So unreal now

I've only just seen this annie but sending you hugs never the less.

Annie

Sending you every good wish, Annie

Thank you all x

Hello i have just found this forum.
My husband of 44yrs died Jan 2018
With heart problems, he was let down by hospitals and the last 5 years he was very limited in what he could do and i looked after him, we were a very close couple.
I cared for others in the past and have lost any friends i had, we have 5 children all grown with own families.
They are good as much as can be
But it is so lonely without my husband the person i want to give me a hug or hold my hand.
As someone said just to do nothing with.
I just miss him so much.

I feel so sorry for those who’ve lost a loved one, especially a partner or child. I can see how hard it can be to carry on, to try to be strong and brave for their sake as well as your own.
They still love you, but their place is no longer here. You will be together one day and then forever - such a joyful reunion will be worth waiting for! ?

Annie, I know how you feel sometimes feeling your husband never existed. My second husband died ten years ago after ten years of marriage. I have no contact with his family and sometimes feel as if it never happened.
My mother died forty years ago and having lived my adult life without her it often seems as if she did not exist.

GrandmaMoira that is exactly how I feel , and my grandson is 27 next month , when my husband was 27 we had two daughters, i look at my grandson and he is the age I remember my husband , I am protective of my grandson and my husband was protective of me at the same age .

Doesn’t make sense but this is how it is

I can relate to that except in reference to my son who died aged 7 years old and would now be 52.

Annie

He will forever be your soulmate Annie. ?

My heart goes out to you Annie, your DH will be forever young.
DH and I have been together 56 years in a couple of months and I know we are on borrowed time but have lots of memories.

The obvious strength and depth of your love, Anniebach. makes me think you would have still been together. It is hard having no-one with whom to talk about him - talk to us, we are always ready to listen.

Annie

I know how you feel Anniebach - I lost my husband 21 years ago after being with him for 24 years. In my mind I see him as he was when he died aged 46 but he would be 66 heading towards 67 now if he was still here. We had planned (very loosely) to retire to Ireland and run a home based restaurant/cafe and I often wonder how that would have worked out. Since he died I have moved house several times, from North Wales down to Dover, Kent for 16 years and then back nearer home to Telford (almost four years ago now). I wonder how different things might have been if he was still here - probably would still have gone to Dover as he had applied for a promotion with work there just before he died, my daughter would still have met my now ex son in law, had her family etc. I miss him very much, like your grandchildren mine never got to meet their Grandfather, he would have got into no end of mischief with them no doubt! But I do talk about him, as does my daughter, and they have seen photos and heard tales of the things he used to get up to. Don't think you are daft at all - my cousin lost her daughter to cancer aged 11 and I know she often thinks about what might have been if her daughter was here to grow up - she would be taking her exams this year if she were here. I hope your memories brought you comfort x

Thats memory Annie the dead never grow old in our mind and hearts .My lovely Dad died 24 years ago last month ,I cant imagine him as a 94 year old and it really makes me sad my son doesn't remember a GF who doted on him .Thats just life though its not fair or kind and we have to live with it .We have been lucky though because we DO have those happy memories we can pluck out of thin air when a particular song is played or a phrase said or when i see aman with a certain kind of hat .I wept buckets when Jennifer on The Voice sang The Impossible dream the other week because Dad sung it at my wedding. I'll always miss him .

Thank you x

If I knew then what I know now ? Would marry him again .

I remember the day he died a friend was playing rugby and suffered injuries, in intensive care, then lived for some years severely disabled, someone said to me your husband wouldn’t have wanted that life , my reply ? He wouldn’t but it would mean he was still with me. How selfish .

We are all the same realy, never want to let go of love, be it 8 years or 60 years .

On a light note, my grandson was telling me what he needed for the property he has bought, a coffee machine which seems to do everything , I said ‘all that money for a machine which really just makes coffee ?’ he laughed and said ‘Granny things don’t stay the same even if you want them to ‘, 50 years ago my husband said to me ‘ you would have complained if you had been around when the wheel was invented ‘ , grandson like grandfather ?

Annie, thinking of you (flowers)

Annie

Sorry .. haven't got the hang of smileys. But thinking of you xx

Annie, yours is a true love story x

Annie I'll raise a "toast" to you and your husband

Anniebach. My dad died when he was 29, which was 65 years ago. I was 18 months old my sister was 4 my mum was only married to him for 6 years. We allway's talked about him every anniversary. My mum remarried to my stepdad which was 63 years ago. As lovely as my stepdad was my mum allway's said to me in secret that she would swap the 63 years with my stepdad if she could have my real dad back for another 6 years. She loved him that much. I wish I could remember him but I was too young he must have been a very special man. I allway's wonder what sort of dad he would have been.

MooMOO your stepdad was a lovely man so your Mum had a happy second marriage, that she secretly would have swapped 63 years for 6 years shows your Dad was a very special person.