Such a lovely memory, Annie. She will always be with you.
Jersey trip, some tips please.
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I have said I fear seeing the bridge in town where my adored daughter died last November. Cannot go to physiotherapist, GP, dentist because their surgeries are next to the bridge, have to cross it to go to town so will not go there .
We have been hit by the storms. The river in the town has flooded many times over the years, I heard yesterday it was only 2” off flooding again. There is a group on line for information on what is going on in and around town. I look at it every day, this morning i wanted to check which roads are still closed because I could tell my younger granddaughter which roads to avoid should she decide to drive here today.
There was a photograph of the river and the bridge, it has distressed me so much, my thoughts were of my girl standing there in the dark and alone . Thoughts I have not allowed to come to mind, they flooded my mind.
Will this ever pass ?
Such a lovely memory, Annie. She will always be with you.
Sounds like a comedy sketch but this is a small town , no full time fire service, then the firemen had day jobs, still do, if needed in the day an alarm went off from the top of the town hall, at night the firemen had alarms in their homes, they got paid for call outs and one evening a week for fire practice . Now they have mobile phones. The hospital only had three wards, male , female and maternity , even the police use to call in the hospital in the night for a cuppa with staff . Doctors on call at night were GP’s from the surgery. Rather a cosy place to bring up children.
This came to mind when firemen no longer rescuing cats was on tv this week. It brought back that pantomime ?
That’s a great story, Annie! And a lovely warm memory for you of your girl.
Sounds as if your lovely girl had a great sense of humour! X
Three firemen! Wonderful! There’s something about a fireman in all his gear......
Love the story Annie. Keep them coming.
x
Thank you x. If I got my act together and fought this agoraphobia I could call and visit some of you ?
The firemen and the cat ! It brought back such a funny memory.
When my daughter was 20, she and her boyfriend (later husband) went to a 21st birthday party in town. A friend picked them up and they went to pick up another friend. My phone rang, ‘Mum the car door was slammed and my hand was caught, come and get me I am in such pain’. I went for her, hand was badly swollen so I took her to the local cottage hospital. Into the one little emergency room, doctor called, daughter lying on bed. Doctor said ‘fingers may be broken, that ring must come off immediately ‘, nurse gets the cutter thingy, it was broken, Doctor said ‘you will have to get her to the other hospital ‘ , 20 miles away and I didn’t have enough petrol, no garages open after 9.00pm !
Casualty nurse rings maternity ward , no cutter there but up comes maternity sister, in the little room now was daughter on bed, boyfriend holding her hand, doctor, two casualty nurses and sister from maternity and me, (this is a town where everyone knows everyone) , ?, Doctor says ‘that ring has to come off, be back in a minute’. Back comes doctor ‘ a cutter on the way’ .
Shortly after there was a fire engine siren, sweeping into the hospital grounds was a fire engine, blue light flashing , lights go on through the hospital, into the room comes THREE firemen in full gear, one holding a cutter thingy followed by the sister from the male ward asking where’s the fire ? No alarms have gone off. This room was small, one bed, a desk and two chairs.
Daughter covers her face , so embarrassed, one fireman says what you want off leg or arm , my daughter , who knew him well and with a face as red as her hand said ‘ Phil for Gods sake can't you find a bloody cat to rescue’ .
Several years later when she went into labour with their first baby the Maternity sister (a friend of mine) said ‘will we need the fire brigade ?
If you feel you can, please do share your memories on here Annie, you know we would love to hear them and join in your thoughts both happy and sad. I've paid you a metaphoric visit today and I hope you feel just a little cheered by it!! If you ever feel like a chat, I too would love a pm. ? x
If I lived near you I’d come and see you Annie. Keep coming on here and let us know how you’re feeling. Meanwhile what’s the news on Fred? I wonder if there’s anyone with a Frederica themselves who might be able to call round and accompany you on a little outing (very locally). Would a phone call somewhere be able to investigate this? Wish I could call in, but thoughts are always with you x
Biker, I am amazed they still put up with me ?. I have posted so many ‘me me’ threads . But a year ago I reached out here in total dispair , i realy don’t believe I would have been alive today if these earth angels hadn’t been here for me.
Please share the memories with us Annie - I am wondering now what the cat up the tree story is!!!
I can see that you are well loved and supported on this forum Annie. I am feeling that in the short time I have been posting.
X
Biker, I am so relieved to know you are not alone, but it is your son and you are coping with a mothers grief . I find it hard having no one to say chatty things to about her . There was something on the news this week about firemen no longer rescuing cats from trees, It brought back a memory and there is no one to share it with, this is what I mean when I say it’s as if she never existed.
I was so blessed in the early months , many here got me through those very dark days. X
Annie I do have family around me.
I'm so sorry you are having to face your beloved daughter's anniversary alone. It is unbelievably hard isn't it?
Please do pm me if you want to talk about your daughter. X
Yes she is Luckygirl. But I ache for her, to hear her laughter.
Sorry
She is there in your heart Annie.
Biker, I so hope you have family around you. It will be a year next week that my beloved daughter died, I have no one to speak her name to, it’s as if she never existed.
That's ok nfk I know it's an inadequate response. And a gentle hug is much better than words sometimes.
Sorry Doodle didn't mean that you're not sincere.
It's just that something as big as loosing a beloved one just doesn't have the words to cover it.
(((hugs))) Biker. I'm another who never knows what to say, but I would never ignore someone as that's so insensitive and hurtful. Somehow though saying "I'm sorry for your loss" just doesn't cover it. So I'm afraid, in this age of touching being misunderstood, I have a horrible tendency just to give them a big hug. And an invite for a cup of tea and a chat.
I think your idea of a note in the Christmas card is a good one Biker, it puts the ball squarely in their court.
Thank you Doodle. Yes very true.
bikerhiker I'm so sorry for your loss.
It is really hard to know what to say to people. I think bereavement it is the worlds worst tragedy. If someone breaks their leg everyone knows what to say but a broken heart is something completely different and it leaves so many of us tongue tied and floundering. 
Very difficult I know. Yes it can be as if our loved ones neveŕ existed Annie.
Yes Seacliffe, you are right that people are not being unkind. Do say you are sorry and offer to meet up. Just don't be afraid to approach the person but please don't offer advice or compare to another loss. Each person's loss is individual and their world has stopped. Just acknowledging what has happened is enough. My neighbour just gives me a thumbs up if she catches my eye when she takes her dog out. A chap I know vaguely just pats me on the shoulder if we pass in the street. These simple but sincere gestures mean a lot.
Such a sad situation. Lots of people aren't good dealing with the bereaved. They don't mean to be unkind, they just don't know what to say, and are fearful of hurting you.
Question - What is the best thing anyone can do? Maybe come up and say, "so sorry for your loss. If you ever fancy a coffee and chat, I'd love to see you?"
One friend who lost her daughter, she didn't talk about it at all, so nor did we. But it was there in all our minds, and I feel she supressed her grief which wasn't good for her health wise.
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