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My cyber friend ?

(35 Posts)
tanith Tue 18-Jun-19 21:25:46

We have been online friends for 15+ yrs and now she is dying and it’s hard.
We’ve shared our family stories and births and bereavements together, She married her long term partner after years together, I’ve met all her family through photos. We exchanged gifts and cards at birthdays and Christmas.
She’s told me how her husband was sliding into dementia and it was affecting her health.
She’s been in and out of hospital but we’ve managed to stay in touch via her daughter and step daughter but they now tell me she’s so poorly she’s had enough and isn’t expected to live long.
She lives in Illinois USA so we’ve never met and I feel so sad that I can’t tell her face to face goodbye and hold her hand. I’ve written to her and told her how much her friendship has meant to me over the years, her daughter said she smiled when she read it to her I just hope she knows how I feel.
Just can’t stop thinking about her.

Esmerelda Wed 19-Jun-19 15:47:07

So sorry, Tanith. I lost a very dear friend in similar circumstances a couple of years ago ... I still love her and miss her so much. Hugs to you.? ?

Lona Wed 19-Jun-19 15:57:51

Tanith how sad, I'm so sorry.
I have made quite a few friends online, mostly Gransnetters, and there are three or four that I would be very upset to lose. One in particular, who I've met twice, I feel very close to. I think as a pp said, sometimes you just click and nothing else matters.
flowers and hugs xxx

B9exchange Wed 19-Jun-19 20:47:19

How truly sad when someone you have grown to care about is nearing death. I hope you are able to keep in touch with the family over arrangements. It must have been a great comfort to hear that she smiled when your letter was read to her.

trendygran Wed 19-Jun-19 21:12:51

I understand your feelings.I have had a very long term friendship with an original’penpal’ in Indiana USA. Now we just communicate online. I have seen her and her family twice -once here and once in Indiana. Recently her DH has been quite ill and almost lost a leg. Luckily this was avoided and he is now due home from a nursing facility tomorrow. I have felt bad enough for him ,and for my friend during this time . I know I would be just as concerned if she became ill,as I would be for any friend here. We have built up a close friendship over all those years and care what happens in our families. It’s good that your friend’s daughter is able to be a ‘go between’ and hopefully that helps you a little.

tanith Wed 19-Jun-19 22:43:38

I’m not the only one that’s been in this position it seems, such moving stories thankyou. I’m very grateful her family are keeping me updated and seem to realise how important the friendship is to both of us.
Her son recently visited with her from somewhere in the South of the USA and I know she would of waited for him before making her decision she was very fond of her son and only saw him a few times in her later years he would always go fishing and bring her home the catch and cook it for her I’ve seen the pictures of some of his catches.

Thanks everyone

merlotgran Wed 19-Jun-19 22:51:52

I'm sure she knows how you feel, tanith. It's been a true friendship even though you have never met. Your letter will have given her comfort.

tanith Thu 20-Jun-19 06:38:43

Sadly I’ve just received an email that she died last night peacefully. I’m glad she got to hear my letter.

No more comment needed. Thanks for listening .

GeorgyGirl Thu 20-Jun-19 18:56:10

What a wonderful friendship, I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

moggie57 Tue 25-Jun-19 12:03:21

i felt like that with a lot of my penpals ,esp one in kenya ,we wrote since the middle 1970's. sent photo's etc. she had no telephone or internet. so i got in contact with her niece..i sent her money for medicine as she had no money or very little. was in the process of visiting through a friend in the seychelles and she passed away early this year. i wished i had made plans to visit her earlier.. now she is gone.several penpals have now died that i wished i had visited.. but be assured your friend knows how much you love her .and yes dont hold your grief in... . light a candle for her and pray .even if you not a religious person. send her on her way with thanks and love and peace.