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My son, Annie's daughter and all taken too young

(107 Posts)
Nonnie Fri 17-Nov-17 10:03:51

I have no idea why I am driven to share this today. Maybe it is the date, 17th was always a special number for us and we believe it was his last full day of life.

This poem was sent to us by his Godmother and I have already shared it with Annie. May it bring comfort to all who have lost an adult child, especially those who were suffering.

I'm Free

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard his call,
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I've found that peace at the close of the day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My Life's been full, I savoured much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch,

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.

He is no longer in pain which is our only comfort.

Marydoll Fri 17-Nov-17 10:13:30

Nonnie, I am going to save this poem, it has touched me greatly. Thank you.
I'm so sorry you are feeling sad today. So much pain on GN just now. flowers

Bellasnana Fri 17-Nov-17 10:36:59

This popped up on my Facebook today. The loss of a child of any age is unbearable and every parent's worst nightmare.

My deepest sympathy to Nonnie, Annie and all who grieve flowers

Jamison Fri 17-Nov-17 11:06:29

How.beautiful Nonnie, sincere condolences to you x

MissAdventure Fri 17-Nov-17 11:23:24

A good friend recently sent me this..

silverlining48 Fri 17-Nov-17 11:25:26

I will add my condolences to all who have lost a child and to all who grieve today and every day. Its a journey no parent ever wants to take. Thanks bellasnan and nonnie. flowers

Day6 Fri 17-Nov-17 11:29:42

Bellasnana. That reduced me to tears. I am thinking of a friend.

There is a young man now lying in a hospital bed, waiting for death to come. He has been given weeks to live and a hospice place is being sought for him. He is never going back to his bedroom at home. A month ago he thought he'd be able to live with his illness, and so did his Mum, but doctors broke it to them that his life will end soon. And he cried. He is lying there knowing he hasn't long and it is so wrong. He is such a decent, hard working, loving young man.

I cannot think of his mother without feeling my insides twist and tears springing to my eyes. I do not know what to say to her. I feel pain for her situation. She is in Hell, pure agony. It is a parent's worst nightmare.

My deepest sympathy to all of you who have lost a child. A dear friend lost her daughter in her teens, thirty years ago and she hasn't stopped grieving that loss, ever. She says people imagine she is 'over it' but she says she is changed for ever and hurts every day.

Life can be so cruel.

Day6 Fri 17-Nov-17 11:31:10

Nonnie...beautiful words too... flowers

Anniebach Fri 17-Nov-17 11:42:57

Nonnie and all Mothers who have lost a child, let us be thankful that they came into our lives . I no longer have my beloved first born with me but she was my child, she still is my child will always be my child. Death cannot change this


silverlining48 Fri 17-Nov-17 11:53:10

I have tears as i write thinking of a good friend who has lost her child to a cruel illness and whose funeral is today.
Reiterating annies words.
Day6, i think of your friend and her son.

BlueBelle Fri 17-Nov-17 12:06:14

So sad thank you for sharing Nonnie I can’t bear the thought of the pain of losing a child xx

Nonnie Fri 17-Nov-17 12:44:41

How do we show our other children that they are just as important as the one we grieve for when all they can see is our grief? They have lost a sibling, I know how that feels too but I am the one they are comforting when I want to comfort them but don't know how. I am sure their wives are doing so but I want them to know how precious they are to me too. It is all just too hard to bear.

KatyK Fri 17-Nov-17 12:56:46

Years ago I used to watch TV on Christmas morning, cosy in my own home enjoying the Christmas festivities, while a celebrity visited children in a cancer ward. How dreadful, I would think but it was so far removed from anything I could imagine happening in our family. Fast forward a few years and there I was visiting my lovely nephew in a cancer ward, seeing unimaginable things. He didn't make it (he was 16) and his mother never got over it and died herself a few years later. Nonnie the part about other children is so difficult. My nephew's brother was very small at the time and he lost his brother and his mum. His life has not been easy but he is doing well.

Anniebach Fri 17-Nov-17 13:00:17

Nonnie, tell them how much they are loved x

Nonnie Fri 17-Nov-17 13:39:17

Oh I do Annie and I panic when they are on a journey and insist they text when they arrive. When they were on the same plane, coming 'home' as soon as they heard their brother had died I was in a terrible state, couldn't cope with the thought that it could happen to them too.

Thanks everyone for your kindness.

Anniebach Fri 17-Nov-17 13:55:54

Then dear Nonnie they know they are just as important x

seacliff Fri 17-Nov-17 14:52:17

Such terribly sad stories, I'm in tears for you all. No words are

nanaK54 Fri 17-Nov-17 17:24:04

Sending kind thoughts to all who are grieving

phoenix Fri 17-Nov-17 17:39:31

As many know, my darling DS1 2 took his own life on December 12th, 2008, aged 19. I think of him literally every day, and often have dreams (some good, some not so good sad) about him.

Sending much love, and some understanding to all those who have lost a child, at whatever age, and by whatever means.

TerriBull Fri 17-Nov-17 17:55:03

You took your life as lovers often do
I could have told you Vincent
This life was never meant
For one who is as beautiful as you

I always remember those lines from Don McLean's "Vincent" (Starry, starry night)

For all the mums and dads who have lost a child flowers

Iam64 Fri 17-Nov-17 18:06:10

Sending love to those here who lost a much loved child to suicide. That's a beautiful poem Nonnie. It reminded me strongly of my cousin who died after binge drinking for several days. He was 34 and had previously attempted to take his own life a number of times. His death was not recorded as suicide but I remember despite my grief, hoping he now felt free.
Life can be so much harder for some of us can't it x/

Bathsheba Fri 17-Nov-17 18:11:29

So much pain here, just unimaginable grief for all those of you who have lost a child.

Bellasnana the last two lines of your post say it all really.
There is no name to describe a parent that loses a child
For there is no word to describe such pain.

Sending heartfelt love to you all flowers

morethan2 Fri 17-Nov-17 18:28:03

I send my most sincere condolences to all of you who must live with the loss of your child/children. I can hardly breath at the thought of such pain.
I asked my DiLs mother how she was sleeping after the news on that harrowing half term news of her daughters terminal diagnoses her answer was “I'll never sleep well again” I expect that’s true. One of the things I find hardest is having to watch her pain. flowers and tears for you all (much good it’ll do) I am so very sorry for your loss

Willow500 Fri 17-Nov-17 22:13:10

I have no words to express how sad this is - I have 2 sets of friends who have lost their adult children recently - it's heartbreaking and I too send my condolences to you all flowers

Bathsheba Fri 17-Nov-17 23:03:31

morethan flowers