The ghoulishness of Hallowe’en?

Stanley Spencer was not a Victorian and his war paintings had a very definite message. The graphic depictions of Hell in the paintings of Hieronymos Bosch will have given many people nightmares over the centuries! That was their point. You may think me squeamish, but after our baby boy died I had weeks of nightmares about what night have been happening to his little body in his little white coffin.
I try not to let myself “go there” with “Paw” but were one of the boys (8 and 6) to ask if that is what has happened to Grandpa, I would find it distressing. There’s open and there’s allowing thoughts to grow which cannot be unthought.
I also find the equation of death/bodies/skulls /blood and gore a regrettable reflection of an age in which most people have very little direct experience of death - the elderly or indeed children dying at home, a family member laying out a body, keeping an open coffin in the house to be watched over and for neighbours to pay their respects etc
Nowadays we have a sanitised view of death , we leave it to undertakers, and crematorium staff, many people have never been present at a death or even seen a dead body.
So we might as well agree to differ.

Stanley Spencer certainly went in for open graves, and body parts are much in evidence in Hieronymus Bosch paintings. My DGC who was very close to my mum often asks questions about what happened to her Nanna. We explain she was very old and ill and her body was very tired. I would far rather talk to her about this than have her worry silently and if Halloween brings up a reason to do so then it's actually a good thing. None of my GC's think skeletons are scary. They know we all have one and are interested in how their body works. They also know the tat on sale is fake, probably because they have been talked to about it. Children who aren't of course may be scared and worry, but children worry about many things including monsters under the bed and noises in the night. We can't shelter them completely we can make sure they can talk about their fears and help them come to terms with them.

I don’t like Hallowean and feel it gets more ghoulish each year When I was in Ireland they follow US and have much more houses decorated with nasty things than we do over here There were houses done out with scary skeletons sitting in a doorway of cobwebs etc
Not for me

The Victorians did not go in for open graves and body parts!

Do you really want your DGC to make this association of blood and gore and death, which is certainly a part of life but need not be violent or horrifying.
How would you react if a DGC asked “is that what has happened to Grandpa?”
It seems to me that those who most get off on the horrors of Halloween are those to whom death seems a distant prospect.

I lost my mother recently as well and quite honestly the imagery of Haloween has little impact on me. It does seem that we are developing split personalities as far as death is concerned. The Victorians who were far more familiar with it had a number of practices we would describe as 'ghoulish' today. Among them photographing the dead body with the family (painting the eyes on the photo so they looked open), jewellery made from hair and other mementos. Perhaps if we spoke more openly about it and it wasn't completely wiped from normal life the paraphernalia of Halloween wouldn't seem so shocking. I sympathise with those who are upset by Halloween but I do wonder , do they find paintings like those of Stanley Spencer upsetting as well?

Maw in our part of the road we are just 3 houses and then a Pre-school/primary school, the house that is decorated is immediately next to the school. I would be really surprised if they haven't received complaints from parents if the little ones.

I have always hated it.

My children bobbed for apples - that was it.

That’s the sort of thing I mean. Thank God nobody around here has done anything like that.
How do I reconcile that with my daily walk up to the churchyard to DH’s grave?
How might the grandchildren regard Grandpa’s grave with these ghastly and ghoulish associations?
Is this the image of death we want to promote? And how hurtful is it to anybody who has been bereaved.

My next door neighbours turn their front garden and drive into a graveyard, complete with tomb stones, half open coffins, body parts and skeletons.

It looks something from a film set, but I am not overly keen on it.

My 6 year old GD is absolutely terrified of Halloween and will not dress up, go out trick or treating in the dark and doesn't want to even look at the guisers who come knocking on their door. Some of the older kids, teenagers perhaps, had the most horrible masks on last year and they alarmed me, let alone a little child. It's all become very gruesome.

I can certainly appreciate where you're coming from maw and I think there are elements that are totally overdone/inappropriate.

But , when I talk to my little grandchildren about Halloween they talk about the sweets ! They never mention skulls or graveyards and the only mention of a skeleton was 'look at me Nana - my inside is outside!'

I think little ones don't link such imagery with anything ( until older maybe) and they take it all at a much lighter level than we do.

Amazing really isn't it? Halloween is essentially concerned with death and horrendous injuries unyet as a society we abhor violence and don't talk about death until it affects us.
I can see how distasteful it is for the bereaved, myself included.
Do I disagree with celebrating it? I really don't know. Just an observation.

Hallowe’en never used to be like this. It has become something horrible and deeply wrong.

Perhaps we should celebrate All Saints' (Hallows') Day instead

I understand exactly what you mean Maw
My main beef with Halloween is the gory stuff, the bloodied knives, severed hands and so on all as you walk into a store.
I witnessed a sobbing 3 year old with his Mum in Tesco once, he was turned away from it all as she browsed through the tat, he was very scared and she didn’t care in the least.
It’s awful.
Yes, parents should be better parents, but stores should shoulder responsibility too, this stuff should be tucked away,
Not in the little faces of those who have to walk past near the entrance.