Gransnet forums

Bereavement

Remembering...

(29 Posts)
grannyactivist Wed 09-Jan-19 22:27:16

......that on this night nine years ago my son-in-law and I were supporting my daughter through her first, very long, labour. The baby was premature and the labour wasn't straightforward so the room was often filled with various worried medics. My son-in-law and I kept each other going all through the night, dozing on and off by turns and chatting about inconsequential things as we watched and waited for the baby to be born. His very dry sense of humour often had the midwives in stitches and his banter with my daughter was also very funny at times. We shared the long night together and as we did our relationship developed a new dimension.

Their baby boy, my lovely grandson, was finally born (on the following day) and rushed off to the Special Care Baby Unit where he made wonderful progress and was eventually discharged a few weeks before my son-in-law was deployed to Afghanistan. Sadly my son-in-law didn't return to see his little boy grow up to become the captain of his school sports teams, or watch him take the solo spot in the school choir at Christmas. he will never know that his little boy shares his same dry sense of humour and wavy hair.

Tomorrow, I will celebrate my grandson's 9th birthday and enjoy the day, but tonight I'm shedding a tear for his daddy and all that he has missed. sad

merlotgran Wed 09-Jan-19 22:30:28

Such bitter sweet memories, ga. How proud your SiL would have been of his son.

Marydoll Wed 09-Jan-19 22:36:42

Oh, GA, bittersweet, as Merlot, says. 💐

grannyqueenie Wed 09-Jan-19 22:37:48

Poignant and bittersweet memories for you grannyA Your son in law gave so much of himself both in that long night and later in his military service. But he also lost much that you have been privileged to see in your little grandson growing up. It’s lovely that you remember his daddy with such affection. Thinking of you 💐

M0nica Wed 09-Jan-19 22:41:48

grannyactivist, what a tragedy. My sympathies are with you

By chance my mind is currently also occupied by a man who went to war and the family he did not return to. Next week my sister and I are going to France to lay flowers on the war grave of my maternal grandfather on the 100 anniversary of his death. He survived the war and had started his journey home when he was taken ill, probably the Spanish flu, and died and is buried in Marseille. Leaving two little girls, aged 6 & 8.

But tonight my thoughts will be entirely with you.

MawBroon Wed 09-Jan-19 22:42:48

Shedding a tear for you grannyactivist*.
That a part of your SIL lives on in this remarkable little boy is a miracle in itself. flowers

dragonfly46 Wed 09-Jan-19 22:49:32

That is so sad grannyactivist.

Thinking of you and your DD tonight x

jogginggirl Wed 09-Jan-19 22:51:11

What a sad but beautiful post grannyactivist Sending flowers and ❤️

Izabella Wed 09-Jan-19 23:16:03

Such profound and mixed emotions for you. In my thoughts. flowers

Kalu Wed 09-Jan-19 23:16:13

If any solace can be found ga I hope it’s ever present in the love and memories you and your DD remember sharing with your SiL and her, her DH

Your SiL may not be here to share the pride in his son but you and your DD can carry his pride in your heart knowing he lives on through your precious grandson 🌹

callgirl1 Wed 09-Jan-19 23:26:43

A sad, but lovely, post, GrannyA

ninathenana Wed 09-Jan-19 23:45:31

Thinking of you and your family ga flowers

Bikerhiker Wed 09-Jan-19 23:49:58

How proud your grandson and his dad would be of each other. How bitter sweet your memory, and for your daughter too.
I hope you all have a lovely day for the little chap's birthday. So precious.

grannyactivist Wed 09-Jan-19 23:54:59

Just had a long exchange of messages with my daughter and she said she was sobbing wrapping the birthday presents ready for tomorrow. Her memories of that night are also very strong and bittersweet. She has remarried and now has two more little boys and her husband is the only daddy my grandson has ever known. Fortunately he understands why this night is such an emotional one and is very supportive.

kittylester Thu 10-Jan-19 06:46:22

I echo what everyone else has said, ga. Sending you love and (((hugs)))

morethan2 Thu 10-Jan-19 07:49:58

It’s not much in the face of such sadness but here’s a ((((hug)))) condolences on your loss and grateful thanks for your family’s great sacrifice for our country.

Anja Thu 10-Jan-19 08:20:22

I’m in tears reading that GA. Happy 9th Birthday to your DGS 🎁🎂🎶 and your lovely SiL lives on in his son and in your memories xx

EllanVannin Thu 10-Jan-19 08:23:10

What a sad time that was. I can't even imagine being in such a situation.
That little boy will grow up proud to know how brave his daddy was.

Anniebach Thu 10-Jan-19 08:25:37

I am so very sorry and send you love , x

Marmight Thu 10-Jan-19 08:33:54

flowers Thinking of you all today.

Happy Birthday GA's grandson!

Grannybags Thu 10-Jan-19 08:36:08

I can't add anything to the above posts but sending you flowers

sodapop Thu 10-Jan-19 08:42:04

Lovely memories of your son in law grannyactivist so sad he didn't see his little boy growing up. You must have such mixed emotions. Our family suffered a loss in the same way and I have every sympathy with you all thanks

Grammaretto Thu 10-Jan-19 08:46:53

Thankyou for sharing with us the story of that night. It made me cry.
How lovely that your DGS has had 2 fathers who love him.
Happy birthday to him xx and to you and your daughter.flowers

Luckygirl Thu 10-Jan-19 08:53:55

I can only send love - how wonderful that there are these precious memories for you all. flowers

ginny Thu 10-Jan-19 08:56:07

Bittersweet memories. 💐