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Bereavement

For all the babies.....

(43 Posts)
MawBroon Fri 05-Oct-18 09:03:25

45 years ago I went into hospital to have our first baby. We were thrilled to have a little boy and equally devastated when he died 24 days later. I realise that had he lived I probably wouldn't have had our wonderful 3 daughters and 4 amazing grandchildren whom I love more than life itself, but still ....................I shall shed a tear tomorrow for the memories of what was initially such a happy time and what might have been.

Luckygirl Fri 05-Oct-18 09:04:55

flowers

Teetime Fri 05-Oct-18 09:14:04

I'm with you mawbroon. RIP flowers

Alygran Fri 05-Oct-18 09:17:21

flowers

chocolatepudding Fri 05-Oct-18 10:01:20

I received an email from The Lullaby Trust regarding Baby Loss Awareness Week 9th to 15 October and I cried.

My first DD died in her cot a few days before Christmas 1976. I learn at lot from that awful experience. It was the first funeral I attended, trying to cope with people's tactless words and the press coverage too.

DD is remembered everyday and I too wonder what our lives might have been if she had lived.. RIP little one xx

ChaosIncorporated Fri 05-Oct-18 10:52:08

flowers *Maw". And for everyone who has walked this path.

My son was 6 months old, and he would be 40 this year. Tears can still run fresh.
chocolatepudding ...I think Baby Awareness Week hit many of us, so you are far from alone.

ninathenana Fri 05-Oct-18 11:02:32

My heart goes out to you all flowers

kathsue Fri 05-Oct-18 11:19:33

flowers

Nonnie Fri 05-Oct-18 11:22:59

Thanks for posting this Maw, I'm in tears for you and for myself and for the 7, yes, not a typo, who I have never forgotten and never will. Also, of course, for the adult child I lost last year. I wish there had been support for us all back in those days and am glad there is now so that others don't feel so alone in their loss.

kittylester Fri 05-Oct-18 11:43:40

((hugs)) as always Maw. Thank you for sharing.

I should have a child who would be 40 around this time of year. I have been a bit weepy lately, and every year at this time, and I always forget why. He, I'm sure it was a boy, died in my womb (called a missed abortion then!). I know we probably wouldn't have had our youngest 2 daughters (and their children) if that hadn't have happened but it is something that is always there.

NonnaW Fri 05-Oct-18 11:49:02

flowers

Bathsheba Fri 05-Oct-18 11:52:58

I have been fortunate not to have been through such a loss. My heart breaks for all of you who carry the hurt deep inside you forever. My MiL lost a little one and I know she never, ever recovered.
flowers and (((hugs))) for all of you remembering this week and always.

Bathsheba Fri 05-Oct-18 11:54:25

Nonnie - 7, oh dear God 😢

downtoearth Fri 05-Oct-18 11:55:18

Maw kitty my first daughter lived 7 weeks,she would have been 40 a few weeks ago...I understand how you feel ,I am the same.....for all of you who have babies that have died flowers and hugsx

Granny23 Fri 05-Oct-18 12:21:26

The recent storyline on Gransnet must have stirred memories for many of us. I too would have had a 46 year old son now but instead I have a 45 year old much loved daughter and can't imagine life without her, or her daughter or the wonderful 'Guid Son' (SIL in standard English) who having lost his own parents years ago, is now part of our family as if he were our own son.

It is just Life (and death) isn't it? I try not to dwell on what might have been, but do remember the son I never had, particularly on his due date, which he did not reach.

cornergran Fri 05-Oct-18 12:22:15

I’ve not been in your position but remember my Mums sadness for the big brother I didn’t meet who left an empty place in our family. My heart goes out to you all. flowers

goldengirl Fri 05-Oct-18 12:37:32

I often think of my 2 babies who would now be 43! They died a day after each other soon after they were born. A consultant friend put me in touch with a person who was starting a charity and I served on the Steering Committee of what became SANDS and became an organiser for our area and a counsellor for a few years. My family knows about their siblings and I must admit I was terrified when their own babies were born as well as happy for them. I still remember the inane comments that were said at the time and the bravery of a close friend who told me about her pregnancy rather than letting me find out indirectly. It might sound trite but in spite of the dreadful sadness something positive has come out of it all. If it hadn't I don't think I would have coped at all.

Newatthis Fri 05-Oct-18 13:23:35

I worked for a charity that helped families whose children had died, or were terminally ill with cancer and leukaemia. The saddest comment I remember hearing was when a mum told me she didn't know what to say (just after she lost her child) to the child's sister who asked 'am I still a sister?" To all you brave and courageous families out there, my heart goes out to you.

UsedtobeGinger Fri 05-Oct-18 13:53:30

My DD crochets little soft white blankets and gives them to her local maternity hospital to wrap the little ones "born sleeping"
Her brother would be 30 now.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 05-Oct-18 14:10:32

💐🕯hugs and prayers

MawBroon Fri 05-Oct-18 15:38:41

Usedtobeginger flowers

ginny Fri 05-Oct-18 17:46:54

Thinking of all of you who have had to deal with such sadness. My youngest DD lost a baby that should have been born last month and has found talking about the experience with others in the same position helpful but it is not generally spoken about even these days. A close friend of hers had a baby a few days after hers would have been due and of course very pleased that all was well but another difficult time for her.

lemongrove Fri 05-Oct-18 17:58:35

Maw flowers

Bookatbedtime Fri 05-Oct-18 19:13:58

My little boy was born on bonfire night 36 years ago and died 4 months later in his pram when I was out shopping. I wasn't able to take my other sons to bonfire night parties for quite a few years. I've shed a few tears reading these posts and my heart goes out to you all.

paddyann Fri 05-Oct-18 19:53:27

My first live child would be 43 , she lived just 4 days ,the miscarriage of her twin and six later miscarriages are also remembered every day .I am lucky that I have 2 who survived and are wonderful people ,great parents and who have hearts of gold .They are however not replacements for the lost babies ,you cant replace any child .My thoughts are with you all who suffered the same loss,its one that you never get over ,just learn to live with