One week

Notoveryet, yes, you're right, it's not over yet. And, as regards to your dogs, they are part of your family and belong with you. As a qualified counsellor, I know how very common it is for people to believe that dogs after a death are in the way. The truth is that, to lose those dogs from your social life and routine would be another death (s), as your very being centres round the routine that you have had for some time. The very best of wishes.

So sorry for your loss Notoveryet. Thankfully I have not suffered your great loss though I have lost other much loved family members. Not the same I know. I do hope I haven't said anything crass to anyone in your position. Please do take what comfort you can from your dogs. My own little dog is a great source of happiness and comfort. As a previous poster said, do whatever you feel is right for you. I wish you peace and comfort at this terrible time.

So sorry for your loss, be kind to yourself and take things slowly as everything will be very raw. The dogs are part of your family and they will help you keep going.

Very sorry for the loss of your beloved husband, notoveryet. Ignore tactless comments and 'advice'. I remember when my mother died, my poor father was inundated by questions from well-meaning family and friends to sell the house, get on with the funeral ('Why so long?' - Jewish tradition goes with fast disaptch), disposal of my mother's clothes and effects...none of it helped. It's YOU it's happened to; grief has to be navigated by you in your own way and you do whatever helps you through that. Nothing prepares you for death and how you are going to feel and be. Gradually you manage to find a new 'normal' which is bearable, but that's way into the future. You keep your lovely dogs close. It's no one else's business to suggest otherwise.

notoveryet I think everyone in your situation is at this stage thinking "I wish I could sleep". I think, short of taking pills (which don't always give a good type of sleep anyway) you just have to make use of your apparently sound common sense and remind yourself this is a stage you'll get through, and that sleep will one day make friends with you again!

Have you tried having some talk radio channel such as lbc on quietly by your bed overnight? Apart from being a companionable voice in the background, I find that if I start listening when I can't sleep, it distracts me from worrying that I can't sleep, and I fall asleep!

Bad night with not a lot of sleep.I've re-read all your lovely posts and felt comforted. I have a very loving family, my best friend phones every day. Sadly another close friend passed away last November. There is so much to sort out it can get overwhelming, but I'm steadily working through it. I'm not seeking pills from the doctor but I'd really like some sleep. Thank you all again for your support.

Enjoy your pets , Give them lots of love and teary cuddles , it will help you and them .People don't always know the right thing to say , so sometimes come out with the daftest comments , but at least they're not avoiding talking ( the one thing my mum disliked ,most folks cross the street to avoid saying anything)
In their own way your lovely dogs are grieving too , and need constancy and love from you . Animals give unconditional love and I would imagine your husband hoped they would bring you comfort

Sorry to hear of your sad loss, none of us know how we will cope till it happens. I hope you have family and close friends to comfort you, as well as your lovely dogs.

Sad times for you notoveryet and Madgrandma too. Lots of kind, caring and insightful responses here. Maybe it’s easier to know what to say when there’s time to think about how best to respond. Thinking of you both in these early days x

So very sorry notoveryet. I'm three months down the line and the most important thing I've learned is that there is no correct way and no wrong way to grieve, there is only your way and that is the right way. Love your dogs and keep some love for yourself. Grieving is a special hell. Take care.

notoveryet, I wouldn't take too much notice of people trotting out clichés and their tuppence worth of crap advice - most people mean well and do not mean to be hurtful, they just don't know what to say or don't engage their brain before opening their mouth. I'm glad you have the dogs to love, to give you purpose and some structure to your day - animals can be amazing, sensitive, non-judgemental friends that can be a big comfort when you need it.

I am sorry for your loss notoveryet.

Notveryyet - I am so sorry you have lost your life partner - this is a huge thing to bear and whatever the circumstances of the death your pain is the same. As a Bereavement Counsellor I would urge you to carry on as you are - your dogs are your companions and this is no time to make big decisions - indeed, you may find some comfort in your dogs. Friends and family often do not know what to say or do to help you in your loss - if what you hear doesn't feel right to you, listen to you gut. Your grief will not shrink but you will grow around it, and if in three months' time you are still feeling very low and vulnerable, ask your GP for bereavement support. My thoughts are with you. companionship you can get just now so ignore your friends. I am sorry you are in such pain. As a bereavement counsellor I would advise that you seek such help yourself - it is often the case that family and friends say/do things which don't help in your grief, although equally they could be

So sorry. Take no notice of other people. Do what's best for you.

So sorry for your loss

I am so sorry for your loss, but happy for you that you had that extra year together.
This is one of those times when often well-meaning friends and acquaintances will offer advice which they think is helpful to you, and often it's not. But they mean well and be thankful for having people who care, even if it is misguided. This is not a time for making big decisions. It's a time for grieving, and we all do it in a different way. Your dogs give meaning and purpose to your day, and they will be grieving too. So lots of long walks and cuddles with the dog, tears when they want to come, laughter too, and lots of support from friends, all will help you through these difficult first stages of grief.
Best wishes.

So sorry to hear about your loss. Not sure if others have said but your dogs will be grieving too. Continue to care for them as you always have, and they will care for you through these dark days.

(I'm a newbie, first post, hope it's ok.)

I am so sorry, don’t give up your dogs you would be piling more grief on yourself. Our dogs are part of our families x

So sorry for your loss. I can only reiterate what everyone else has said. Grieving is an individual process. There is no 'way' to do it. Sending you hugs.

So sorry you’ve lost your beloved husband notoveryet.
It’s such early days, you can only take one day at a time and lean on your family and friends.
I’m glad you have your lovely dogs to help you through and give you their affection.
People sometimes say unhelpful things i.e getting rid of your dogs, but I’m sure they mean well, and didn’t mean any offense, it can just come out wrong.
Thinking of you, bless you

Sorry not sure What happened to the flowers.?

Mad grandma thinking of you [flowers flowers]

Yes You can do it One day & one footstep at a time xx Bless you ???

MadGrandma - my condolences.

My deepest sympathy to notoveryet and madgrandma.
Thinking of you both at this terribly sad time