Gransnet forums

Bereavement

DD's beautiful funeral.

(122 Posts)
merlotgran Fri 07-Jun-19 11:46:41

Yesterday we laid our precious daughter to rest in a woodland cemetery about half an hour away. She didn't want a religious ceremony but it was spiritual in every way.

Despite a worrying weather forecast at the beginning of the week, there was hardly a cloud in the bluest of skies and a gentle breeze kept us cool as we walked across the wildflower meadow following the hearse. The only sound was birdsong. DH whispered, 'stone curlews' as I held on to my emotions - and him.

The service was simple and comforting. Her elder son gave a eulogy, DD2 read a personal tribute and her younger son read the beautiful poem, 'I am standing upon the seashore' by Henry van Dyke,' which I discovered on another thread on Gransnet. After the committal we listened to George Harrison's 'All Things Must Pass' cleverly provided by DSil via his iPhone and blue tooth speaker.

After the funeral tea I dismantled the beautifully arranged casket spray and made individual posies for guests to take home. There's a rule at the burial ground that all floral tributes must be cleared away after five days and I couldn't bear the thought of having to return to the sight of dead flowers. DD would have approved of my last minute 'brainwave.'

So, today I'm exhausted, relieved that it all went so well and sad because everyone has gone home but we both need to rest now. The last four months have drained us, physically and emotionally.

I am going to miss her so much.

phoenix Fri 07-Jun-19 19:52:46

Merlot it sounds like a very lovely & fitting send off.

Much love & good wishes to you all. flowers

merlotgran Fri 07-Jun-19 20:00:42

Thank you so much, everyone. Ever since I posted on the Lent thread back in February about being angry with God I have been grateful for your lovely messages for the comfort and support they have given me. It seems so long ago now but in cancer terms, her illness was very short indeed.

After our hopes being dashed so many times I hardly dared hope for yesterday being the success it was (if success is the right word) but I knew she had an image in her mind of the perfect setting where we could all say goodbye and that's exactly what she got - and deserved.

We will be able to visit whenever we feel like it to witness the wildflowers blooming and fading as others take over. At the moment ox eye daisies are in full flower. I will also be able to photograph the evolving woodland which is still in its infancy. Tree planting takes place in late autumn and the DGSs have chosen an oak tree in her name. We will witness the changing seasons knowing she is very much a part of such a beautiful place and when our time comes that's where DH's and my ashes will be scattered.

Thank you all once again.

PamelaJ1 Fri 07-Jun-19 20:10:11

I hope that your family and friends got comfort from the ceremony. So sad for all of you.

NonnaW Fri 07-Jun-19 20:13:52

Merlot that sounds like such a beautiful farewell to your beloved daughter. So, so hard for you. Thinking of you and your family at this sad time xx

Lazigirl Fri 07-Jun-19 20:35:35

What a beautiful goodbye to your daughter Merlot and how privileged we are that you have shared it with us. It has been a really difficult time for you and your family and I hope you will all find some peace and comfort. You don't have to be religious to be spiritual.

SalsaQueen Fri 07-Jun-19 20:42:53

merlotgran... So sorry to hear about your daughter. What an amazingly strong woman you are. Love to you xx

annep1 Fri 07-Jun-19 21:17:06

Sounds perfect Merlot
Thinking of you all flowers

Avor2 Fri 07-Jun-19 21:28:24

Sending much love to you. What a beautiful tribute to your DD. flowers

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Fri 07-Jun-19 21:39:31

What a beautiful tribute for your beloved daughter. flowers to you from all at GNHQ

baubles Fri 07-Jun-19 21:40:47

Merlot what a beautiful farewell to your lovely daughter. Thank you for sharing it with us. flowers

midgey Fri 07-Jun-19 21:42:18

It sounds a truly peaceful place, just right. flowers

callgirl1 Fri 07-Jun-19 21:44:36

What a beautiful sounding funeral, and a lovely way to say goodbye to your dear daughter. Thinking of you all x

Auntieflo Fri 07-Jun-19 21:56:47

Merlot thank you for sharing the most beautiful description of yesterday.
All that I would say, has been said by others here.
God bless you and all the family.

dragonfly46 Fri 07-Jun-19 22:05:59

Just beautiful! My thought are with you and your family flowers

ElaineI Fri 07-Jun-19 22:55:14

Merlot - with you x

Buffybee Fri 07-Jun-19 23:08:52

Such a perfect and beautiful setting for your Darling Girl.
Thinking of you and your family...?

mumofmadboys Fri 07-Jun-19 23:56:43

Thinking of you x

Grannynise Sat 08-Jun-19 12:01:51

What a beautiful description Merlot. Thank you for sharing it with us. Love to you and all your family.

BlueSapphire Sat 08-Jun-19 23:31:01

flowersflowers x

Joyfulnanna Sat 08-Jun-19 23:42:01

Beautiful, just beautiful..the thought and care that you put into her funeral will bring you comfort. Funerals are so important for family and friends to celebrate a loved ones' passing. I am so glad the day was perfect for you.

SisterAct Sun 09-Jun-19 00:10:54

❤️beautiful

BradfordLass72 Sun 09-Jun-19 02:20:04

What a very moving tribute Merlot and how beautiful it must have been.

I hadn't heard of the George Harrison song and have just printed part of it out to put in the envelope containing my own funeral arrangements. So many thanks for those inspiring words as well, I am sure they will comfort my son.

With much love to you, DH and your family.

NotAGran55 Sun 09-Jun-19 06:37:41

A beautiful tribute x your daughter would be so proud of you all for her wonderful service .

Maggiemaybe Sun 09-Jun-19 07:44:48

Your post was so touching, Merlot. My thoughts are with you. thanks

Blinko Sun 09-Jun-19 08:03:42

Thank you Merlot for sharing your daughter's story with us. Such a beautiful place for her to rest now. Sending warm wishes to you and your family flowers