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Bereavement

Yet another aspect

(52 Posts)
annsixty Fri 10-May-19 09:42:58

I have posted on the other current thread and now another "problem" has reared it's head.
I have realised that I haven't been out on my own since my H died and now I find I can't do it.
Is this normal?
Will I find the courage?
Each time, not many, I have had a reason and someone else has been involved.
I got up this morning thinking I would do some shopping.
I just can't do it.
I don't drive so would have to walk to the bus, I might meet neighbours who perhaps don't know, I would certainly meet someone on the bus which is a community bus ,running just a few times a day and used by locals.
I am surprised by this, I am outgoing and friendly, I am quite scared by the realisation.

BlueSapphire Sun 12-May-19 10:48:09

So much good advice on here, can't really add much to it.

I made myself go out after DH died last year and am so glad I did. I thought that if I stayed in it might become a habit that might be difficult to break, (as it did with a sister).

I kept my rugby season ticket and made myself go to matches on my own. I went back to my yoga class after three months, and have made some lovely new friends there, including another lady also recently widowed. Through her I have joined a couple of walking groups, and we are giving ballet a try next week. She is a bit like me in that we both felt that getting out would be the best thing. I have also joined a meet-up lunch club which is good fun. I go to the cinema on my own and have just booked a matinee at our local theatre. And I am lucky in that I have wonderful family, friends and neighbours.

I find that I really want to talk about DH to people, as it makes me feel close to him and it keeps his memory alive, and that he was a living breathing person.

I have now been on holiday on my own which was great and am on a cruise next month.

But, take as small steps as you can, ann, they will build up and in time they will become miles. I can only echo what other people have said. When you feel ready, you feel ready.

It is a massive shock to suffer, and we each have to find out own way of coping; there is no 'right'way. Good luck and hugs.