , does make sense I know

humptydumpty Sat 18-Nov-17 13:10:06

Annie I can absolutely relate to that.

Is there any possibility that you could take in maybe a rescue dog, to keep you and your beloved Lottie company?

Anniebach Sat 18-Nov-17 15:15:08

Humpty, I started a dog thread ?

I forget for a little while suddenly I think -.she is late texting today, followed by - she will never text me again and why didn't she text me that night, this is hard to understand and there will never be an answer

Morgana Sat 18-Nov-17 15:22:30

Thinking of you earlier and found myself humming 'one more step along the road I go....its from the old I travel to the new ....keep me traveling along with you. ' I am sure that as the days go by, new paths will open to you.

NfkDumpling Sat 18-Nov-17 15:30:42

You've been through so much Annie, perhaps it's not such a bad thing to sit and be solitary for a while. Time to get yourself fitter (and fatter). You need time to mend.

As you already have a dog walker, have you thought of contacting the Cinnamon Trust to see if they have a little dog you could long term foster to keep you and Lottie company?

Crafting Sat 18-Nov-17 15:45:47

annie you are right to start another thread. Speaking (?) for myself (but probably others too) I have thought about you so much over the last few weeks that I feel I don't want to lose that contact. I, for one, would like to hear how you are getting on, without wishing to intrude, and would like to continue posting as long as you feel up to it. Is it possible you could make contact with your sister who had he heart problem? Maybe she would like to hear from you? I'm off now to track down the dog thread x

Anniebach Sat 18-Nov-17 16:09:49

The daughter of my sister in hospital has made contact with my younger daughter today and they are going to have a chat when my sister is home and on the road to recovery . My niece also sent me a text to say her mother hopes to be home today. So , who knows

Crafting Sat 18-Nov-17 16:33:19

Fingers crossed annie

cornergran Sat 18-Nov-17 17:34:16

Each little bit of contact is positive annie, your niece is communicating with you and with your daughter. As you say, who knows, but it could be a positive sign. Look after yourself.

Jalima1108 Sat 18-Nov-17 18:13:44

I am glad you have decided to stay where you are, at least for the time being, Annie. They do say not to make any major decisions about moving etc after a bereavement and Wales is in your DNA. Wales would still be with you wherever you went but perhaps you need to be there for the foreseeable future. Could you make the trip to Lincolnshire to see your younger daughter, perhaps for a couple of weeks?

This is not a good time of year to be outdoors and getting through the 'first' of everything will be difficult so perhaps another little dog will give you a focus. I haven't read the other 'dog' thread, but will do so now.

No, you are not 'whingeing' and in fact I think you are very brave to 'venture out' on to one or two of the other threads!

I do hope that perhaps some progress could be made now that your niece and your younger daughter are chatting.

Take care

NfkDumpling Sat 18-Nov-17 18:26:54

Your niece making contact is such a positive sign. Fingers crossed!

Anniebach Sat 18-Nov-17 18:51:24

I do worry about my sisters , next one down from me has Parkinson's, next one down from her heart problems, next one down from her was very close to my elder daughter , was her Godmother and only fifteen years older, she has been in a dead marriage for a long time , works full time as a pharmacist and travels most weekends to Plymouth to see her little grandchildren. It troubles me when I don't know how they are. We will see.

Jalima1108 Sat 18-Nov-17 18:56:07

The fact that you worry about them shows that you do still care about them. With family, we can still love them or care about them even if we don't like some of the things they do.

Anniebach Sat 18-Nov-17 19:15:58

So true Jalima, I care for them and about them, I wouldn't choose them as friends and they wouldn't choose me, I am the cuckoo in the nest ?

BBbevan Sat 18-Nov-17 19:28:10

This has been one of the most heart wrenching threads ever. Not only for Anniebach, Nonnie and others who have had such troubles. But because it has shown what wonderful people there are on GN. There have been unkind posts, grumpy posts and angryposts across GN in the past. This thread has brought out the best in all of us.
God Bless Annie andNonnie

Norah Sat 18-Nov-17 19:33:48

You seem to be progressing so well, it's lovely to read.

Anniebach Sat 18-Nov-17 19:37:09

I admit I have been moved to tears by the posts, the care, concern, comfort, got me through the darkest of times, I fear to think if GN hadn't been here what I would have done. It was only from here did I get the courage to get in the van, by the by, it was very clean

Jalima1108 Sat 18-Nov-17 20:20:16

I wouldn't choose them as friends
isn't that often the case with relatives!

I am the cuckoo in the nest
You mean that you are an individual and that is something to be proud of.

sorry, of which to be proud!

Jalima1108 Sat 18-Nov-17 20:22:20

I'm glad the van was clean, perhaps they got it valeted. We have some wonderful Polish car cleaners/valeters near us.

NannyTee Sat 18-Nov-17 20:25:45

Anniebach I am quite new to GN but I am crying genuine tears for you right now. Accept my love and best wishes to you and yours . I too have had my share of heartache so can completely understand where you are . You are not alone xx

Anniebach Sat 18-Nov-17 20:43:08

NannyTee, how kind, thank you.

Jalima, my brother wouldn't pay to have the van valated, some men on the firm did it.

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