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Bereavement

DD's beautiful funeral.

(122 Posts)
merlotgran Fri 07-Jun-19 11:46:41

Yesterday we laid our precious daughter to rest in a woodland cemetery about half an hour away. She didn't want a religious ceremony but it was spiritual in every way.

Despite a worrying weather forecast at the beginning of the week, there was hardly a cloud in the bluest of skies and a gentle breeze kept us cool as we walked across the wildflower meadow following the hearse. The only sound was birdsong. DH whispered, 'stone curlews' as I held on to my emotions - and him.

The service was simple and comforting. Her elder son gave a eulogy, DD2 read a personal tribute and her younger son read the beautiful poem, 'I am standing upon the seashore' by Henry van Dyke,' which I discovered on another thread on Gransnet. After the committal we listened to George Harrison's 'All Things Must Pass' cleverly provided by DSil via his iPhone and blue tooth speaker.

After the funeral tea I dismantled the beautifully arranged casket spray and made individual posies for guests to take home. There's a rule at the burial ground that all floral tributes must be cleared away after five days and I couldn't bear the thought of having to return to the sight of dead flowers. DD would have approved of my last minute 'brainwave.'

So, today I'm exhausted, relieved that it all went so well and sad because everyone has gone home but we both need to rest now. The last four months have drained us, physically and emotionally.

I am going to miss her so much.

Gonegirl Fri 07-Jun-19 14:43:36

Your last line is so sad. xxxx

PinkSweetPea Fri 07-Jun-19 14:42:00

Sounds like it was a beautiful service and tribute to your daughter.

Gonegirl Fri 07-Jun-19 14:40:43

Wow. That was an amazing funeral merlot. And such a good idea about the flowers. x

grannyactivist Fri 07-Jun-19 14:36:12

I think the account of your daughter's funeral is rather uplifting merlot, you describe a beautiful ceremony in a lovely setting - a funeral signifies an ending of sorts and it seems as though you all took part in saying goodbye in ways that felt right to each individual. I particularly liked your inspirational posy making. Time now to grieve and take care of each other as you begin to establish a 'new normal'. flowers

jusnoneed Fri 07-Jun-19 14:34:22

You gave her a lovely send off. It sounds like a lovely place.
A nice idea to use the flowers like that, so much nicer than leaving them to wilt.

Iam64 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:26:58

Merlot xxxxx. flowers

MawBroonsback Fri 07-Jun-19 14:18:06

Beautiful * merlotgran* there is a comforting feeling about arranging a “goodbye” which is spiritual, beautiful and encapsulates your daughter’ spirit.
flowers

sodapop Fri 07-Jun-19 14:15:00

A beautiful way and place to say goodbye to your much loved daughter Merlot . No more pain and sadness for her now, you must all comfort and give strength to each other.
thanks

Nannylovesshopping Fri 07-Jun-19 14:01:57

What a beautiful tribute to your beloved daughter, ?☀️

glammanana Fri 07-Jun-19 13:58:07

Sending you love at this very sad time,please take care and look after yourselves you need to take time and let your family envelope you with their love and support.flowers

Willow500 Fri 07-Jun-19 13:41:22

If there ever was such a thing as the perfect funeral for such a terribly sad loss you have just described it Merlot. Thank you for sharing your very personal day with us and I hope you can take some strength and comfort from all your family in the coming weeks and months flowers

cornergran Fri 07-Jun-19 13:36:08

A very special goodbye to your beautiful daughter. Let others care for you now merlot. Sending love to you and your family.

seacliff Fri 07-Jun-19 13:34:04

What a beautiful, natural and very personal tribute to your darling daughter. Hopefully in time to come that memory will be of some comfort to you all. It sounds a lovely peaceful place to visit.

The next months/years will be hard, but thank goodness you are a loving close family who can help each other through it.

grannyqueenie Fri 07-Jun-19 13:06:52

Thank you for sharing such a personal time, merlot with us all. I’m so glad the sun shone and the birds sang for her, a fitting tribute to someone so much loved by her family and friends. Thinking of you now as you live with the reality of losing someone so special to you. x

SueDonim Fri 07-Jun-19 13:06:18

You did your daughter proud, Merlot. Without making it all about me, I've been on a similar four-month journey with my sister, and it is indeed emotionally and physically draining. It must be ten times worse to endure when it's your own child, whom you never expected to have to bury.

Be kind to yourself, that would be my main message to you. flowers

BBbevan Fri 07-Jun-19 13:05:20

That sounds absolutely beautiful merlot

Parsley3 Fri 07-Jun-19 13:01:58

Merlot ?x

morethan2 Fri 07-Jun-19 12:58:44

I am so very very sad and sorry to hear your news. Heartfelt condolences to you and your family. The service sounds beautiful. I wish I could find the words to comfort you but know that’s impossible. Please take care of yourself and know you are in my thoughts.

Nico97 Fri 07-Jun-19 12:58:42

Merlot flowers flowers

gt66 Fri 07-Jun-19 12:57:01

Merlotgran I don't know your back story, but I'm so sorry to read your sad, but beautiful post about your DD's funeral. It has bought tears to my eyes and certainly puts lifes minor grumbles into perspective.

I just don't know how I would carry on if anything happened to my DC.

jura2 Fri 07-Jun-19 12:53:51

Very moving- this must be so hard for you. xxx

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 07-Jun-19 12:53:06

That is a lovely tribute to your daughter Merlot and I hope it brings some comfort flowers at this very sad time.

Annapops Fri 07-Jun-19 12:50:08

Thinking of you at this sad time. If there is such a thing as a perfect funeral this sounds so close. Wishing you and your family strength over the days and weeks to come.

aggie Fri 07-Jun-19 12:47:57

No Words xxxxx

thisisnotme Fri 07-Jun-19 12:42:12

What a beautiful tribute to your daughter.
My condolences to you and your family, I am so very sorry for your loss.