Funeral wishes

I left instructions for simplest/cheapest body disposal available at that time, no service or funeral of any type. But I will be dead so whoever the responsibility is foisted off onto will no doubt do what they want. I see absolutely no point in a funeral for myself, waste of money.

My condolences to all who are bereaved but you may want to be sure this doesn’t happen to you. “No frills” funerals can have their disadvantages when things go wrong.
I wonder if they are as carefully regulated as the “traditional” sort?
This horror story must have caused immeasurable distress.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2163891/Channel-4-Dispatches-funeral-firm-Families-horror-Co-op-funeral-firm-piled-naked-bodies-like-TVs.html

There is a company called 'The Coffin company' online. I also do not want a lot of money spent on fancy wooden coffins etc which will be burned/buried. I have chosen an eco coffin, very pretty and have printed off a picture and have included it with my will etc, the coffin is only £299 at the moment and that is quite enough to spend. have a look at the site, it has all sorts of coffins to choose from.

Please look at ‘Simplicity Cremation’.
Being of no religion and no extended family, we have decided on this very thing: body taken to mortuary, no funeral, then taken to be cremated, ashes returned to whoever. You can have if you so wish a small number of people to say goodbye before the coffin disappears.

So sorry for your impending loss. Most coffin handles now look like brass but are in fact a special plastic. My mother wouldn't discuss her funeral arrangements even though she knew she was terminally ill but she had always commented on how she thought the amount spent on funerals was ridiculous so I chose a simple coffin with flowers inner favourite colour. I also wore her favourite colour lilac to the funeral. I have told my husband I want a coffin made of cardboard there are some gorgeous ones but the wicker ones at beautiful too. Many people seem to be opting for a small immediate family funeral with a memorial service or get together at a later date. The last one I went to was a simple service with just an officiant recalling family memories with favourite songs and no wake as the person who had died sounded like your mother in law.x

Cherrytree my DH was diagnosed with Terminal Cancer & receiving palliative care, this was 6 years ago, he was given about 8 months but only lasted 2. I was faced with finding a Funeral Director in an area we had only lived in for just over a year. I sought advice from from friends & went to meet a local well established Funeral Director, Family Company.

I discussed what I wanted for DH as we had discussed our Funeral Plans, cheap cremation, coffin, hearse & one car, family flowers only can't bear a naked coffin & donations to his desired Charity. I could not have wished for a more attentive Funeral Director & DH had Insurance Policy to cover the cost. We had a Celebrant but only one Hymn & lovely Eulogy written by DH's closest friend. DH's ashes are in the Crematorium Garden as he didn't want a grave for us to visit.

DM has left instructions both with me & a close friend as I live 300 miles away, again using a local Funeral Director, she will be buried in her local Chapel Graveyard with my Step-Father. My DF died many years ago & was Cremated (his wish).

My DD knows I want to be Cremated & my ashes scattered at my Football team's Garden of Remembrance.

Apologies for such a long post. My thoughts are with you

First, OP, my deepest sympathy. To my mind, attending a death bed is harder than arranging the funeral.

I totally understand your MIL's wishes, as I don't see any point in paying for an expensive coffin. I too have stated the cheapest coffin and shroud.

I hope your MIL passes peacefully, and that you and your DH and other family will be able to see her life ending well.

My direct funeral has already been paid for, the funeral director, the Coop, will pick me up from wherever I happen to die, they will arrange a cremation with no mourners, no service etc and my ashes will be sent to my children. I have no religious beliefs and do not want my funeral to be a financial burden on my children. Whatever I have left will be distributed as per my Will with a certain amount being earmarked for my 'party' at a time suiting them.

My MIL requested a wicker coffin and it was more expensive than a wooden one

My FIL died at 92 and had donated his body to science, so there was no funeral as such BUT we did hold a Service of Remembrance for him (the church was packed to the rafters) and then had a "do" back at the house. It was lovely to hear so many stories about his life and I think gave all of us great comfort.

What I would like to add is - I think it is terribly cruel for parents not to write their funeral wishes down before they die. So many want to avoid thinking about their death and so leave all the decisions to bereft family members who struggle to make these decisions whilst grieving (I know how this feels) and also end up arguing amongst themselves, thus adding to the overall unhappiness. IMO everyone should write a Will and a Funeral Plan.

BlueBelle
Your first comment gave me a real belly laugh ???

I was thinking of buying a cheap one and keeping it in the spare room I can get familiar with it see if it’s comfortable
That, is priceless.

When my mother died it was just a few days before her wedding anniversary in March and my father was anxious to have the funeral before that date. Consequently it was put together at very short notice. My mother was a keen gardener and my sister and I raided our own gardens and hers to pick armfuls of daffodils which we scattered over the coffin rather than buying flowers or wreaths. I think she would have enjoyed our practical and pretty solution.

I've never really understood why some people think it important to have a really expensive coffin when it is only either going in the ground or burned to a cinder. I recently found out that there are very nice, inexpensive 'cardboard' coffins which is what I'll opt for when the time comes and let any money I leave be spent on something nicer by my family.

I use to meet up with a group who made things out of wicker, I made a lovely dolls crib. Maybe, just maybe I could make a coffin. Could be my next project but I didn't know what the the neighbours will think. Anyway, my ex husband recently died and my son arranged his funeraL, an extremely simple one with the money being spent on paying for a large number of guests to stay at a lovely hotel for two days and enjoy (if that is the right word) a lovely dinner and party after his funeral. That was his wishes.

I've had an ISA on-going for a while now which should well cover what's needed as I won't be going over the top either, pricewise. One of those recycled jobbies and a Streisand blast of " Second-hand Rose " at the crematorium because of my love of charity/antique shops should suffice, not a long drawn-out affair of Sermons and Psalms.

When you're old, it's an inevitability like tax,, but very much different for a young person.

As you said - I don't think folk notice the coffin at all.
People will remember any happy memories, funny stories, music your MiL liked that are shared at the funeral rather than the look of the coffin.
If you want to add something special at little cost, you can gather photos/poems/family memories to add to the printed order of service or display these at the catering venue - you can probably do this yourself or get a friend who has the skills without going to the expense of getting a commercial printer to do it. We put photos of my mum at various stages in her life with various friends and family on boards around the hall where the catering was and it was very well received.
I'm sure you'll give your MiL a lovely and sensitive send-off when the time comes, while still respecting her wishes.

Haven't had time to read all the responses so sorry if this has already been suggested: a lovely friend of ours had a plain buff-coloured (recycled?) cardboard coffin. I hadn't realized that they were even a "thing", but it was actually rather beautiful, with rope handles, and a spray of meadow flowers on the top. Apparently sometimes people write loving messages or draw pictures on these coffins using felt-tips. I decided straight away that cardboard will be my option, and have told my family.

I have told my family that I want no funeral service at all. Just a cremation asap after my death. One company allows up to 12 people to attend but no service, music etc.
I would prefer my family and friends to have a meal in a nice place with an open bar, listen to my playlist, dance and maybe reminisce.
We don't have much money but what we leave I would like my children to share, not undertakers.
My sister died in hospital in Canada and when I got the call and asked my niece should I fly over she told me that her Mum was to be cremated that afternoon with no attendees. Her friends were arranging a get together for the following week.I was shocked at the time but have since come to realise that that is what I really want for myself.

I have attended far more funerals than I would have liked and the one thing I'm sure of is that they are for the living, not the dead.
coffincompany.co.uk/index.php?route=common/home

Direct funeral for me no fuss at all . On the subject of wicker coffins I read somewhere recently that they tend to squeek as they are taken into the church . It reduced some people to hysterics .

I think the point of prepaid funerals is that if you do it ' in time ', you can avoid inflation. My BiL's funeral last year had been 'bought' over twenty years ago, so was a fraction of the cost that it would be now.

In my experience, the fancy handles, linings, etc- are often chosen due to hard pushing by some Funeral Directors- making relatives feel that it is required to honour and respect your 'dearly beloved' ...

and also family, neighbour, pressure and gossip. My mum was very clear- local pine, no varnish, cottong lining, and the cheapest most natural handles, and NO marble. Funeral Director was a bit miffed, but I insisted and said this is it. I found a natural chunk of local limestone and got a brass bird she had been given to thak her for services rendered- and had it fixed to the stone. You have to be firm with your wishes.

Funerals btw are ecological disasters- varnishes which cause polution, woods from the rainforest, silk, etc...and individual cremations which consume a lot of energy and pollute too.