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Bereavement

Wedding rings after death of husband

(121 Posts)
Gypsyqueen13 Thu 20-Dec-18 10:46:57

Good morning everyone, I lost my husband nearly 2 years ago. I still wear my wedding ring etc as in my mind we are still married! I received a comment recently from an acquaintance that they were surprised that I still wore them. It has never occurred to me that I should take them off and would almost feel like a betrayal. Just interested to hear the opinions of others. Thank you

Forestflame Thu 23-May-19 16:10:29

My Mum was widowed 20 years before she died. I ensured that when she died that we buried her with it on as she would have wished. I have her engagement ring which she left to me and I wear that most days.
It is down to the person, what they wear. most of the widows I know have kept their rings on.

Nannyxthree Sat 04-May-19 17:52:35

My grandmother was widowed in the 50's and she took off her ring and wore it on a chain around her neck which was unusual at the time I think. She always wore black from the time of my grandfather's death to her own 14 years later though.
I have heard people say that funeral directors will remove rings etc. which should have been buried / cremated - not sure about the truth of that, but how would you know?

Harris27 Sat 04-May-19 08:48:51

Sorry spelling mistake 'police'.

Harris27 Sat 04-May-19 08:47:45

I have a friend who was widowed quite young she and I are the same age and she still wears her wedding ring as I knew she would . She was and still I pretty woman who could of met someone else but said police it wasn't what she wanted, I respected. Her for that. I've been married forty two years and either who goes first the rings will never come off my finger. Personal choice.

M0nica Sat 04-May-19 07:55:08

The odd one out isn't you it is the person who made this very peculiar suggestion.

Look around at all the widows you know. You will find very few who are not wearing their wedding ring still.

Anyway, what does it matter what anyone else thinks. If you want to keep wearing your wedding ring, you keep wearing it, the person who said this is very tactless and bad mannered.

trueblue22 Fri 03-May-19 23:23:24

I had this dilemma after my DH died suddenly 2 years ago after 35 years. I wore it for a while but it didn't feel right somehow after a few months.

I wasn't married any more, I was widowed. I now wear a dress ring on my left hand and I had my DH's signet ring made smaller & wear it on my right hand small finger.

Sometimes I don't even wear the dress ring in my wedding finger. I feel I need to move to another chapter as a widow and independent woman. I have a busy life as a councillor with many hobbies. Not wearing the wedding ring helps me move forward (not on!).

I miss the life I had with DH bit I'm in a different place now.

It's up to each individual whether and they wear their to be .or not!

craftyone Sun 03-Feb-19 20:28:24

I took my wedding ring off after the first anniversary. `Til death us do part` I have no interest in dating ever again, 4 years on for me and I had a beautiful gold tribute ring made, it contains a few ashes. From ashesintoglass. It is a beautiful ring and I wear it on my wedding ring finger whenever I need courage such as when I went to view some properties to buy. I also wear it when something nice is happening such as christmas at my daughters house or going to see a play etc. Seems much more appropriate to me

Bridgeit Mon 28-Jan-19 20:38:10

I bet the same person would have passed some sort of negative comment if you had taken them off. ?
Best wishes.

Jabberwok Mon 28-Jan-19 17:19:23

My mother was widowed and then remarried. She wore both her wedding rings on different fingers. After she died I had her first wedding ring which I wear with my own, and she was buried with her second .

Joenpat Fri 25-Jan-19 02:06:08

I lost my husband 6mths ago I won't be taking my wedding ring off he will always be my husband

trisher Tue 01-Jan-19 11:04:56

My mum wore hers all her life and my dad died 20 years before she did. It was left on when she was cremated.She gave me her engagement and eternity ring when she went into hospital for the last time and told me to look after them as she was worried they might be lost. She had always worn all three until then.
I took mine off just before I got divorced.

smt352 Tue 01-Jan-19 10:36:24

I wear my wedding and eternity rings, I also wear my husband's wedding ring on my right hand and his watch which I had altered to fit me. He died in February 2018, so early days for me I know, but I don't want any attention from other men. So wear your rings with pride and remember the happy, loving times they signify to you.x

BradfordLass72 Tue 01-Jan-19 02:36:47

Oh my goodness, who on earth had the cheek to make such an insensitive comment?
Give 'em a good kick up the bum from me!

Of course, you're still married and of course you should be wearing your wedding ring.

madmum38 Sun 23-Dec-18 10:56:25

I wear my ring and also have my husbands on a chain round my neck, get a comfort when I am missing him badly just to slip my finger in it knowing what it meant to him.
Carry on wearing the ring and don’t let anyone tell you differently

antheacarol55 Sat 22-Dec-18 23:50:17

No one I know have stopped wearing theirs .One friend still wears hers along with her new husbands ring he thinks it is fine .

Smiley4 Sat 22-Dec-18 20:57:57

I agree with posh paws. It’s the other person with the problem. X

poshpaws Sat 22-Dec-18 20:35:34

We had Mum's wedding ring left on when she was cremated - she'd never taken it off in life, so we didn't think it was right to part her from it in death - Dad had been dead for 15 years by the time we lost her too. She'd have felt it a betrayal to take it off too: she used to tell me that even all those years later she'd hear or see something interesting and think "I must tell him" (my Dad.) You keep wearing your rings as long as you want to, as someone else said, it's the person who thought it odd who's the real odd one out!

Noreen3 Sat 22-Dec-18 16:09:23

I still wear my wedding ring,I see no reason not to

Smiley4 Sat 22-Dec-18 11:47:00

Wear it and if they have an opinion, that’s all it is. Their opinion. They are not you, weren’t married to your husband, and quite frankly it’s none of their business.
In fact, the way I see it, you ARE still married. He’s just gone ‘home’ before you.
Never let anyone else interfere with what you feel is right, for you. Xx

PenJK50 Sat 22-Dec-18 09:07:06

My mother never took her wedding ring off and the understanding was that when she died I would have it. My brother organised the cremation and told the funeral director this fact. Imagine how he felt when he collected her ashes and was told that the ring had been left on her finger! He was petrified of telling me but my view was that it was her ring and as we mixed my parents’ ashes together and scattered them where they’d done their “courting” it belonged with them.

Jax62 Sat 22-Dec-18 07:38:57

I lost my husband 5 years ago and have never taken my wedding ring off, when I go out dressed up I put my engagement and eternity ring on too - I just love them, its never occured to me to not wear a wedding ring.

Ameliarose Sat 22-Dec-18 07:27:57

Someone said the same to me & it really upset me ,if he never existed

absent Sat 22-Dec-18 06:05:32

Surely you wear your wedding ring – before and after your husband's death – because you want to. It isn't anyone else's business. Do what feels right for you – and that may not always be the same every day.

FranT Sat 22-Dec-18 01:09:57

Same here MawBroon, after 54 years together, (50 married), I would feel naked without them! Do whatever feels right for you Gypsyqueen13, it's a very hard road though isn't it!

annep Fri 21-Dec-18 22:24:14

Do what you want. People should mind their own business!