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Bereavement

Wedding rings after death of husband

(120 Posts)
Gypsyqueen13 Thu 20-Dec-18 10:46:57

Good morning everyone, I lost my husband nearly 2 years ago. I still wear my wedding ring etc as in my mind we are still married! I received a comment recently from an acquaintance that they were surprised that I still wore them. It has never occurred to me that I should take them off and would almost feel like a betrayal. Just interested to hear the opinions of others. Thank you

Anniebach Thu 20-Dec-18 10:51:35

My husband died over forty years ago, I still wore mine, now I don’t because having lost too much weight it would fall off .

Gypsyqueen13 Thu 20-Dec-18 11:00:28

I just can’t imagine taking them off. I think the acquaintance was intimating that while I am still wearing them males will assume that I am married and won’t approach me but to be honest that is what I want!

Anniebach Thu 20-Dec-18 11:04:25

Wear them, you are not divorced , you are not seeking male companionship. You will know if and when you are ready to take them off. X

ninathenana Thu 20-Dec-18 11:23:23

My dad died in 1985. Mum was still wearing her wedding ring the day she died in 2014.
She never took it off, having worn it 24/7 as do I mine.
Unless a person is hoping to find a new relationship I can't see a reason to remove it. It's a symbol of the love you shared and still do.

SueSocks Thu 20-Dec-18 11:25:58

Do what you feel is right for you. I agree with ninathenana it is a symbol of your love.

Jane10 Thu 20-Dec-18 11:28:13

Quite agree. Wear it with pride in memory of your dear husband.

sodapop Thu 20-Dec-18 11:30:24

I agree with Anniebach and Suesocks do whatever is right for you, its a comfort to feel that ring on your finger I'm sure.

Gypsyqueen13 Thu 20-Dec-18 11:34:18

Thank you all for positive responses. I worried that people would think I was odd for wearing them but have no wish to take them off.

goose1964 Thu 20-Dec-18 11:38:01

my sister had hers melted down and made into a necklace which she never takes off (but she has remarried)

Gypsyqueen13 Thu 20-Dec-18 11:42:42

That is a lovely idea for a remarriage.

Greenfinch Thu 20-Dec-18 12:15:44

It was a gift from your husband on your wedding day and is a reminder of that day. You would not want to get rid of all the other gifts he gave you over the years. Wear it and think of him often as I am sure you do.

harrigran Thu 20-Dec-18 12:18:20

Yes, keep wearing your rings, how strange that anyone suggest you remove them. I wager the person who said it was younger than you.

GrandmaMoira Thu 20-Dec-18 12:18:44

I'm a widow and wear my wedding ring.

Elegran Thu 20-Dec-18 12:24:35

Annie I stopped wearing my wedding ring when I almost lost it twice (it reappeared in strange places after slipping off) I reckoned the third time I wouldn't find it again. Then a friend gave me a bit of "ring size adjuster" which is a kind of small spring-shaped spiral bendy nylon wire. Scissors cut it. You cut a piece about an inch long and wind it round the ring on the palm side, It thickens the shank and holds it invisibly against your finger. It has been brilliant!

Amazon has several versions of it, at about £3 or £4 a pack, enough to do all your rings.

MawBroon Thu 20-Dec-18 12:26:49

Gypsyqueen what a daft and frankly hurtful suggestion.
I wear my wedding and engagement rings and I wear Paw’s on my right hand as those fingers are wider (fatter?) than on my left.
Grr
I wish people have not been bereaved would keep some of their observations to themselves!
tchangry

BBbevan Thu 20-Dec-18 12:35:15

I would do exactly as Maw has done if DH goes first. And I would hope he would do the same for me.
I wear one ring DH gave me when I was 17. ( 57 years ago) It is part of my hand and I never take it off

nonnasusie Thu 20-Dec-18 12:42:47

I had my wedding ring and my mothers made into one after my 1st husband died and eventually transferred it to my right hand where it remains even though I have since remarried.

Elrel Thu 20-Dec-18 12:45:25

Gypsyqueen, it's your acquaintance who has an odd attitude. It's perfectly normal for a widows to continue wearing their rings which must hold so many memories for them.

Grandma70s Thu 20-Dec-18 13:06:05

I still wear mine, and like Anniebach I’ve been a widow for very long time.

Gypsyqueen13 Thu 20-Dec-18 13:10:57

You have all replied exactly as I hoped you would but I did doubt myself briefly. Yes it was a younger person who mentioned it. Thank you all for replying

FarNorth Thu 20-Dec-18 13:21:05

Just chiming in to say I agree with everyone here.
All my life I have noticed beautiful wedding rings and engagement rings being worn by widows.
It is a perfectly normal thing to do.

lemongrove Thu 20-Dec-18 13:24:29

I agree ??

callgirl1 Thu 20-Dec-18 21:13:05

My husband died just over 2 years ago, I still wear both my wedding ring and eternity ring, and engagement ring on special occasions. Can`t wear hubby`s, as he never had a ring.

Scribbles Thu 20-Dec-18 21:24:26

I've just been thinking about the several widows among my circle of friends and, so far as I can recall, they all continue to wear their rings. Whyever not? It seems quite "normal" to me.
After my mom died, my dad wore her wedding ring on his little finger for the rest of his life.