One week

My condolences to both notoveryet and MadGrandma.

notoveryet your dogs will bring you great comfort and at times of great sorrrow there is nothing nicer than doggy cuddle.
By just stroking their fur you will be soothed and calmed

Your dogs will also be feeling the loss of your your lovely husband.

So very sorry to hear this sad news. Your dogs will be a great comfort to you and will give you a reason to to go out for a walk in the fresh air, which is so therapeutic. Such wise words from MadGrandma, just take each day at a time. My lovely brother-in-law passed away in June and my sister is sorting out cupboards, sheds, garages as well as meeting up regularly with family and friends, which is keeping her focussed and helping her to slowly heal. It will take time.

MadGrandma, my heart goes out to you. It hurts in a way I never thought possible doesn't it? I took the dogs for a really long walk this morning and we are now snoozing by the fire together. I thank you all so much for your support.

Flowers and healing thoughts for you too MadGrandma as you too embark on your journey ???

So sorry for your loss

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure your dogs will be of great comfort to you, like you said they give you a reason for getting up. They will be great comfort and great listeners.

Just to say so,sorry for your loss take no notice of well meaning people your dogs are yours and will bring you comfort. Stay strong. X

Just seen your post notoveryet my sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. I don't think I can add more to what has been already said. My sincere condolences too MadGrandma, I lost my husband to bowel cancer also.
Sending you both much love and hugs

Really sorry to hear your sad news, I don't have any animals any more, but I'm sure your dogs will give a at least a little comfort for now, people do say things that seem odd as they don't really know what to say.

Take care and do keep posting.

So sorry for your loss. Animals can be an amazing boon in all situations and I am glad you are not considering giving them up. As you say, it gives you a reason to get up and the fact they need you will only be good for you.
People don’t always think about what they are saying and think they mean well!
Life is never going to be quite the same and only you know how you are feeling. Some days will be better than others but however you feel it is ok to feel that way.
Take care.

So very sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband last weekend. He had been ill with bowel cancer for two and a half years. He went to the hospital for an oncology check on the Friday, was told to stay in because he was so weak, and he died on the Saturday morning. So I know exactly what you are going through. I will pass on what I was told by an old friend - do what is right for you each day - whether that be paperwork, emptying a cupboard or nothing at all. Look after yourself and don't be bullied by well-meaning friends.

So sorry for loss. Look after yourself ?

So sorry for your loss. Nothing prepares you for such a heartbreaking event. Your friends are showing they care in their own way.
Let them and your beloved dogs support you during this sad time.
Dogs are there for you when friends have gone home,they sense and support your pain. Let them help you grief. Thinking of you

So sorry for your loss and feel for you. Anyone who has not been through it can have any idea what it is like.
Do not rush things, and make no big decisions in the first year. I was convinced I would sell up and downsize, but I have discovered I can manage my house and garden on my own.
Of course you must keep your dogs; they will be a great comfort to you and give you something to get up for. It was the same with me and my cats.
The first weeks are so busy as there is so much to do. It was only after that, that I started going back to my activities and then looked for new groups.
You never get used to it, but you learn to live with it. I wish you well

So very true bumblebee34. You have truly described what it is like to start on the new journey of being alone..I am unable to have a pet where I live, but am sure that having a dog would give back some more purpose to life after bereavement.

Sending you my deepest sympathy at this sad time. He must have been a very strong and determined man to be with you for a year longer than you expected, and it must have been tough, but very precious time for you both.

A celebration of his life sounds like a lovely thing, you will have so many lovely memories from over your years together.

It is such early days, be kind to yourself and do not take too much notice of negative comments people make to you. Sometimes people just do not know what to say when someone dies. Get rid of your dogs is the last thing you would want to do, and if ever gets tough to walk them there are always dog walkers that can take them for you.

I hope you have family and friends to support you at this difficult time, sending you a hug x

Since my husband died I consider all offered advice- I find it does me no harm to do so- I don't rely on all of it! But realize their view of me and my life in general is vastly different than how I see me, especially when I'm in a state of grief and they are not- So I remain open to all offers, some taken with a grain of salt ..

Carly D7.How I agree with your advice to Notoveryet. I lost my DH very suddenly 10 years last October.At the time friends were trying to sympathise ,but ,even now, those still with their ‘other halves’ have no idea what that loss means to life in general. Keep your dogs Notoveritvyet. They will give you a focus and caring for them will still make you feel needed. Starting a new life alone is not at all easy , but hopefully you will eventually meet and make new friends . I found U3A groups locally and they really are a godsend. It takes time to join anything new, but really can help when the time is right. Meanwhile I hope you are getting support ,in addition to the possibly unhelpful advice.

So sorry for your loss. As others have said, no doubt they meant well with their advice and surely they wouldn't want to upset you, but your dogs are companions - they give back so much love. Take it one day at a time.

So sorry to hear your very sad news. If the dogs feel like too great a challenge to walk sometimes, there will be a dog-walking service somewhere in your locality. It might be useful to have details of the service available. The unconditional love you get from your dogs will help and your routines will help to pull you through. xx

Very kind words Marilii but I am only saying how the grief journey was for me, I know it is not the same for everyone. My heart always lurches when I hear of someone newly bereaved for I know some of what lies ahead of them and feel that I want to reach out to them and let them know they are not alone on this journey and hopefully they will see that light at the end of a long dark tunnel and emerge on the other side, never unscathed I think but hopefully in a position to move forward with life which sometimes you have to almost force yourself to do at times but is always worth it I think.

So sorry to hear of your loss ??

So so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband ...you are doing the right thing to keep the dogs …..sadly some people want to say something and don't know what to say, and so say the wrong thing. A hug is all that is needed then to keep you going.

Your dogs are your lifeline know, you will make new friends when you are walking them.

Bumblebee34, I think your response was the most wonderful thing I've ever read. My brother's spouse died suddenly back in 2006 (suicide) and he came home to find his body. It was an awful time. I moved in to help him out and lived with him for 12 years until he found another Significant Other whom he is very happy with. During those long years I watched him go through all of these situations you are describing, especially the one step forward/two steps back thing. Healing is never a neat, orderly process and I think people are quite thoughtless when they think (and say!) that someone should be over the grief in X amount of time. If one has never been through it, then one really doesn't know what it's like and should simply offer support....or close their own mouth rather than make negative suggestions.