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So unreal now

(76 Posts)
Anniebach Thu 28-Feb-19 10:39:23

My husband died 44 years ago today. We were married 8 years , I knew him for 10 years .

I feel as if he never existed, yet still love the man I knew 44 years ago. But he is young, I am not .

Daft ?

Squiffy Thu 28-Feb-19 10:46:46

Oh Annie I have no words other than no, of course you're not daft. The mind plays funny tricks on us all at times. flowers

Maggiemaybe Thu 28-Feb-19 11:07:18

Thinking of you today, Annie. flowers And you are far from daft.

lemongrove Thu 28-Feb-19 11:10:05

You loved him very much, that’s clear Annie and he will be forever young in your heart and mind.💐

ninathenana Thu 28-Feb-19 11:16:10


megan123 Thu 28-Feb-19 11:27:14

flowers flowers Annie

GrannyGravy13 Thu 28-Feb-19 11:34:08

Se ding hugs Anniebach 💐💐

MawBroon Thu 28-Feb-19 11:35:03

Not daft Annie not daft at all. Do you let your imagination run and wonder what he would have been like today?
Our first baby, a boy, was born in 1973 and died at 3 weeks. Many’s the time since then I have looked at little boys, biggerboys, young men, others in the family and wondered “Would this have been you?”


Susan56 Thu 28-Feb-19 11:54:00


leyla Thu 28-Feb-19 12:03:51

That's so sad. Have you been able to find a different love? x

Gonegirl Thu 28-Feb-19 12:08:01

You don't think of this aspect of loss do you, early bereavement.

Just go on remembering him as he was Annie. You are still the woman he loved. flowers

Gonegirl Thu 28-Feb-19 12:09:44

I lost my mum when she was forty five and I was nineteen. I remember her as a young woman because I didn't get to see the old one.

Auntieflo Thu 28-Feb-19 13:57:48

Annie. Hugs to you. It must be difficult for you.
Is the Therapy helping at all? I think you said that there was a session today.
Thoughts and flowers. for you.

nanaK54 Thu 28-Feb-19 14:10:59

Sending kind thoughts flowers

tanith Thu 28-Feb-19 14:16:14

flowers for you.

Day6 Thu 28-Feb-19 14:19:31

Annie, you were widowed as a young woman. You loved him then, and you love him now, many years later. That's not daft. It's lovely that he will never be consigned to history as long as he is remembered. Love endures. Love never dies.

When my child lost her partner (he was just 29) I sent her this.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails - I Corinthians 13:7.

Thinking of you flowers

Cherrytree59 Thu 28-Feb-19 14:28:18

Annie your lovely husband touched your life and those around him.
His gift was loving you and his little family.

Souls are ageless.
Love is eternal.💜

daffodil daffodil daffodil

Anniebach Thu 28-Feb-19 14:37:00

Thank you all x

I am not distressed , was thinking about it and shared my thoughts. It is a strange feeling, no Idea what would have happened if he had lived, we may have had our retirement cottage in New Quay, Cardiganshire, we may have divorced.

MawI understand about your baby, we lost a baby in 1972 and 1974, I do at times wonder how they would have grown into womanhood but I think of the two daughters I was blessed with and think the babies may have been like their sisters,they are rather like blank pages, But my husband was a man when he died in 1975, not a blank page.

Today is my Mum’s birthday, she was 77 when she died so i
Can remember her older than I am,

Anyway, I am alright, sad he didn’t see his two daughters grow into lovely women , see his three grandchildren. Younger daughter has no memory of him , elder daughter did, suppose I miss her talking about him , no one has remembered him , well I have and have been able to share with you all.

Remember elder daughter saying when i showed her his two recommendations for bravery , the minx said ‘ he was brave he married you 😀

Auntyflo therapy was difficult today , sitting in the sofa looking out at the Cul de sac and imagining standing in the middle , gulp 😀

Thank you all for letting me share, x

Doodle Thu 28-Feb-19 19:54:30

annie flowers

Urmstongran Thu 28-Feb-19 20:25:10

Special thoughts to you on this sad anniversary day Annie 💐 and I do love what your elder daughter said - what a brilliant comment! A lovely memory to hold dear.

Have you read Paul Kalanithi’s ‘When Breath Becomes Air’? Every minute you have with family is a blessing and comfort.

Anniebach Thu 28-Feb-19 21:25:38

Thank you all x . It’s such a long time ago but I loved him , my grandchildren, son in law and son in law who isn’t , never knew him , younger daughter can’t remember him, Catherine no longer with me to speak of him or take flowers to his grave, perhaps selfish but I needed to remember him today so did so with you. He was so worthy of remembrance, what we shared was special and yes only 8 years of marriage but from the marriage I was blessed with my younger daughter (my baby girl) and Catherine my joy .

Thank you so much for letting me share x

annep1 Thu 28-Feb-19 21:35:20

Not having someone to remember with is hard

KatyK Fri 01-Mar-19 14:58:55

Not daft at all Annie flowers

Luckygirl Fri 01-Mar-19 16:39:19

Missed this thread the other day; just sending flowers now. It must feel so strange to you to know that he did not see the children grow up, but you did. Hope the day was full of happy memories.

Bathsheba Fri 01-Mar-19 17:01:19

Annie no you're not daft, not at all flowers