I am trying to be detached. My husband of 45 years died early 2019 and I am grateful to have had that time with him. I am busy, always busy, it stops me thinking. I set myself unconscious targets and live in the moment. A cycle ride, making buns, doing the washing, all are targets
Everything stops for the holiday, I have a small amount of time with family but mostly on my own. I am ok being on my own because of targets, things to do. I need to face christmas, the emotional side. Am thinking of doing that tonight when the salvation army is playing in my small town. I am fearful. I know it will be hard to keep the tears in check and will be grateful it will be dark. I want to give the army a donation to help them in their good work, so I have to go and I need to face the emotion
That is the hard bit. I have treats for most days, good chocolates, nice food, dvds, reading, knitting. The holiday will pass and all I need to do is to think of the frazzled, those who would have liked two of my quiet days
