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Bereavement

Missing mum ...how do l move on?

(38 Posts)
megan123 Sun 30-Dec-18 19:28:04

I should have added like my feather, things comfort us to help us along the way. Take care.

megan123 Sun 30-Dec-18 18:30:26

So sorry to hear of your loss. My mum died 20 years ago and I was there at the time (I feel I was lucky to be there) and I, like Joanna, used to "see" her when I was out. I miss her every day, and at night I talk to her. A white feather blew into my kitchen a few weeks ago and landed on a plant on the window sill, and I was going through a particularly bad time, it just felt she was there to say "things will work out".

Nonnie Sun 30-Dec-18 18:14:17

So sorry to hear your story. I don't have anything helpful to say just to send you hugs. It doesn't matter what loss others have had, you can't compare, we all grieve in our own way and in our own time. Hope it helps to express yourself on here.

joannapiano Sun 30-Dec-18 18:01:41

My mum walked upstairs one evening, when she was 69, (as I am now,) and literally dropped dead from a heart attack. As it was so sudden, for some months I used to think I had seen her in the street, or spotted her shopping while I was in the bus going by.
The week after she died I had a dream that she was in a room full of people, just chatting and wearing her Mac and boots. I was in the next room, looking at this scene through the doorway. She turned and said “Don’t worry about me, I’m quite alright.” And I felt so comforted by that. I am not a very religious person, but have never forgotten it.

Grammaretto Sun 30-Dec-18 15:50:13

Isn't it hard. My DM died 10 years ago. Occasionally I still want to phone her and tell her something.
Your mum has known you longer than anyone else.
I am becoming more like her by the day so perhaps that's a consolation.

Grandma70s Sun 30-Dec-18 15:27:07

I think time does help, but I still miss my mother who died more than twenty years ago. She used to say all her life that she still missed her mother. It’s just a very close bond that is hard to break.

Blacktabby2 Sun 30-Dec-18 15:11:16

Conversations sometimes quietly *

Blacktabby2 Sun 30-Dec-18 15:10:18

Sorry too GrannyGravy...they say time heals...but it's still early days. I just want to tell her things . I do have conversationsome quietly...or people will think l am bonkers! I would love to have a sign that she's near....x

Blacktabby2 Sun 30-Dec-18 14:54:23

Thankyou Aggie...yes l still look at the phone at 3pm...expecting it to show the word MUM . I have lost a lot of interest in everything...but l have a wonderful family....l will be ok...mum wouldn't want me to be sad. I lost my dad 6 years ago on mums birthday!!!

GrannyGravy13 Sun 30-Dec-18 14:53:12

I lost my mum 20 months ago, I miss her so much. I have a loving large supportive family, but it’s my mum that I want to talk to, to go shopping with or lunch.

Does it get better unfortunately no it just morphs into a new normal.

aggie Sun 30-Dec-18 14:47:46

I am so sorry for you , but I can understand . Mum died 20 years ago and I still miss her , but in a more nostalgic way . I rang her at 2.30 most days to bring her out of herself and sometimes she chatted other times she didn't talk much . I kept lifting the phone to remind her about something , for years after she was gone , but it does get easier to bear .

Blacktabby2 Sun 30-Dec-18 14:45:35

Sorry....predicted text....she was 93...

Blacktabby2 Sun 30-Dec-18 14:42:26

My mum died a few weeks ago. Due was 93...but l do miss her. We were not especially close so l am surprised at how hard this has hit me! She was also my neighbour! Although she had recently moved to a residential home. We would phone each other every day. The minute l went on holiday l had the call she had died...it was unexpected . I miss her calls....how l wish l could have one last chat.