My son, Annie's daughter and all taken too young

Nonnie I'm really sorry, it's hard not to know. She was obviously much older but v fit, my close friend died in January this year. Went to bed perfectly fine and her husband woke up to find her dead beside him in the morning. No reason found. Very shocking and so sad for all. If you need a listening ear please pm me. Thinking of you, Annie and all the other mothers who belong to a club nobody wants to join xx

Thanks Twice

Just feel I need to say that we don't know how our lovely son died. We have to wait until February for an inquest but DS3 has read all the reports and there is nothing to indicate a reason for his death.

It is understandable that people would speculate why a fit and healthy man in his 40s would die unless by his own hand but the police didn't think that was the case. One 'friend' made that assumption and said as much in an email. I responded asking them not to make any assumptions and they have not apologised. No longer a friend as far as I am concerned.

DH keeps saying that he died of a broken heart. That is certainly the most likely answer we can think of.

Twice, I haven't heard that before, it's beautiful. Two of my dearest friends lost their children. One, just before she received her GSCE results, and another was just 21 and newly engaged. So, thinking of all those who bear the unbearable. Love to all.

Thank you both Willow and Solitaire I'm glad you "get it"

Twice, and all who have lost beloved children. ?????? X
Forever in your heart ?

Twice as Nice that's beautiful. I know it's trite but the saying it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved (or been loved) at all is very true.

This was read at my sons funeral by one of the lovely vicars who led it.

Gods Lent Child

I'll lend you for a little while
A child of mine God said
For you to love the while he lives (or she)
And mourn for when he's dead
It may be six or seven years
Or forty two or three
But will you, till I call him back
Take care of him for me

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
And should his stay be brief
You'll have all of your memories
As solace for your grief
I cannot promise he will stay
Since all from Earth return
But there are lessons taught below
I want this child to learn

I've looked the whole world over
In my search for teachers true
And from the ones who crowd life's lane
I have chosen you
Now will you give him all your love
Nor think the labour vain
Nor hate me when I come to take
This lent child back again

I fancied that I heard them say
Dear Lord thy will be done
For all the joys this child will bring
The risk of grief we'll run
We'll shelter him with tenderness
We'll love him whilst we may
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay
But should the Angels call for him
Much sooner than we planned
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand

I would rather have had my son for the time I had him than not at all. He left his mark on my world and on many others. Angels took him and I felt that and my comfort is that I will see him again. He is still my son and always will be and I love him

morethan

I have no words to express how sad this is - I have 2 sets of friends who have lost their adult children recently - it's heartbreaking and I too send my condolences to you all

I send my most sincere condolences to all of you who must live with the loss of your child/children. I can hardly breath at the thought of such pain.
I asked my DiLs mother how she was sleeping after the news on that harrowing half term news of her daughters terminal diagnoses her answer was “I'll never sleep well again” I expect that’s true. One of the things I find hardest is having to watch her pain. and tears for you all (much good it’ll do) I am so very sorry for your loss

So much pain here, just unimaginable grief for all those of you who have lost a child.

Bellasnana the last two lines of your post say it all really.
There is no name to describe a parent that loses a child
For there is no word to describe such pain.

Sending heartfelt love to you all

Sending love to those here who lost a much loved child to suicide. That's a beautiful poem Nonnie. It reminded me strongly of my cousin who died after binge drinking for several days. He was 34 and had previously attempted to take his own life a number of times. His death was not recorded as suicide but I remember despite my grief, hoping he now felt free.
Life can be so much harder for some of us can't it x/

You took your life as lovers often do
I could have told you Vincent
This life was never meant
For one who is as beautiful as you

I always remember those lines from Don McLean's "Vincent" (Starry, starry night)

For all the mums and dads who have lost a child

As many know, my darling DS1 2 took his own life on December 12th, 2008, aged 19. I think of him literally every day, and often have dreams (some good, some not so good ) about him.

Sending much love, and some understanding to all those who have lost a child, at whatever age, and by whatever means.

Sending kind thoughts to all who are grieving

Such terribly sad stories, I'm in tears for you all. No words are adequate.

Then dear Nonnie they know they are just as important x

Oh I do Annie and I panic when they are on a journey and insist they text when they arrive. When they were on the same plane, coming 'home' as soon as they heard their brother had died I was in a terrible state, couldn't cope with the thought that it could happen to them too.

Thanks everyone for your kindness.

Nonnie, tell them how much they are loved x

Years ago I used to watch TV on Christmas morning, cosy in my own home enjoying the Christmas festivities, while a celebrity visited children in a cancer ward. How dreadful, I would think but it was so far removed from anything I could imagine happening in our family. Fast forward a few years and there I was visiting my lovely nephew in a cancer ward, seeing unimaginable things. He didn't make it (he was 16) and his mother never got over it and died herself a few years later. Nonnie the part about other children is so difficult. My nephew's brother was very small at the time and he lost his brother and his mum. His life has not been easy but he is doing well.

How do we show our other children that they are just as important as the one we grieve for when all they can see is our grief? They have lost a sibling, I know how that feels too but I am the one they are comforting when I want to comfort them but don't know how. I am sure their wives are doing so but I want them to know how precious they are to me too. It is all just too hard to bear.

So sad thank you for sharing Nonnie I can’t bear the thought of the pain of losing a child xx

I have tears as i write thinking of a good friend who has lost her child to a cruel illness and whose funeral is today.
Reiterating annies words.
Day6, i think of your friend and her son.

Nonnie and all Mothers who have lost a child, let us be thankful that they came into our lives . I no longer have my beloved first born with me but she was my child, she still is my child will always be my child. Death cannot change this

X

Nonnie...beautiful words too...