I think I will feel better if I return to my home town

DH and I were both from Brighton but met and brought our children up in London.

When DH retired & youngest was at uni we went back to live in Brighton. When GC came along, I missed them do much that I persuaded DH to move back to London 3 years ago.

Thank goodness we did, because he dropped dead 6 months after our move back. So I am very near my children & GC. However, because Brighton is so near, and my closest friends live there, I often go down for the day.

I have friends and a life in London- I'm now a local authority councillor here- I still feel the pull to Brighton and the sea, even through it's become very scummy. My dog lives to swim there and i had my happiest last yeats there with DH.

Life is a journey, but I believe it's important to make a life for yourself where you actually live and not expect to go back to the same life where you had memories.

mosaic I too know Whitton, I have friends still living there. I lived in Sunbury for 22 years. DH worked in Isleworth & I worked in Kingston & then Staines.

After DH retired I took Early Retirement & we downsized & moved to Yeovil, Somerset. We spent more time exploring Dorset & Dorset coast than Somerset. Sadly 15 months after we moved DH died. I moved 2 years later to Devon to be closer to DD & DGS. I have the best of both worlds coast is only about 15/20 mins away & I'm on the edge of Dartmoor.

I was brought up in a small village in Yorkshire near the Yorkshire Dales. DM still lives there so I do visit, I love "going home" but could never live there again, it has changed, village is still very much the same but I know fewer & fewer people.

Do go back for a visit, perhaps a longer stay to get the feel of the area again. I also had to make new friends & join in new groups when I moved here, it takes effort but I love where I live. I have joined 2 Meet Up groups, my Home Town has lots of different Activity groups. Good luck with your decision but be prepared for a few surprises, good & bad when you revisit Whitton/Hanworth/Richmond/Twickenham

If you like your current house. Stay. Travel more.

I used to live in a certain area and it was great at that time. I left because I was needed in my old area. I thought I would move back later. Many years later when I was free to move other problems had shown up and it would not be a good idea to move to that area now because of a lack of facilities that I now need.
I moved back to where I had lived during my childhood and where I visited a lot as relatives lived there. It is awful. There are very different people here and those who were here all those years ago are desperately trying to re-write their history. I remember the true facts of what went on here.
However, there is the emotional pull of this being a family house for a very long time. I do see a need to remove myself from here. I just feel I am out of place. I suspect that people locally had an eye on the houses of the older generation as they died out.

I think it's hard to go back because everything and everyone has changed, moved away or perhaps died.

However, a trip down Memory Lane may well be very enjoyable.

What about moving to a small town in the area where you live?

Love love love my old home town. I still have family that live there. But , and a big but , when I actually visit it now has many,many new housing estates where green fields used to be. The traffic is crazy and everyone is head down scurrying about.
The reality is it's not the great place I left 20 years ago.

Why not rent in the area for a few months to make sure you would be happy to move back to an old area.

There's an old saying - you can't step in the same river twice. Would it be possible for you to rent somewhere there for 6 months? Then you would be better informed to decide if it's the place for you or not.

I would go for a visit, rent for a little while and then think about it. I made the horrendous decision to move back to my roots, and I didn’t fit in any more. I had changed and had to live there until I could afford to move back to the South. I went from North to South ,lived lots of happy years then felt the need to return home””. This was a mistake. Friends were long since gone, people had moved on and I felt lost. I absolutely hated my life. Please think carefully and consider other places. You mention the Isle of Wight. I have found people on the island lovely and friendly and when I was there they made me feel welcome. I was lucky and managed to ,move back to where I lived in the South and I am picking up the threads of my life. Think things through,rent,join different groups, and when you find what feels right for you, make that decision. Whatever you do - think about it.do not rush,as bereavement can make you think irrationally for awhile.With patience you will know what feels right for you.I wish you lots of luck

Gabriella, you're right, there are some beautiful bits of Surrey and I'm very fond of them. I have happy memories of enjoying the countryside there, including walking with schoolfriends through The Chantries to St Martha's and on to the Silent Pool. I'm proud to have grown up there. But after so many years here I find the south of England too crowded and busy for me.

Sorry you don't feel comfortable in Northumberland, mosaicwarts as it's my "home county*. But I know how it feels. We came back here (or very near) a year ago and
I feel 'at home'. It's a good feeling. The accent, the social attitudes etc.
So I advise, "get back to where you once belong!"
As the Beatles said:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=18SA6PTvwhI

You can tell from my pseudonym where I come from and when my future husband told me he lived in Whitton I had never heard of it and said I would never live in the south!
I have been here now for over 19 years and love it and although I love the north I would not think of returning there.
People have mentioned the airplanes but they are not there all the time and to be truthful I don’t really notice them.

I agree with those who suggest renting for a while before you decide.
Good Luck,Mosaicwarts
Please let us know what you decide.

PS I knew that my father had been born in Fulham and decided to find out more about my ancestors.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that my paternal grandmother,her mother and her grandmother were all born in Whitton!

when we moved to Staffs and bought our first house- we knew returning to Surrey or SW London (we lived in Isleworth, then Putney and Roehampton- rented accom- and hospital shack!) - there is no way we could return there- as we couldn't afford a 1 bed flat. It was a 2.5 bed semi from the 40s - and our next house was 4 bed ... never could afford that in London! Our next and last UK house was a bit bigger with quite a very large garden.

I’d dearly love to move back to Cambridge but I’m afraid funds don’t allow it ?

Thanks for all your input!

How nice that my old school has been mentioned - I went to Twickenham County Grammar school too! I was born eleven years earlier in a house opposite the school, 'Clifden House' ... not sure why my Mother went there, rather than hospital. As a teenager I had a great social life in Twickenham, Teddington (The Clarence) and Richmond. Bird's Nest/The George/The Eel Pie/L'Auberge/Hawkes/Cheeky Petes! I haven't had a drink for twelve years - over imbibed on my 50ieth and went teetotal.

And Teddington - I left the BBC and worked for Malcolm Morris at Thames Television from '77-78. Loved The Anchor pub, never tried its little sauna.

But as so many of you have said, especially the poem! I must move forward, with hope.

I will just go home for a memory visit, and when I sell the house will rent somewhere on the south coast, and go exploring. The one complication is that my 23 year old daughter still 'lives' with me at the moment, but she will be job hunting in September and is talking of working in TV in Manchester.

Have a nice evening!

I recently read a story where two sisters returned to their childhood home to visit- The house was kept in the family and maintained without much change as was the town- They woke after their first night in sleeping in their rooms with the feeling that they could simply pick up and carry on as if they had never left- Enchanting story! And probably rare?

I just visited my hometown last week, a little one mile square borough- A sleepy little place in the 60's, now a tiny city with entangled traffic-

Oddly enough, where I live now is more like the place I grew up than the place I grew up-

Returning to a childhood village/town could be a mistake - as others have said, changes, rose tinted specs, loved ones no longer there, etc.

However Whitton is in the London Borough of Richmond so there will be a ton of things you can do and participate in, plus all those marvellous green spaces e.g. Kew Gardens, Richmond Park, the Thames tow paths, etc.

And, free travel at 60

I second the idea of renting - maybe even at first, just a few days in a small b&b whilst you look about.
I have 'gone back', which is why I am posting. I always felt that where I lived most of my adult life, was like a 'posting' - I liked it, met some great people, but never felt I 'belonged'. I now feel myself to be 'home'.
However, my circumstances are different:
I still have my DH who consented to be dragged here, and loves it.
It is a rural area, and although a lot has changed, there is still a lot that is familiar.
I still have 2 family members and 1 old friend living in the area.
It is not, actually, very far from where we previously lived, so meeting friends halfway, or visiting, is not too difficult.

There are some parts of the country where people tend to 'stay' and this is one - although of course plenty of people of all sorts come and go, there still feels here, as if there is a 'core' of shared memories; and my family have lived here as far back as records go. I belong to the local History Group and share family stories.
There are other parts (such as where I spent most of my adult life) where large numbers of people come and go for work and the shared memories are different.

I think that if you can afford to wander a little bit and try out places (if need be, renting out your own home) you may be able to find out what works for you. I think your idea of going back, re-tracing steps is a good one - it will help you work out where you'd like to be.

I live in Twickenham......which is near Whitton. And I love it!

I also don't think you can go back, other than for a look around. You mentioned the Isle of Wight. I lived there for 40+ years and have very happy memories of that period in my life. However wild horses wouldn't get me back there to live. Someone talked about it being quieter and a slower pace of life - not sure that's true anymore. However what is very true is that it is isolated and it costs a small fortune to get off if travelling with a car - whichever company you travel with. Good luck with your decision.

What about West Sussex or Hampshire? Lots of beaches there and nowhere near as noisy as Whitton. Chichester is lovely, there’s Brighton and it’s surroundings, Southampton area.

Dianic - when I fist came to work in London, I worked for Beechams on the Great West Road, and lived in Isleworth, whilst OH was a junior doc at the West Mid.... and we then moved to Staffs, and later in East Leics for 35 years- where we still have a holiday flat...

Moved back to within a few miles of where I was born, bred and educated- in Western Switzerland. I love it- and yet, yes, I'd warn about those rose tinted glasses. The place you grew up in has probably changed, and so have the people you knew- and so have you.

Sometimes I feel I've never left- and other times, I feel like an alien. That is in fact the reality for anyone who ups sticks. I am so glad we have DDs and GDs in the UK in places we love, and our own place too- as they all provide total contrast. We did think we might return one day- when we can't travel as easily as we do know between here, Surrey, Warwickshire and East Leics and here - but with things going as they are in the UK we probably will never do so- even if we have to tighten our belt a lot.

I’m not originally from Whitton but I did live there for a while in the ‘70’s, I found the aircraft noise pretty intrusive even then and it must be a lot worse now. I think you would find it very difficult to live with after Northumberland. As someone else has suggested, if possible, try and rent somewhere in Whitton for 6 months or so before committing to living there permanently - just in case you find the place is very different from what you’re remember it to be.
BTW ... I’ve just moved to the North East and really feel that I’ve “come home” although it’s not where I was born and bought up.

Hello MosaicWarts.
Just wondering where you are on Northumberland Coast. I live at Embleton and love the beach and the friendly local people.
We moved here after our daughter died, and love the slower way of life. Am slowly finding the peace and beauty of this area is easing the pain of not having her in our lives. However there are two of us. So different circumstances to you.
Perhaps you could put your things in storage and just rent somewhere furnished for a few months- until you are sure you can make a new life in the area you came from.
I hope you can find somewhere you can start a new way of life. Take your time.

I can’t think of anything worse than moving anywhere near London. I have a flat in West London and hardly spend any time there less and less. It’s noisy, unsafe, expensive, polluted, and who needs that at gran stage .